Enchanted

Last weekend I was in Asuncion just hanging out for the day enjoying not being in the middle of nowhere. I have decided that although I am a country girl at heart I like knowing that I can get to a mall, restaurant, or movie theater in under 20 minutes and whenever I want. That's why I love where I grew up...far enough away from everything that you can see the stars at night and burn your own trash but close enough to a city that I don't get claustrophobic or extremely bored.

So, Saturday afternoon I headed to the mall which is just maybe a 15 minute walk from the Intern House. I'm walking along as I normally do in foreign countries...looking down trying not to trip on the uneven sidewalks or step in dog poo while at the same time watching out for scary people and dogs that may want to attack me. So I'm half sort of out of it just staring at the sidewalk and the other half of me is ready like a hawk to attack any person or animal that poses a threat to me. It is a weird combination of consciousness. Just ask any of my mission companions about my ability to completely knock a dog unconscious with my missionary bag before my companion even saw the dog. I have an amazing sense for the presence of dogs (and scary people).

Anyway...you might ask, "What is a nice white girl like you doing walking all by herself in a big unfamiliar foreign city?" I wasn't worried about walking by myself though because first of all I was packing heat (aka Mace). Secondly I was in a really nice neighborhood...they even have armed guards on about every other corner. Thirdly it was still light outside. And last of all I was only carrying about the equivalent of 25 bucks or something so if I got robbed it wouldn't have been that big of a deal anyway. Scary but not a big loss.

So I'm walking along in my state of partial consciousness when all of a sudden this car stops right by me and the guy driving (maybe about my age) starts talking to me in broken English. He was driving a nice car and didn't look scary so I didn't immediately run off. Also, I had been to the Temple earlier that day and had met a guy about my age there who spoke some English and for a minute I thought it was the same guy and that he had just seen me walking and stopped to say hi. But then I realized that it wasn't Temple guy and got a little freaked out but stayed calm because 1)Mace 2)daylight 3)guards with guns on the corner 4)I was wearing running shoes and wasn't carrying anything worth much on me. Here's basically our conversation...

Him: "Hi, how are jou?"

Me: "Hi?"

Him: "Where are from?"

Me: "Where am I from?"

Him: "Jes."

Me: "I am from the United States."

Him: "Oh! I am teaching English."

Me: "That's cool."

Him: "I want to talk to jou."

Me: "Oh, do you want to practice English?" (Totally oblivious to the fact that he's trying to ask me out)

Him: "No, I just want to talk to jou. Habe a conbersation wit jou."

Me: "A conversation about English?" (Still oblivious)

Him: "No, just to get to know jou. Are jou busy?"

Me: "Yes, I have plans right now, sorry."

Him: "I just want to take jou out, maybe buy jou something." (Oh, now I get it)

Me: "Sorry, I can't."

Him: "What about later?"

Me: "Sorry I have plans with my friends." (LIAR, LIAR pants on fire!)

Him: "I am enchanted with jou...I want to talk to you more."

Me: "Sorry, I've got to go."

'Enchanted with me so soon?' I thought to myself as I walked away. 'What was it that made you enchanted so quickly...my blond hair, the way that I walk, or the T-shirt I'm wearing that says TALK TO ME: I'M YOUR TICKET TO A GREEN CARD!?!'

Sometimes I feel like I might as well wear a T-shirt that says, "TALK TO ME...I'm your ticket to a GREEN CARD!," or something along those lines because the only men who ever ask me out, ask for my number, try and flirt with me, etc. all have one thing in common...they aren't US citizens and they probably want to be. Whether it's the Mexican janitor (who by the way has a WIFE back in Mexico) at work stalking me, a Turkish man in Munich giving me his number about 2 and one-half minutes after meeting him, or the guy full on grabbing my butt on the streets of Madrid... it seems like the only attention I get is attention I don't want. Now don't get me wrong...I don't have anything against foreigners AT ALL...I love people of all races, creeds, colors, blah, blah, blah...BUT I don't think it is too much to ask to be liked for who I am instead of for citizenship and money (because of course I'm filthy rich...isn't every American?)

So here's my open question to the world...Why can't American men (particularly Mormon American men) be just a little more like foreign men and why can't foreign men be just a little less forward? Where is the happy medium? That's all I have...just questions...no major conclusions or answers. Sorry.

BONUS Section:

So just yesterday I was walking in downtown Asuncion when a man who had to be over 60 maybe even pushing 70 calls out to me as I pass by. He was totally clean cut and was in a pretty normal looking and I was in a pretty nice part of town, once again packing mace, wearing my Diesel sneakers, and it was daylight so when he called out to me I was like, "Si" because he just said "Hola" and didn't make Chi chi chi sounds like I sometimes get from the creepy guys. So I stopped to see what he wanted. A lot of people stop us and just want to know what we're doing in Paraguay because North Americans don't normally just come to Paraguay for touristy reasons...there isn't much here to see or do. And that's what I thought he wanted...I mean this guy was seriously old. So he's like "Hola" and I'm like "Hi?" Then he asks me where I'm from and what I'm doing in Paraguay. So I said, "I'm just here teaching in an agricultural school." To which he replies, "So are you married, divorced, single?" I thought it was a valid question because I thought that maybe he was wondering if I had left a family back in the US or something (because most normal girls my age would be married with kids). So I answered him that I was single so he would know that no one would care that I was off living in some foreign country. And then he said, and I quote, "So when are you and I going to get together?" I laughed (thinking he can't be serious...he's old. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!) But right after I laughed he was like, "Why not?" So I stuttered..."Uh, because I have a boyfriend in the United States." Big time lie, but what was I supposed to say? I guess I should have called him a creep or something but he was so sincere. And then get this he says, "So what?...the United States is far away." So I just laughed and walked off thinking to myself 'SERIOUSLY, what's wrong with you people?' The end of the bonus section.