The Life of Millionaires and Junkies

A question that has come up a lot (mostly from my brothers) since I quit my job nearly two months ago is "What do you do all day now that you aren't working?" It's not like I have nothing to do and sit around watching Judge Judy and The View all day. I haven't yet resorted to filling my time with daytime television. I do keep pretty busy because all I did was move from an insanely busy, emotionally and physically unhealthy life to a life on the easy end of normal. First of all, I am in graduate school...which other than completely hating my job that was the main reason I quit. So now I actually study instead of always flying by the seat of my pants. It is so weird actually having time to study and time to be a good student. I can't be a slacker anymore because my excuse of working a million hours a week and trying to squeeze in school is gone. And because I'm not working I'm now able to go to Africa for five weeks this summer to work on my graduate degree. I'll get four credits for my time there and will get some great experience being in charge of a parasite study we'll be doing there. Yay! I now have time to exercise, to get a full night's sleep, and to actually cook sometimes and eat a bit healthier. I now have time to stay in touch with old friends, to make new friends and to go to activities and maybe even do somebody a favor every once in awhile. I now have time to breathe. And I know that someday I'll finish school and will have to return to that cruel world we call the workplace because I won't have school as a valid excuse for not working full time (although I guess I can still get a PhD). But until then, I'm going to enjoy it. I guess I do have a few jobs though. I have to support myself somehow even though I'm not working full time. So, basically I support myself by living the life of millionaires and junkies. Because my first job is... day trading, and my second job is...

selling plasma with the junkies (and other college students and post-menopausal women).

So yes, it is kind of a life of contradiction but I like it.

However, my plasma selling days may be short lived. I've only been twice and both times I've almost passed out and the only thing that kept me from passing out is having them stop sucking the plasma from my body, drinking a Capri Sun and elevating my feet. How LAME. I have never passed out in my life and it is a weird feeling to all of a sudden have your vision go blurry, your hearing turn muted, and feel like you are going to barf. It's kind of peaceful in a weird way though and I'm glad I've now experienced that feeling. I hope that someday when I die it will be that peaceful and surreal.

After I almost passed out the first time I decided to go back because there were all these people at the plasma "donor" center who looked way wimpier than me but who didn't have any problem at all "donating" plasma. Seriously, there were little college girls that had to only weigh a buck fifteen or twenty, women older than my mom, and even some guys with totally grey hair! I've never been one to be squeamish when it came to needles or anything and I see passing out (or almost passing out) as a major sign of weakness and I just can't accept it.

So, I went back a few days later and the same thing happened, although that time I'm blaming my nausea on the guy next to me who didn't smell so good. What a failure I am! I only have two jobs and I'm completely failing at one of them.

Now I'm trying to decide if I should go back a third time. And it isn't even about the money, although they do pay well. If I can get 40 bucks for a little plasma I wonder how much I could get for a kidney or a chunk of my liver? Hmmmm. I'll have to look into that. So yeah it isn't like I'm destitute for the money or anything...it was just going to be a way to get a little extra spending cash until I get back from my summer travels and can apply for a real part-time job...but I'm a FAILURE!

Well, whatever.

Anyway, besides school and my two jobs I keep busy doing a little pro bono work. I like to call my pro bono work Exporting goods to Brazil and babysitting my parents. Every time someone we know goes to Fortaleza I spend weeks before the departure shopping and filling suitcases full of all the things my parents "need." Things like: hot tamales, tomato juice, ranch dressing mixes, Skittles and Nerds for the missionaries, MoTab CDs, books from Deseret Book, chocolate pudding mix, Reeces PB cups, Junior Mints, holiday decorations from Mini Bazaar, clothing, etc. This time my dad has even requested cans of Pork n' Beans and some Root Beer. What the???

And now not only do I spend time trying to fill my parents' every need and desire but now somehow my little exporting business has caught on with some of my parents' friends in Brazil. So this time besides all the other necessities of life I'll also be exporting a laptop, some BYU sweatshirts, and some CTR dog tags (seriously, they make CTR dog tags).

But really I don't mind my pro bono work too much because it

1)allows me to do a lot of shopping with money that isn't mine...and I do love to spend money and shop, other than for clothes...I hate shopping for clothes.

2) It lets me fill my weird desire of pushing the limits on luggage allowances...I don't know why I love getting those bags to exactly 50 pounds, (or a little more if I can sneak it) but I do.

3) It means that I usually get to go to the airport to drop off the bags...and I love going to the airport even if I'm not going anywhere.

4) And lastly, it's all worth it when I talk to my parents on the phone a few days later and they're munching on some good old American candy (the best of the best) and I can sense the excitement in my parents' voices...it's like Christmas again and again.

So see, I'm keeping busy.