Are My Lights On?...I Don't Know, You Tell Me!

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE old people. I really do. I think that they are funny and cool and I can't wait to be one someday because then I can say anything I want about anyone as long as I follow it with "Bless his/her heart." Okay, now that we have that clear let me share with you what happened to me at the grocery store this evening. First of all, whenever I go the the Smiths by my house weird things happen...from the girl coming up to me in the freezer aisle pretending to be a robot, to the gay guy stopping me as I was leaving to frantically tell me that there was going to be a tornado and to hurry home(there wasn't by the way), to almost getting puked on by a little girl (luckily she made it into the big sand container for cigarettes out front because I hate puke).

Maybe it is just me with stores in general...I have been in Wal-mart twice and had to leave because they cleared the building because of a bomb threat...TWICE. I have also been in Albertsons and had to leave because the store started on fire. It is REALLY ANNOYING to have your cart full of what you need and then have to leave it. It really might be me, because I was also in a movie theater in Bangkok, Thailand once that started on fire.

So anyway, weird things happen to me all of the time. I love it though, as it makes my life fun and gives me something to blog about.

So as I was leaving Smith's this evening this old lady with hair dyed dark enough to stain your pillowcase, says to me "Mam, can you help me?" (Do I look like a mam? I hope not.) She didn't look too scary, even considering the uber dark hair, so I said "Sure, just let me put my groceries in my car real quick." The whole time thinking to myself "Please don't be a flat tire, please don't be a flat tire," as I don't know how to change a flat tire because I'm a horrible person who cheated on that assignment in Driver's Ed. So I go over to her and she says, "Are my lights on?" (phew, no flat tire) I said, "Are your lights on?...you mean your headlights, yeah, they are on." "Oh good," she replies. "I haven't driven at night for a long time and I couldn't tell if my lights were on." 'WOW,' I thought to myself. 'If you don't know whether or not your lights are on you have much bigger problems then just wondering if your lights are on or not...maybe you should retire from driving at night, or driving in general.' She was a nice little old lady though (even though I'm not really sure that her lights were all on, if you know what I mean) and thanked me for my help. I watched her drive away and then drove off in the OPPOSITE direction. The end.