Here is a direct transcript from phone conversations with my brothers earlier today when I called them asking them for their social security numbers so they can be beneficiaries on my IRA accounts.
Me: "Tyler I need your social security number."
Tyler: "Why?"
Me: "So I can steal your identity."
Tyler: silence
Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?"
Tyler: "Well are you planning on dying anytime soon?"
A few minutes later I called Russell...
Me: "Russell, I need your social security number."
Russell: "Why?"
Me: "So I can steal your identity." (thought I'd try it out one more time)
Russell: Silence (dang, my joke didn't work again)
Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?"
Russell: "Well have you been feeling sick lately?"
Me: "No, I'm just setting up my account and you have to plan for sickness and death ahead of time."
Russell: "Oh."
Me: "So can I get your SS #?"
Russell: "Well how secure is the website?"
Me: "I don't know...secure I'm sure. Do you want to be a beneficiary or not?"
Russell: "Sure."
Little do they know that my mom has a 3 by 5 card at her house in Idaho with all of our SS numbers written on it. I just haven't been able to get a hold of Lee yet to get those numbers from him. So I decided to just call my parents in Brazil to get theirs. Here's how that conversation went...
Me: "Dad, I need your social security number."
Dad: "I can't give that out...what for...how do I really know that this is you on the phone?"
Me: "It is for my IRA account beneficiaries..."
and then before I could even finish explaining my dad excitedly starts in with his SS #...
Dad: " 519-**-****."
So at least once my dad knew it had to do with being a beneficiary he gave me his number. Then he hands the phone to my mom.
Me: "Mom, no one in this family trusts me!"
Mom: "Well, you should have called me...I would have given you my social security number plus all my account passwords." (This is because we always tease my mom about how NOT careful she is with information like that.)
Little does she know that I already know all her passwords but at least it is good to know that someone in my family trusts me and doesn't want me dead.
And as far as Lee goes...he still won't answer my phone calls so I guess no money for him! He'll learn to answer when I call...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Family...
Here is a direct transcript from phone conversations with my brothers earlier today when I called them asking them for their social security numbers so they can be beneficiaries on my IRA accounts.
Me: "Tyler I need your social security number."
Tyler: "Why?"
Me: "So I can steal your identity."
Tyler: silence
Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?"
Tyler: "Well are you planning on dying anytime soon?"
A few minutes later I called Russell...
Me: "Russell, I need your social security number."
Russell: "Why?"
Me: "So I can steal your identity." (thought I'd try it out one more time)
Russell: Silence (dang, my joke didn't work again)
Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?"
Russell: "Well have you been feeling sick lately?"
Me: "No, I'm just setting up my account and you have to plan for sickness and death ahead of time."
Russell: "Oh."
Me: "So can I get your SS #?"
Russell: "Well how secure is the website?"
Me: "I don't know...secure I'm sure. Do you want to be a beneficiary or not?"
Russell: "Sure."
Little do they know that my mom has a 3 by 5 card at her house in Idaho with all of our SS numbers written on it. I just haven't been able to get a hold of Lee yet to get those numbers from him. So I decided to just call my parents in Brazil to get theirs. Here's how that conversation went...
Me: "Dad, I need your social security number."
Dad: "I can't give that out...what for...how do I really know that this is you on the phone?"
Me: "It is for my IRA account beneficiaries..."
and then before I could even finish explaining my dad excitedly starts in with his SS #...
Dad: " 519-**-****."
So at least once my dad knew it had to do with being a beneficiary he gave me his number. Then he hands the phone to my mom.
Me: "Mom, no one in this family trusts me!"
Mom: "Well, you should have called me...I would have given you my social security number plus all my account passwords." (This is because we always tease my mom about how NOT careful she is with information like that.)
Little does she know that I already know all her passwords but at least it is good to know that someone in my family trusts me and doesn't want me dead.
And as far as Lee goes...he still won't answer my phone calls so I guess no money for him! He'll learn to answer when I call...
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5 comments:
this is how the convo would have gone with me:
becca: "geri i need your ss#."
geri: "k. why?"
becca: "i'm setting up my ira and need your ss#..."
geri: "am i being audited?"
(what the heck is an ira??)
Loved the post, but what is wrong with Lee's fingers in the picture? He looks like he had a nasty time during woods class or something
Haaaaa Kate, you're right...I've never noticed Lee's fingers in that picture. He does look like some old wood shop teacher.
Oh, and Geri an IRA is an Individual Retirement Account. You still have a few years until you have to worry about stuff...so enjoy your youth.
I can't wait to see what Lee's response is. :)
What a beautiful way to start my day! Hilarious!
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