More From the Funny Farm...

Okay, before I start in on my usual complaining I'll share a few pictures so you can see how beautiful it is out here in the Chaco of Paraguay. It really is quite peaceful and pretty. A beautiful pink sunset

The moon is so bright here. And we've had a lot of full moons lately...maybe that's why all the animals are weird and out to get me.

Home sweet home. Here's the little house we live in. And it even comes with a dog. Lucky me!

So I know that you all are probably getting sick of hearing all my animal stories...and there have been a lot. I should know...I've been here through them all. I feel like I'm on some freaky man versus Mother Nature show or something. Every day is a new experience. Here's a summary of my first four days here in the form of animal attacks.

First of all, the frogs. I think I've said all I need to about the frogs other than that I think their numbers are growing. Maybe I'll invite them to the sexual education classes I'll be teaching later this week.

Then there are the centipedes. Aren't centipedes supposed to be like a centimeter long or something? That's what I thought they were named for. Well, here they are 4 or more inches long and sadly I am not exaggerating at all. I wish I were. Disgusting.

Monkeys. Now I'm having problems with monkeys. So the other night I'm walking down this path that goes to our little house and all of a sudden I hear some movement and noise in the trees above me. I look up to find that I'm surrounded by three monkeys who were in attack mode against me. They had even come down into the lowest tree branches so that they could make eye contact with me. They were making this horrible sound. I don't know how to describe it other than that it basically is the sound you would imagine a wild animal making right before it goes in for the kill...a horrible high pitched growling sound. I sprinted off though before they could eat my eyeballs.

Then there were some what I thought were bulls on the road that I walk along each night. I was like, "oh great...just what I need...to get attacked by a bull." They were totally taking up the whole road too. I didn't know what to do, but these "bulls" were looking at me with an evil look. And as luck would have it I was carrying a red plastic bag with me because I had just been to the little store that is about a half a mile away from the school. Great. So I just stood there trying to act natural until some kids from the school came down the road and told me that they weren't bulls...I guess they were just cows. But they looked really mean and had horns...what was I supposed to think? Luckily the students who saved me from the bulls were some of the Bolivian students...I love the Bolivian kids...they are so nice and friendly and are probalby less likely to make fun of me later than others would be.

The dogs and mosquitoes are like my best friends now because there are much scarrier animals.

Such as...the SNAKE that came in through our doorway. Yes, that's right. Just when I thought this place couldn't get any freakier that had to happen. I'm just glad I saw it coming in so we could take care of it before it took up residence in my bed or something. Here's a picture of it coming in.

It was pretty small, but it was black and looked EVIL. I guess it is poisonous too but it didn't get a chance to use its poison on me because we got one of the students to come and kill it for us.

This student's name is Angel and believe me, he is an angel. He smashed that snake to death for us. He's one of my favorites.

I have to draw the line somewhere. So I decided to rub bug repellant cream in a line on the floor infront of the door to my room. Just to kind of let all the animals know that I will kill anything that crosses the line. I hope it will just repell them. I know it isn't really going to work but it made me feel more secure until I could buy some MATA TODO spray this weekend in Asuncion. That translates to KILLS EVERYTHING. I now have a headache from spraying the MATA TODO everywhere, but I have high hopes that it will kill every living thing in our apartment except us and that I won't lose too many brain cells from using it. I'll keep you all posted.

Oh, and my mom emailed me the other day to let me know that apparently you can flush a frog. She and my dad had one in their toilet in one of their hotels in Brazil...and she claims that she flushed it. So either the toilets flush harder in Brazil or else the frogs are weaker...I don't know. All I know is that you can't flush a frog in Paraguay!