Me So Delusional

Sometimes I'm so delusional.  


Just today I was thinking about how I might just get rid of my cell phone in a couple of weeks when I leave for South America because my contract is up this month and "I hardly ever use it," I told myself.  'There's really not much point of that 50 dollar phone bill every month when I don't really even talk on the phone very much,' I thought.  


A few hours later I got online and noticed that my cell phone bill was about 20 dollars more than normal.  What the what the?  So I logged on to T-Mobile to look at my bill, thinking that they had accidentally charged me some crazy fee for making calls from the Dominican Republic that I didn't make (as has happened before when I've traveled).  


But no, my cell phone bill was higher because I, personally, used 1037 daytime minutes in my last pay period...and during that pay period I was out of the country for a week and didn't use my phone.  


How in the world did I talk for over 1000 minutes...not to mention my night and weekend minutes?  Who was I talking to?  What was I talking about?  I guess getting rid of my cell phone might not be the best idea right now...or, maybe I should.  Maybe I have a problem...

I had a dream...

I had a dream.  
Last night.
In my dream I was being fitted for a wig, an afro wig.  
And the only thing I thought was, "this is weird, but it sure will help me blend in when I travel in Africa and the Caribbean (and Mississippi)."  
Yeah, I bet it would.  Ha!


I think I'm a little obsessed with my hair right now because I just got back from the Dominican Republic (more about that later) where the humidity level is much higher than my Utah/Idaho norm.  


And as much as I already don't like (and am self conscious) about my hair, it gets much worse in humidity.  My self esteem is pretty much inversely proportional to the humidity level...up goes the humidity and down goes the self-esteem.  That's why I can never live somewhere very humid.  I can visit humid places but I have to get home to a dry climate before my self-esteem hits irreversibly negative levels.


And when I do travel my only hope for decent hair or a decent picture is the 15 minutes after I use my fabulous ghd flat iron, a flat iron I came so close to losing this past week.  


So I'm going through airport security this past Saturday as I'm leaving the DR when I hear a lady in front of me shouting, "TRUST ME, I WILL NEVER COME HERE AGAIN!"  I looked ahead to see what all the commotion was about and I saw security taking away her flat iron.  'Crap, mine is in my carry-on too', I thought.  I always carry on my flat iron just in case I get stuck somewhere on my journey home and need to do my hair.  You never know.


Just then I get pulled aside for a baggage check and sure enough they pull out my flat iron too.  I decided, from past experience and from seeing the lady in front of me freaking out, that yelling or getting upset wouldn't do me any good.  So, I just calmly said to the security guy, "please don't throw away my flat iron, it is a really nice expensive one.  Can I check it or mail it to myself or something?"  


'Besides,' I thought to myself, 'how am I going to kill anyone on the plane with a flat iron anyway?  It's not like there's a place to plug it in and heat it up.  And I'm not coordinated enough or strong enough to choke anyone with the cord.  I've never been to a country that didn't allow you to carry on flat irons.  Ridiculous.  This country is retarded.  What's the next thing they're going to take away from you before flying...your karate skills?  Seriously.  Chuck Norris flying with no weapons at all is way more dangerous than me flying with my stupid flat iron.'  


But I didn't say any of that...I just though it.  And instead I was soooooo calm and nice.  And I could tell that he didn't want to have to take it away from me.          


So the guy quietly says to me, "Okay, you can check it," as he looks over his shoulders to make sure that none of the other security people or the crazy lady in front of me heard him.  So I scoot to the side and begin re-organizing my carry-on to get it ready to check.  


I expected the security guy to come show me back through security or make sure that I went back and checked the bag.  But when I looked back towards him he was busy with someone else and was looking another way.  I took his negligence to mean that he didn't want me to have to check it and maybe wanted me to get away with carrying on my flat iron.  


So, I zipped up my bag and took off, and didn't even look behind me.  I tried to act natural but I sped right over to passport control.  And of course the guy stamping my passport took FOREVER.  And he was acting weird and looking around and stuff.  I thought any second I was going to be swarmed by security and handcuffed, but unfortunately (for the quality of this story), I was not.  


I hurried up to the gate and found a nice little corner where I thought the bad guys (aka security) wouldn't find me.  And then it came time to board the plane, and of course, I got pulled aside at the gate for those last minute "random" checks they do when you're flying internationally.  


Ahhhh I totally forgot about the possibility of getting checked at the gate.  And my flat iron was pretty much right on top.  Luckily the guy doing the check wasn't too thorough and somehow I slid past that one.  


Then, as I'm sitting on the plane waiting for takeoff, the flight attendant came and asked to see my boarding pass.  'Ahhhhh, how do they know I illegally busted through security?' I thought.  But, the plane took off and I didn't get arrested.  End of the paranoia.  


And guess what?  Crazy yelling lady was in the seat right in front of me and was telling her sad tale to the flight attendant of how security "took my flat iron, and they took the flat iron of a girl behind me in line too."  Haaaaa, no they didn't lady!  My friends and I got he-heeeing over that one as we ducked our heads behind the seats.  

Anyway, I'm sure that sneaking a flat iron through security isn't the smartest thing I've done, but I'm glad I did it because:
a) I love that flat iron
b) It is dual voltage and I need it for traveling
c) It was expensive
d) There's no reason why I shouldn't have been able to carry it on in the first place and sneaking it on was a matter of principle.  
e) Not knowing whether or not I was going to be arrested was sort of exciting to be honest.  I guess my life is boring and I need a little excitement now and then. 


I don't know why, but any time I do something a little stupid like this or like when I took a bunch of suckers across the Zambia/Zimbabwe border for some random guy, I always look to the future and think of the book deal and life of luxury and fame that would follow.  I never focus on my five years in prison or whatever.  I always look for the positive and look toward the future.  I guess that's good, right?


But, nothing happened this time, so don't expect to see the book, "The Girl Who Spent Five Years in a Dominican Prison Over a Really Nice Flat Iron," on bookshelves anytime soon.  

Becca Reviews In-N-Out and Idaho...all in one blog post

Back in 2002 I ate at In-N-Out while visiting Southern California because, well,  you have to eat at In-N-Out when you're in California.  But I couldn't really remember what I thought of the place.  


So, now that In-N-Out has finally made it to SLC, I thought I'd try it again.  


And let me just tell you, I now know why I couldn't remember what I thought of the place...I couldn't remember because it just isn't that great.  It's not horrible, but not great...completely unmemorable.


Here's my review:


The fries are really dry and flavorless.  Skip them.


The shakes don't have much flavor and seem to be made of fake ingredients that don't melt like a shake should melt.  I only ate about a third of mine and left the rest to melt.  It didn't really melt but just turned into foam.  It was weird.  Yuck.


The hamburgers are okay.  Really, they aren't bad for a fast-food hamburger, but they're still fast-food hamburgers.  


Anyway, I guess I just don't know what all the hype is about.  Because really, I think In-N-Out is called In-N-Out because I wished I could get the food back out, as soon as it went in.  Barf.


BUT, in all fairness to California, the home of In-N-Out, and to keep my blog unbiased and fair (as always) I will now do a little review of Idaho too. 


Let me start out with an excerpt from the Idaho State Song.  And yes, proudly, this all comes from memory.  


"And here we have Idaho, winning her way to fame.  Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze and romance lies in her name."


Now, first of all, what in the world does the name Idaho have to do with romance?  That has always confused me about that song.  I don't know about you, but I've never found any romance in Idaho.  And fame?  What fame?  Oh yeah, famous potatoes.  


Idaho weakness number 1: The state song is pretty stupid and confusing.


Idaho weakness number 2: Holy crap it is cold!  I forgot how much colder Idaho Falls is than Utah until I went home for Christmas.  I guess, in all fairness to Idaho, Utah is warmer right now because of a huge cloud of pollution blanketing the whole Wasatch Front...worst air quality in America, but it keeps me warm.  


Idaho weakness number 3: Radio stations...are there any worth listening to?  So sad.  Too bad I don't like country music...there are plenty of country stations.


Idaho weakness number 4: What's with not plowing the roads when it snows? Or at least salting the roads?  Seriously.  They don't plow soon enough and then the snow gets packed down, which turns to ice, which never melts because it is so cold.  What's the deal with that?


Idaho weakness number 5: Seeing people from the past everywhere.  I don't really like running into people from the past...that's why it is the past...because it is supposed to be OVER, but everywhere I go in Idaho I run into people from my past.  I guess it just drives me crazy because I can't stop off at the grocery store in my exercise clothes like I can in SLC or go a whole day without make-up.  Sometimes I like anonymity.  


Idaho weakness number 6:  Lack of variety in restaurants, which I know is not Idaho's fault but is simply a result of not having a population big enough to support a bunch of awesome restaurants.  


Well, that's about it.  Other than that Idaho is pretty much perfect to me...garbage burning and all.  


And, life in Idaho can give me a good laugh.  A couple of weeks ago my brothers and I were talking about the honor roll field trip to North's Chuck Wagon with skating at Starlite Skating and how inevitably some kid would pig out way too much at the delicious and unlimited buffet and then barf on the bus on the way home.  


And that got us talking about field trips.  Tyler told us that when he was in second grade or something they went on a field trip to the seafood section at Albertson's to see the lobster tank.  I could not stop laughing.  I just thought Ty's little field trip to the "aquarium" was too funny.  Haaaaaaaaaaaaa field trip exhibit by day, dinner by night...poor lobsters and poor kids!  Such is life in  Idaho!  


Another funny thing about Idaho is the major lack of racial diversity.  So, a few weeks ago, a quick loan place in Idaho Falls was robbed by three black men.  Geniuses.  Seriously, if you are black in Idaho Falls you can't do anything wrong because you WILL NOT blend in and WILL NOT get away with it.  I mean with a black population of like 17 in Idaho Falls, what were these guys thinking?  I guess they ended up being from Oklahoma or something but still guys...rob a store in a less whitely homogeneous city if you want to get away with it.  For example, try robbing a store in Mobile, Alabama, not Idaho Falls, Idaho.  The sad thing is that I bet all 9 black males in Idaho Falls got turned in as suspects.  I can just see some do-gooder old lady calling the police after hearing about the robbery on the nightly news... "I think my neighbor might have robbed the cash store.  He's black."  Haaaaaaaaaa pretty funny and kind of sad for those innocent few black men in IF.  


Anyway, that's all on my little Idaho rant.  I do love the place, as I'm sure my regular blog readers know.  My mom doesn't think I'll last living in Idaho because I've gotten too used to living in Salt Lake.  I guess my hightailing it back to Utah only two weeks after moving to Idaho may be why she thinks that.  But, I'm just here for a visit, I promise.  I just was SO cold that my knuckles were bleeding, SO in need of friends (and I have none in Idaho...plenty of family and married friends but zero single friends, which is what I really need), and dying to get back to my wonderful gym in Utah.  


But, all I need is a good pair of winter gloves, some single friends, and a treadmill and I think I could become a real Idahoan again.  


Oh, and one of the best parts about coming back to SLC for a few days?...going to my book club "meeting" and realizing that NONE of us read the book we were supposed to read.  The book was Wuthering Heights and I just could not get past about page three of that book, and apparently neither could anyone else.  So boring and so hard to follow!  Does anybody love that book?  Should I give it a second chance?  


Anyway, I think I'm in the best book club ever because reading the book is just an excuse to get together once a month for dinner.  And, on Friday we're off to the Dominican Republic for a book club excursion.  Unfortunately, the little side trip we wanted to do to Haiti probably isn't the best idea right now.  Not that it was that great of an idea pre-earthquake, but still...Oh well, maybe another time. 

Christmas, etc.

Yay, they (and we) made it...half way.  One and a half years down, one and a half years to go.  It seems like FOREVER but I hope it will go fast.  Way to go mom and dad!  I'll let them tell you what they did to celebrate.  


I hope the 1330 pounds (yes, I've been keeping track) of stuff I've sent them in the past year and a half has helped them cope and get through the time.  They do seem a little more able to deal with the stresses of mission life when they have some American candy in the house.  American candy is the best!  And it their defense about the 1330 pounds, some of it (maybe a quarter of it) was for the missionaries, and not ALL of it was food.    


And maybe by the time they get home I'll be all tough from carrying suitcases in and out of my house, in and out of my car, to UPS, to the airport, and to the houses of people traveling to Brazil.  No wonder my back and shoulder hurt!  


And speaking of hauling around 50 pound suitcases everywhere I go, Lee gave me a luggage scale for Christmas which is going to be a life saver for me and anyone who has to drive me to the airport.  Apparently, according to my brothers, I'm a pain to take to the airport because I never know how much my bags weigh and am always adding stuff at the airport to get them right to 50 pounds.  So, now I should be a little less annoying at the airport.  


I got a lot of great stuff, like this, for Christmas.  I'll never be lonely again.  Thank you Kim.   And thank you to everyone else for the great gifts and money.  I love gifts and money.  Unfortunately though I didn't receive a leopard print Snuggie.  I guess I'll have to buy that one for myself.  


My brothers and Kim and I had a great Christmas all together in Idaho.  For some reason I didn't even take one picture.  Sad.  My mom and dad gave us a wii for Christmas so we spent half our time playing the wii and pretty much the other half of the time eating (lest we actually get fit playing wii fit).  Thanks to some great extended family we had invites for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve.  Thanks to everyone for thinking of us orphans during this difficult holiday season.  We really appreciate being included and thought of.   


Anyway, that's my Christmas post.  It's not that exciting but now maybe my MOM will be satisfied. 

Decade-End Summary 2000-2009

Decade-End Summary 2000-2009

(aka: My Twenties)

alcohol units consumed: 1 (mission mix-up)

cigarettes: 0 (excellent)

pounds lost and re-gained at least six times: 30 (v.b.)

new countries visited: 35 (v.g.)

degrees obtained: 2 (excellent)

houses bought: 1

houses sold: 1

grandparents lost: 2 (v.s.)

sisters-in-law gained: 1

time spent on foreign soil: 2 years and 3 months 

times moved: 18

roommates: 34

Well, I can't say that this decade was too bad.  It is crazy to me that my twenties have come and gone.  Honestly, it was all kind of a blur.  There are whole years where all I remember is where I traveled to.  Sad.  Oh well, at least I remember something. 

2000: The end of the civilized world did not come, as some anticipated, on January 1, 2000.  We had a big extended family New Year's party to celebrate Y2K.  I spent the beginning of the year at BYU and the end of the year as a missionary.  I entered the MTC on August 23, 2000.  While at the MTC I got to sing in the missionary choir at General Conference...super cool, especially since I don't sing.  I guess they just needed sisters, and fortunately I am an excellent lip-syncher due to years of practice.  After a three week visa wait in San Diego, I made it to Argentina by mid-November.  I always wanted to serve a mission and the time finally came!

2001: I spent the whole year in Argentina as a missionary and loved almost every minute of it.  I met lots of wonderful people, made life-long friends, shared the gospel, learned Spanish (or Castellano as the Argentines call it), ate a lot of delicious food and a lot of disgusting food, helped people change their lives, gained confidence, gained weight, got lice, learned and experienced more than I ever could have imagined, and knew I'd never be the same because of serving a mission.  

2002: I was still a missionary at the beginning of the year, came home in March, thought everybody lived worldly and empty lives (including myself), got used to "normal" life again, traveled to China with my mom, grandma, cousin, aunt and some family friends, went back to BYU, and got a job teaching ESL at the MTC.  

2003: I spent the whole year at BYU.  I studied a lot and worked a lot and had a little bit of fun.  Luckily I loved my job at the MTC.  It was like a second little mission and was such a fun adventure.  I traveled to Guatemala, Honduras and Mexico with my friend Cindy and discovered that all my time spent floating the canals of Idaho as a child payed off.  Pretty much everyone in the group got Montezuma's revenge, except me.  My gut of steel is my one gift from God, and is evidence to me that I'm meant to travel.  

2004: in January I unwillingly moved to Salt Lake City to do my student teaching.  It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  In April I skipped out on my graduation ceremony from BYU and headed to Argentina, Uruguay, and Chile with my mission companion Hermana Merzlock.  We had a great time visiting the places and people we loved.  In August I started my first "real" job working at ARUP laboratories.  In October I got to go to Peru and see Machu Picchu...it was a great trip, even though I had to go on my own.  

2005: I got to travel to Guatemala with my grandpa and grandma F.  I'm so glad I got to go and meet all my grandpa's Guatemalan friends, especially since my grandpa passed away a couple of months later.  In March I bought my first ever house...it was such a cute little place.  That summer a high school friend Corrine and I traveled to Europe for a couple of weeks.  We had a great time visiting the U.K., Holland, Germany, Austria, and the Czech Republic.  We had some great adventures.  

2006: I seriously don't remember anything about 2006 except that it was the year of the Briget Jones Thailand Tour, my third trip to Guatemala with my grandma, and I somehow talked Lee to go to Europe with me so he could visit his mission.  Lee and I went to France, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, and Ukraine.  I had so much fun.  Oh, and Lee lived with me for about six months during 2006.  He  was one of my favorite roommates ever because he is such a good cook and a great friend.  I loved having him live with me.  In August Lee and I went sky-diving to celebrate my 27th birthday.  Don't worry, we wrote out our wills first.

2007: In January my mom and I warmed up for a week in Cabo San Lucas.  In February my grandma B passed away...so sad.  In March my mom and I headed to Paris for a week.  It was pretty cold but fun.  In April my mission companion Hermana Forrest and I traveled to Ethiopia and Kenya, first stopping off for a few days in Holland and Belgium.  Such a great trip.  In September Lee got married and I gained my first ever sister-in-law, Kim.  I started graduate school that fall so my traveling had to go on hold for a bit.

2008: I started off the year with a quick trip to California and Mexico with some work friends.  In March my Spinster friends and I road tripped Portugal, Spain, Morocco, and Gibraltar (U.K.) over Spring Break.  It was quite the adventure especially since none of us were really proficient in driving a manual transmission car and that's all we could rent in Europe.  Kate got good at driving stick really fast and became the main Spinstamobile driver.  In May I sold my cute little house.  In June my parents left for their mission in Brazil.  I spent July in Paraguay working on my practicum for grad school and then stopped by Brazil to visit my parents on the way home.  In October Kate, Christa, and I had an awesome week in Costa Rica despite the torrential rain storms and mudslides.  In December my siblings and I headed back to Brazil to  visit our parents for Christmas.

2009: Due to unbelievably low airfare to Belize I went in both January and February, once with my brothers and cousins and once with some Spinster friends and a random guy named Ed who we met in Guatemala.  In February I quit my job.  I was soooo ready for a change.  In June I did some work for school in Ghana and then traveled afterward around Africa with friends.  I spent July in Brazil, August in 30th-birthday-depression, and then went back for my last semester of school in September.  In October I traveled to Panama with VIDA and learned that I could survive without a daily shower and a hairdryer (but I hope I never have to).  


Well, there's my decade in review.  I have a fresh new passport and can't wait to see what the next 10 years will bring.  Hopefully I'll be more prepared for 40 than I was for 30.  I'm going to start preparing myself mentally right now so meeting my next decade mark won't be so traumatic.  Well 2010 to 2019, here I come!

Sorry if my decade summary seems like one big boring travel log...but really I don't do much else besides work, school, and travel in my life, and I figure you'd rather hear about travel than about work and school.  So there.  

Year-End Summary 2009

Year-End Summary for 2009

alcohol units consumed: 0 (excellent)

cigarettes: 0 (v.g.)

pounds lost: 10 (good)

pounds gained: 20 (n.g.)

new countries visited: 8 (not bad)

jobs quit: 1 (yay!)

degrees obtained: 1 (excellent)

times moved: 4 (not fun)

blog posts: 79 (v.g.)

weeks spent on foreign soil: 11 (not too shabby)

January: Spent the first part of the month in Brazil, flew back to Utah, moved out of my apartment and into my car, stayed in hotels and with my friend Rachel until it was time to go to Belize, and then moved into my new apartment upon returning...it wasn't a fun month...even with the trips to Brazil and Belize.

February:  Worked like crazy at the first part of the month, quit my job after much turmoil, stress and pain, and went on Belize trip number two.

March: School, blah.

April: School, blah.

May: Moved back to Idaho, spent the month at my grandma's house, was sick most of the month with some weird upper respiratory disease obtained while SCUBA certifying at the Aquatic Center, thought my ear would explode when I flew to Africa due to weird disease, ear didn't explode.

June:  Spent the whole month plus some in Africa (Ghana, South Africa, Mozambique, Zambia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe) and loved pretty much every minute of the trip, fulfilled life-long dreams of SCUBA diving and Bungee Jumping, didn't want the trip to end.

July:  Got back from Africa, found out I was going to be an aunt (yay!), four days later flew to Brazil to surprise my mom for her birthday, spent the rest of the month in Brazil with my parents, stressed over turning 30 for pretty much the whole month.

August: The arrival of the dreaded 30th birthday...it really was as bad (or worse) than I thought, spontaneous road trip of Idaho, Oregon, California, and Washington with Grandma Fern, and moved back to Utah for school.

September:  School, blah. 

October: Lots of school, and a somewhat last-minute trip to Panama.

November: School, blah.

December: Passed Biostatistics, finished grad school, moved back to Idaho, Christmas, yay!

Overall 2009 was not my favorite year of life, but I didn't die or get any major diseases so I can't complain.  And...I did get to travel some, finally got up the courage to quit a job I came to despise, and found out that in early 2010 I'd be a first time aunt.  So, really, not too bad. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!