Baby Shower 101

Throwing a baby shower...

Step 1: Have a cute little grandma that says "Have the potentially wild (based upon Kim's bridal shower) baby shower at my house." Thanks grandma.

Step 2: Have lots of good food. People like food.

Step 3: Invite lots of friends...

and of course family.

Step 4: Have the future grandma there via Skype. Oh, and have her dress up. And be the ONLY one at the party that dresses up.

I'm still trying to figure out what my mom was dressed up as. The only way I can describe her is as a "Punk Rocker Pumpkin." I'm pretty sure that's what she was aiming for. And may I just say that my mom looked way weirder/scarier via Skype than she did in this actual picture. Those eyebrows are pretty crazy though. Although I have seen worse on women here in Utah that just don't quite ever figure out how to draw on their eyebrows after menopause.

Anyway, thanks Mil for dressing up and joining in on the fun even though you were 6000 miles away.

Step 5: Invite lots of people...the more the merrier. We had over 25 there! I like a big group. Things tend to get a little wild. Just my style...

Oh, and have activities to try and keep people entertained. Since it was Halloween we had some cheesy little Halloween baby shower things like: decorating "little pumpkins," guessing facts about the little "baby a brewing" like weight, name, hair color, etc., and writing advice to Kim, or things your "mummy" did to make you feel special when you were a kid.

P.S. my mom, who is famous for little sayings like that(second only to my Aunt Jenny), helped me come up with them. I'm not that creative/cheesy.

Step 6: Gifts, of course. And Kim got so many nice and thoughtful gifts. I love the little Batman costume Pam made for the little guy. I hope he likes dressing up as much as his dad does. I think Lee will be a little disappointed if he doesn't.

And may I just pause here to say that now that my first nephew is soon to be born I finally have an excuse to shop for baby clothes...and I do. So, my gift was clothes for the kid. Because, as an older single girl there are two things you don't want to be...

1) Bitter

2) Crazy

And one of the weirdest things you can do as a single girl is to start collecting baby clothes. That just has "Crazy" written all over it. I think it is right up there with having a scrapbook of wedding dresses, rings, and reception ideas all gathered up. Psycho. No one wants to marry the crazy girl. But, now I can legitimately enter the baby section of any store and not be seen as a psycho. It is a great and liberating feeling. Because shopping for baby clothes is fun!

Kimmae opening one of her gifts. She was a pretty fast gift opener, a talent everybody likes to see in a baby shower guest of honor.

Step 7: Of course you must have a few cheesy baby shower games to make things fun. These are a must...even if it requires your 83 year-old grandma to have to drink apple juice from a baby bottle. Sacrifices must be made in order to have fun. Thanks for being a good sport grandma.

We also had people guess how big around Kim's little belly is. Some people were off, WAY OFF, but we had a few guess right on.

Step 8: The after party. A must have. This happened spontaneously when I called my brothers to see if they wanted to come eat leftover brunch from the shower. They were there in a flash.

The after party was pretty much the same as the shower except it was the man version of the party. Lee even had his belly measured to see if he was bigger around than his 7 month pregnant wife.

My brothers did a very good job of helping me clean up the extra food. They were pretty amazed at the food. I think they must have just been hungry. You'd think it was the first time they'd ever eaten. I heard things like,

Russell: "Wow, do you have food like this at all these girl parties you have?"

Me: "Yes, even better sometimes."

Russell: "Can I come next time too?"

Me: "We'll see."

Lee: "How much did these sausages cost? They are so good."

Me: "Like 4 dollars a bag or something."

Lee: "That's only 20 cents per sausage patty. Amazing! I could take these to work to eat."
Me: "Yes, however they each have 200 calories."

(I guess my warning didn't worry Lee as he went to the store that night and bought some sausage.)

Ty: "I call for the last pumpkin waffle!...Oooh are those sausages?"

So the boys cleaned up the food. Boys are so good at that. And at making you feel like it is the best food they've ever eaten or ever will eat. Then they helped me put away chairs and clean up.

And then Lee had to see if he could stick out his belly and make it look like Kim's. And...he could.

And fortunately there were exactly three little candy bags left from the shower, so the boys each got a party favor for coming to the after-party party.

Thanks again to everyone who came and everyone who wished they could have been there. Well, until one of those other two boys decides to get married, it looks like my job as a shower planner is done.

Oh, and sorry I didn't get good pictures of everyone who was there. I just didn't take as many pictures as I should have. I'm sure you are all devastated to not have your picture on this blog post. Maybe next time...

Banana Laffy Taffy Anyone?

Here's the candy all separated, organized, counted, and ready for shipping to Brazil. Why did I count EVERYTHING, you ask? Well...

1. So that I could know just how much candy I bought for under 40 dollars (once you subtract out the cost of the Halloween decorations) and once again feel awesome and lucky for getting it so cheap.

2. To make things easier when my mom makes the little candy packages for all of the missionaries. Since I don't have 150 of some things and have way more than 150 of other things she can plan out how to divvy up the candy and all the missionaries will get their fair share...especially since my dad has already been showing some of the missionaries pictures of all the candy I'm sending.

3. To stop me from eating it before I get it shipped off, because I don't want to have to re-count or re-organize it. And, since it is counted, if I did decide to eat any more I'd know exactly what I ate.

4. To stop my dad from eating it when it gets to Brazil. Since it is all counted he can't claim that he "only had 2 pieces" or something, as he has maybe been known to do in the past.


So, here's the final count. And this doesn't include all of the candy I've already eaten and given away (which is quite a bit)...

• 200 Fun Dip Packs
• 300 Reece's PB Cups
• 1200 Dum Dums
• 175 boxed of Milk Duds
• 80 packs of Runts
• 90 boxes of Nerds
• 102 Sweet Tarts (Does anyone eat these other than at Halloween and Valentine's Day?)
• 96 Smarties
• 640 Kit Kats (oops, perhaps a few too many!)
• 76 Whopper packs
• 110 Hershey's Bars (Candy for boring people)
• 110 Almond Joy
• 360 little Twizzler packs
• 166 Strawberry Laffy Taffy
• 181 Banana Laffy Taffy (Yuck!)
• 63 Misc Reece's candy...Fast Break, Reece's Pieces, Fast Break, and Whipps
• 128 other random candy...Take5, suckers, Dove Chocolates, Hershey's miniatures, etc.
  

I'm for sure not sending all of the Dum Dums or Fun Dips, as those will last, and I can take them to share with the kids in Panama next year. Besides, they don't get much candy and they won't know that Dum Dums and Fun Dips are kind of the bottom of the candy barrel. And, kids like gross/weird candy. Looking back I can't believe that as a kid I used to spend money on bubble gum cigars, wax candy lips, ring pops, weird gummy stuff, etc. What is wrong with kids' taste in candy?

Anyway, I'll probably give away some of the Kit Kats too instead of shipping them all, as I could give each missionary 4 and still have 40 to spare!

But my big dilemma is...do I even bother sent the banana Laffy Taffies or should I just throw them away or scatter them throughout Pioneer Park? Do real people actually like banana Laffy Taffies? Will any of the missionaries like them? I don't want to scare the Brazilians away from North American candy since it is usually the best. They must make banana Laffy Taffies for some reason, but I don't know anyone who likes them. Even in my family, and we AREN'T too picky when it comes to candy, the banana Laffy Taffy was a frequenter of the reject candy drawer.

Missionaries are a pretty easy crowd to please when it comes to food though. So maybe the banana Laffy Taffies will be okay. Some missionaries in my parents' mission once ate a pan of brownies that someone made for an object lesson in church that was made with no sugar and double the oil or something. So, I'm not really too worried about sending some borderline gross candy, but I just don't want to waste precious shipment space that could be used instead to send my parents "necessities" like tortillas, Hershey's syrup, tomato juice, etc. That's why the banana Laffy Taffies may be on the chopping block.

Waffleishous

After the Baby Boy Batt Halloween Baby Shower Extravaganza this past weekend (pictures coming soon), I got a lot of requests for the pumpkin waffle recipe. And, as I cannot remember specifically who wanted it, I'll just post it here for blog fans and leeches alike. That way you can just copy the text and print it off.

And let me just tell those of you who weren't at the baby shower...these waffles are delicious and well worth the time and calories. I highly recommend them.

So here it is...

Becca's Super Famous & Delicious Pumpkin Waffles

(Actually, it is my Aunt Jenny's recipe, but let's not get technical.)

The Waffle Part:

Combine these dry ingredients...
2 cups flour

2 T Baking Powder

1 T Cinnamon

1 T sugar

1/2 t. nutmeg

1/2 t. coriander

1/4 t. salt

Next, separate 4 eggs and beat the whites.

To the yolks add...

1 and 1/2 cups milk

1 cup pumpkin

3/4 cup margarine or butter (melted)

1 T. vanilla

Now, mix the wet and dry ingredients and then fold in the egg whites.

Then, cook the stuff. On a greased waffle iron.

Most Delicious Buttermilk Syrup Part:

(a must have)

Bring the following to a boil...

1/2 cup buttermilk

1/2 cube margarine or butter (but butter is better)

1 cup sugar

1 t. Karo syrup

Once that boils, turn it town to LOW heat and add...

1 t. baking soda

1 t. vanilla

WARNING: When you add the baking soda the syrup will grow about 10 times its normal size! I am not kidding. Remember baking soda volcanoes as kids? Yeah, that is what will happen to your syrup if you don't make it in a REALLY big pot. It will make a big mess all over and you will hate yourself for not heeding my warning.

Oh, and I hardly ever use the coriander in the waffles because I usually don't have it. It is optional.

Well, that's it. ENJOY!

Eat This Couponers!

6 bags dum dums (200 count)

4 packs Fun Dip (50 count)

8 packs multi-pack Twizzlers

8 bags Milk Duds boxes

7 bags Whoppers

10 Kit Kat (Jumbo size bag)

16 mixed bags of Reeces, Almond Joy, Hershey's, etc.

2 Reeces Lovers Assortment

1 Bag mixed Hershey's Candy (50 pieces)

1 bag Reeces PB cups

2 jumbo bags of Reeces PB cups

3 bags Reeces/Kit Kat mixes (75 count)

2 bags Dove Smooth Milk Chocolate

1 bag Hershey's Miniatures

1 bag Reeces Fast Break

6 Willy Wonka mixed bags: Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Runts (100 servings)

5 packs Halloween balloons

10 packs spider webbing

9 packages of big napkins

5 packages of small napkins

1 Happy Halloween sign

4 packs of plates

All this: $45.99

Look on fellow shoppers' faces: Priceless

Here's my cart before I went back and grabbed about 10 more big packages.

Here's my overloaded cart waiting to be loaded into my car.

Now lest you all get an image of me laying on my bed passed out from diabetic shock with melted chocolate all over my face, let me tell you what all this candy is for.

For the past year and a half I have sent a lot of candy to Brazil. Most of the rest of the world is candy deprived as far as I'm concerned (exclusions are: Japan with HiChews, Germany with gummi candy, and Belgium & Switzerland with chocolate), and Brazil has major problems in the candy department. So, after every holiday I head to the stores to get the discounted candy to send down to Brazil for my parents and their missionaries.

Last Halloween I bought discounted candy and then we made little bags of candy for a zone conference treat for all 190 missionaries. I started shopping the day after Halloween and went around to several stores gathering the best candy at the best prices I could find. Most of the stores start out at 50% off and then move it up to 75% off later in the week. So, knowing what to buy and when was kind of like playing the stock market...you buy some of the good stuff at first at 50 % off and then hold out hoping you'll be able to buy some more good candy at 75% off and get a pretty low average price without missing out on buying the good stuff.

BUT, this year I got super lucky. I was a little worried since November 1st was a Sunday and I would be a day behind all of the non-Mormon bargain shoppers. But, good things come to those who wait (and keep the commandments) I guess, because I went to Albertson's today and they still had quite a bit of good candy left.

So I'm standing there looking through the carts of bargain candy which was marked at about 50% off trying to decide what was worth it at that price when the store manager, who was nearby organizing some stuff, says to me,

"Hey, whatever you want can be 50 cents for candy and 25 cents for decorations."

To which I replied, "Even this ginormous bag of Kit Kats?"

Manager guy, "Yup, any of the candy."

Nice. So I start to chuck stuff in my cart as this candy is now 90%+ off and I'm now way less picky on what I want to buy. I tried to figure out how many pieces were in each bag so that I'd get the right amount for the 150 missionaries my parents have right now. But once other people in the store (including mostly employees) got word of the new price the manager had given me I got some competition. So I decided to just buy pretty much all the candy other than candy corn and candy packaged with fall colors that I could get my hands on, without starting a fight in the freezer aisle, and figure out if I had the right amounts of candy later.

So I just filled up the whole stinking cart. It was hard to push. And I got a lot of weird looks. And one lady started pulling stuff out of my cart since she thought it was the sale cart and not my cart, so I had to move it to the next aisle over while I finished grabbing the candy I wanted.

Also, because most Brazilians don't celebrate Halloween they don't sell Halloween decorations there. And earlier this year I ended up buying a bunch of Halloween decorations at full price to send down to some people in my parents' ward who wanted to have a Halloween party. So, that's why I stocked up on some cheap decorations too...so I'll be ready for the Brazilians' requests for Halloween decorations next year.

Checking out took forever since apparently I was the first one the manager had given this new price to and they hadn't updated the price in the computer. So every one of the 100 plus items I bought had to be hand entered. Poor checker lady.

This may all be sort of dumb but I was super excited to get $500 + worth of candy and decorations for less than 50 bucks. Some of those big bags of candy were originally 12 dollars each, so it really added up. I guess my life is boring, but being the first one who got the "manager's special" made my day. I love a good deal.

It was almost as good as when, as a kid, my mom and aunt found the Frito Lay dumpster. We aren't too poor but we aren't below dumpster diving for outdated chips either.

Anyway, now I've just got to get home before my roommate does so I can explain to her why our guest room is completely full of candy so she won't think that I'm a complete pig/weirdo.

Just One Reason I Might Be a Spinster...

Because seriously, what guy wants to wake up to this in the morning?

Yup, that's me. Just seconds after waking up a few days ago. Every once in awhile I somehow create these masterpieces while I sleep. I know...amazing. I don't know how I do it but it just happens occasionally. I guess my creative genius only shows itself in my sleep, but subconscious in your sleep creative genius is better than none at all.

My friend Julia promised me that if I would document my crazy morning hair and blog it that she would stop being a big blog leech and would start leaving comments.

See what I have to do to get leeches to comment? I have to put humiliating, no makeup, no shower, pictures on my blog. Oh well, anything for a comment.


So here's a picture of the right side of my head...

and one of the left...which was even more amazing/disgusting than the right side.

So somehow in my sleep my hair formed itself into a perfect mohawk. My friends think that since my hair can form such a great mohawk that I should dye my hair black, pierce my nose and eyebrow, paint a fake tear coming out of my eye, and go goth for Halloween. I'm not so sure about that. I'd hate to stain my pillowcase.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all wondering,

Did you go to bed with your hair wet?
Did you have more product on your hair than usual?
Are you sure you didn't just form your hair into a mohawk using massive amounts of hairspray?

And the answers to those questions are no, no, no. My hair was just how it normally is when I went to bed and I woke up like that.

So, I remember one time a long time ago seeing an Oprah about this lady whose husband had never seen her without makeup and without her hair done and they'd been married like 20 years or something. She would just get up early in the morning and shower and get ready before he could see her in all her ugliness. So she went on Oprah and Oprah brought her husband on the show and the lady came on the show without her hair done and with no makeup and her husband didn't stop loving her and so the lady was all liberated, etc., etc.

So, that's probably what I'll do. If I ever get married I'll just get up early in the morning and get ready before my husband is awake and then he'll never see how amazingly disgusting my hair is in the morning, until one day years later, I'll go on the Oprah show and she'll set me free. I'm guessing that's how things will be anyway. Unless I marry some secret unrelated to me bachelor blog leech and then he will already know and accept the truth about me. Well, we'll see how things pan out.

Dear MOM and Dad, don't read this post. Love, Becca

I miss my parents. A lot. Today I was organizing some photos and came across this one from a little over a year ago at the airport before my parents left. Seeing the picture made me kind of sad.

Three years seems like a really long time. But really it has gone and will go quickly. My parents are just 2 and half months short of halfway. I think I'm going to start counting the mission time like my dad does...he rounds up. So, since they are past the one year mark, really, in his mind (and now mine) they are done with 2 years. It just seems better that way.

I know that for any active LDS family, having your parents leave for awhile to go and serve is inevitable. I know I'm not the only one. I shouldn't whine. And, some people don't even have parents or have nasty mean parents that wouldn't be missed. So, I guess I should consider myself lucky that I have parents who are missed.

And I know you're probably thinking, "Becca, you've been to Brazil three times since your parents left 15 months ago...the longest amount of time you've gone without seeing them is 6 months...stop being a big baby."

I know, I know.

But it is the little everyday things I miss.

• Being in the same time zone.
• Shopping with Mil. (I miss shopping with my mom, not shopping in general as I really don't like shopping.)
• Being home, looking in my parents' fridge, thinking they have no food, only to have my mom come home and whip up a masterpiece out of nothing and then getting to eat that masterpiece.
• Going back to my dad's office to catch him watching "Cinderella Man" on his tiny little TV for the 5th time that week while "working."
• Having it cost 40 dollars for gas to drive up to Idaho to visit the parents rather than a 1000 dollar plane ticket plus a 200 dollar visa.
• Whomping. (What my mom calls it when my dad and brothers start wrestling each other.)
• Not having it not matter where I spend the holidays.
• Seeing my dad's sheep grazing on the hill. (They are at a sheep babysitter right now.)
• Things just being normal. Or as normal as they get with my family.

I guess what got me thinking about all of this is that last week my mom almost got to come to SLC for a few days to bring a sick sister missionary home for surgery. I wouldn't have been in SLC anyway, since I was in Panama at the time, but it just got me thinking of how fun it would have been to meet her at the airport, take her to Cuccina Toscana where we'd spit an order of gnocchis with arabiatta sauce followed by a desert of molten lava cake, and then take her shopping, where she would probably go CRAZY at the prospect of being able to once again buy American clothing and food.

So, secretly in my evil heart, I hope another sister gets sick. Just kidding. Okay, maybe kind of not.

Well, maybe instead of someone having to get ill one of my brothers will get married and then at least my mom (but sadly not my dad) could come home for the wedding. There's always hope.

Anyway, sorry for the WHINING. I'm going to stop now. But let me just promise all of you readers out there, whose parents haven't left yet...you will want to whine. So, don't judge me too harshly now, lest I judge you right back.

Done.

ME = STUPID

Me. Sweaty. Humid. No shower. Don't judge.

Yes.

That's a semi-permanent tattoo.

And yes, it is on my face.

Actually on my nose, the part of my face that sticks out for everyone to see.

Yes, I might be just a little bit stupid.

But before you judge me too harshly let me tell you how it happened, and neither alcohol nor roofies were involved. Just my own lack of judgement.

So, last week I was in Panama (don't worry I will blog about the whole trip in DETAIL later).

We were in Kuna Yala, an area of Panama where the Kuna Indians live. We were staying in the village of Irgandi, part of San Blas, for those of you who know your Panamanian geography.

Oh, and I should mention that they don't speak Spanish in Irgandi. They speak Kuna or Tule or Dule or Tulegaya or Dulegaya, depending on who you ask. It is all the same language, it just has many names. And it isn't at all related to Spanish. It is a Native American language and basically sounds like "boogidy boogidy boo" over and over when they speak. I'm sure it makes sense to them though.

So one day my new found friend Whitney and I were walking in the village and we passed a group of women all congregating outside one of the huts.

One of the women looked at me and said, "igi be nuga?" Which I got mixed up with the word "nuedi" which means hello/goodbye, like aloha. So I waved and put on a big cheesy smile and said "igi be nuga" back.

Unfortunately however, "igi be nuga" does not mean "hello" but instead means "what is your name?" So basically this lady said to me, "what is your name?" and I smiled and waved and said "what is your name?" right back to her. Oops.

Well, that got the women laughing and so we stopped to "talk" using sign-language, body-language, a little Spanish, and the few Kuna words Whitney and I knew.

And we found out the reason that they were congregating in front of the hut. They were painting each other's noses, as is normal to do in Kuna Yala. And they asked us if we wanted our noses painted too.

I thought, can't hurt, right? I should fully immerse myself in the culture I guess.

So, we said yes.

I sat down and one of the ladies started painting my nose. They do lots of different designs on their noses but it usually consists of a long line down the bridge of the nose and then smaller lines crossing that line. Sometimes they paint little asterisk or star looking things that are super cute.

The lady painting my nose however COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING (which I didn't understand why until later.) So she was a little shaky to say the least and so her mom came over and grabbed the brush and took over. The mom however was a little old and therefore shaky too, so the neighbor lady comes by, and disapproving of their work, grabs the brush and finishes painting my nose.

I'm not sure what they were using to paint us but they had these little medicine man type bowls and were adding a black powder to the mixture. I just thought the powder was ash and thought to myself,

'Well, this isn't going to last long on my nose. Especially with how humid it is and how much I'm sweating. It will be fun for the few hours it lasts.'

Well, I was WRONG because as soon as Whitney and I met up with the rest of our group, one of our group members who had been to Kuna Yala several times before informed us that what was "painted" on our noses was more like a tattoo than paint and would probably last 3 to 4 weeks.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh! It would have been one thing if the ladies had done a good, non shaky job, and I had some cool little star looking thing on my nose, but instead it looked like an evil kindergartner had gotten a hold of a black sharpie and done some work on me while I was asleep.

I instantly grabbed a cotton ball and some astringent and went to work on shortening the lifespan of my tattoo. And, the black did fade a bit after a good scrub with astringent. But, a few hours later, the black resurfaced, darker than ever.

However, I persisted and, thanks to half a bottle of astringent, the sun, salt water from swimming in the ocean, sweat, humidity, and sunscreen, what was mean to last 3 to 4 weeks only ended up lasting 3 to 4 days.

Yay!

So, in conclusion, the lesson learned here is...
Don't let a Kuna paint your nose, especially if they are laughing in the process.

The end. But more to come soon on my adventure in Panama.