Hoarding pickles and other sad things...

Are your parents driving you crazy?...because mine are.  Or at least they do sometimes.  

Like this past week for example.  I was getting ready to go to South America and on Wednesday I talked to my mom and asked her if there were any last minute things they wanted to add to the list of what I'm bringing them.  She said they'd think on it.  And I said, "well, will you think about it tonight or tomorrow morning and email me the list?  Because I'd like to get all of my errands done tomorrow." 

Thursday comes.  No list from my parents.  'I guess they don't need me to bring anything else,' I think and I head to town (town is what we country folk call the nearest "large" city). 


So, I get home later that evening and check my email and...there's the list...sent at 5 P.M. Thursday night.  What?  I just finished all my shopping!  


And people are probably saying, "Don't be such a complainer Becca.  I'm sure it  wasn't a big deal to just stop by the grocery store one more time before flying out."  


But what you don't understand is that quite often their lists include things that aren't easily found all at one grocery store.  Their lists of things usually take quite awhile to gather.  It is really a good thing I guess that I'm not employed full-time right now.  I have no idea where I'd find the time to take care of putting together all the "shipments" my parents receive.  


I think the thing on this last list that made me the most crazy was the request for Spitz brand cracked pepper sunflower seeds.  I mean I don't mind picking up some sunflower seeds, but when you specify the flavor and the brand you kind of make my life crazy!  


I went to three different grocery stores looking for them.  No luck.  In the end I discovered that the place to buy Spitz cracked pepper sunflower seeds is at gas stations...now I know.


Some other things on their list were Rootbeer barrels (where do you buy these...does anyone eat these? yuck!) and a box of Idaho Spud candy bars...and not everybody sells Idaho Spud candy bars these days.  


And really, to shift some of the blame, a lot of the buggy things my parents ask me to bring are not for them, but for missionaries and members.  But if someone says that they like something from the U.S. my parents (mostly my dad) love to be able to hook up them up.  Hence the last minute requests for what I think are weird things.  


My dad is sort of a people pleaser, and I guess so am I or I wouldn't do what I do.  


And my parents aren't really too horribly high maintenance...they don't make me feel bad if I'm not able to get all their errands done.  And they always tell me that if I don't have time that I don't need to worry about it.  But I do worry about it.  Because three years is a long time to go without some of your favorite things...milk, sour cream, berries, good American candy, Mexican food, peanut butter, Hershey's syrup, dill pickles, and the plethora of other good things that are not to be found in Northeastern Brazil.  So I don't blame them for wanting what they want.  Also, since I'm thinking there's a high chance that I will someday again live abroad, I guess I'm banking favors.  And boy do they owe me!


As a side note, we have a friend from Brazil who is attending BYU-Idaho.  Recently my parents had some other friends traveling from Fortaleza, Brazil to Idaho so they were able to bring the girl at BYU-Idaho a suitcase full of things from Brazil that she'd been missing.  Here's the conversation I had with my mom about that suitcase full of Brazilian loot.  


My mom: "OMH, you should have seen the things her parents sent her in that suitcase...dried beans, mix for cheese bread, those little potato chip slivers that Brazilians eat on top of everything.  Can you believe it?"


Me: "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, holy crappoly are you kidding me mom?...listen to yourself...do you want me to start listing all of the ridiculous things I've sent you in the last 2.5 years?"


My mom: nothing


I guess she didn't want me to start listing things.   


Anyway, to each his own I guess.  My parents have things they love and miss from America and Brazilians in America have things they love and miss from Brazil.  I guess you like what you're used to.  Although my brother Lee does try to convince every foreigner he meets that overall we have the best candy in the world.  And really, we do.  The Japanese have Hi-Chews, the Germans have Haribo, the Finnish have licorice, and Europe in general has chocolate, but overall, in my humble opinion, we do have the best variety and overall candy selection of any country in the world.  

Anyway, back to the point at hand.  In preparation for my trip I sent an email to my mom asking her if they had any dill pickles left or if she wanted me to bring another jar.  


She replied, "we have two left." 


To which I responded, "two jars of pickles or two pickles?"


And then she answered, "two pickles...and I ate a couple of slices off of one of them today."  


And that made me want to both laugh and cry...to imagine my parents huddled around their fridge, the glow from the refrigerator light making the scene seem extra sad and depressing, looking at those last two pickles bobbing in their brine and contemplating the day they'd eat them and the sadness and emptiness that would follow when they realized that there would then be nothing else to look forward to. 


So, I guess that's why I do what I do...why I let myself be driven crazy...to keep those depressing pickle hoarding moments out of my mind and off of my conscience.  


Oh, and since I titled this post "Hoarding pickles and other sad things," I guess I'd better think of some other sad things.  


people with really bad/missing teeth
little kids having to sell stuff in the streets
people with missing limbs
babies having their faces licked by dogs
etc.


Those things all make me sad.  


What makes you sad?
What things would you have a hard time living without if you lived in another country?
What do your parents do that drives you crazy?


Yes, I am begging for comments.  I might as well just come out and say it.  


Later leeches...

To whom it may concern in the mall parking lot...

If you drive a 15 seater van (the angle I took the picture from makes this van look small, but it wasn't, it was ginormous!)...

and you are in a situation in life that allows you to legitimately park in the Expectant Mothers' parking spot...

you may want to re-evaluate your family planning strategy.  

Just saying...

A Major Career Crisis

I think maybe I'm starting to figure out some of my problems.  Maybe that's what the 30's are for...to figure out what's wrong with you.  


As far as I can tell, the breakdown of the decades of life go as follows (at least as I have experienced them thus far)...


The Single Digit Years:
Easy sailing.  You don't have much control over how much candy you can eat or what time you have to go to bed, but you don't usually have problems yet either.  The major crisis in your life is that your brothers depantsed all your Cabbage Patch Kids and toilet-papered your bedroom.  You just coast along...not a care or worry in the world...unless of course you are homeless, or super poor, or abused, or an orphan, but those are all exceptions to the rule.  Most kids have a super sweet life.  Seriously.  If I could go back to being a kid, I wouldn't complain at all. 


The Pre-teen and Teenage Years:
You have problems but you don't have a clue that you have problems...(or if you do have a sneaking suspicion that you might be flawed, you wouldn't admit it for anything).  You instead think that everyone else is the problem.  For example, you might have a complete meltdown minutes before you need to leave to go to school because you don't know what to wear.  And it's not your fault...no, of course not.  It's your mom's fault for not helping you pick out what to wear the night before, or the stores' fault for not selling clothes you like, or your brother's fault for taking too long in the bathroom and now you don't have enough time to decide what to wear, etc., etc.  But it's not your fault.  Because you don't have any problems.  You're perfect.  


The Twenties:
You have problems.  You know you do.  But you don't know what your problems are.  You spend a lot of time trying to "find yourself" or "figure yourself out."  You know that everyone is flawed and that you must be especially flawed.  Now, if you can just get to the root of your problems you can fix everything and everyone will love you and the world will be fabulous.  But you don't figure out much and spend a decade basically in confusion.  


The Thirties (so far):
You start to see what your problems are..."Oh, that's why I'm messed up," you might say to yourself.  "Oh, that's why I'm like that..."  "Oh, that's what's wrong with me...now what?"  You start to clearly understand your issues but you don't know how to fix them.  A little clarity is nice, but the thirties might be equally as frustrating as as the "Finding Yourself Twenties."  


So that's where I'm at right now.  I'm really hoping that the 40's are when you figure out how to solve some or all of your problems, and then you do solve them, so that you can sit back and enjoy whatever other decades you have left to live.  Or maybe you just give up on fixing yourself by then.  Maybe you just decide not to care anymore.  I'll keep you posted on that when I get to 40.  


But anyway, since I'm now in my 30's (the part of life when you figure yourself out), I'm starting to understand why I'm in the middle of a major career crisis.  In fact, a couple of months ago I had a major moment of enlightenment.  


I was just sitting there thinking to myself, 'Aaaaaaaaaaaah what in the h is wrong with me...why don't I know what to do with my life?...Why am I 31 and don't have a freaking clue what I want to do for a career?...Why can't I think of any realistic occupation that I can do for the next 36 years?...And why, when I think of the next 36 years do I want to curl up in a ball and let myself be eaten alive by wild dogs?...Why am I in this major career crisis?...I don't mind working, but I want to do something that is meaningful to me and something that interests me and something that makes me a decent amount of money...Why can't I figure out what that could be?....What is wrong with me?...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!'


That is seriously dialogue, between myself and my brain, taken straight out of my head.  


Yeah, I know I'm a little messed.  


But anyway, after that little conversation with myself, the answer just hit me...all of a sudden.


And the answer is, that of course I am in the middle of a major career crisis...because I was never programmed to be a career woman...I didn't plan for Plan B...I didn't think that a career would need to be part of my life.  


Oh, and just for the record let me just say here and now that I don't blame my parents, or mutual leaders, or "The Church," or society, or anyone else for this little programming glitch of mine...but it's just what I somehow came to believe, whether or not anyone intended to teach it to me.  


And here's really the problem...I grew up thinking that for nice little LDS girls:
Education=Good 
and
Career=Bad


And that, readers, is why I'm a 31 year-old Mormon spinster with seven and a half...yes, 7.5 years, of post high school education (or three college degrees) and not much more of a clue of what to do with my life then I had at age 18.  


Messed up...so messed up.  


And I know I'm not the only one of my generation who ended up like this...I know of so many single girls...wonderful, talented, intelligent girls who, just like me, don't know what to do with their lives.  And, it's not like we've just been sitting around waiting for marriage to save us...we've gained an education, and have traveled, and have served, and have done our best to move forward...but now what?  We never planned on actually needing a career.  In fact, we tried not to get too career oriented...we tried not to lose focus on the hope of having a family.


And I know bucket loads of married women who would be in serious trouble if someday their husband left them, or died, or became disabled, or lost his job, etc., because they wouldn't know how to support themselves either...they don't have a career plan...and luckily right now they might not need a career...but they might someday, and they, too, are unprepared.  


I envy the "career girls"...the ones who knew what they wanted to do and just went for it.  Because now those girls, who people said were "focused on the wrong things," are either working in awesome careers or are stay at home moms with a fantastic back-up plan in place.  


And here's the thing...you can't just get an education without planning for a career...because jobs and careers are so different.  Jobs help you out when you're in college, or bring in some income while your hubby goes to school, or get you by for a few years when times are tough, or bring in some cash on the side to help pay for Christmas or family vacations...but jobs can't give you the long term security, good health benefits, and substantial retirement that a sole provider needs.  A sole provider needs a career.  


Anyway, my problem is that I enjoy doing a lot of things some of the time...I just don't know what I would enjoy doing all of the time.  And, it's not just figuring out what I'd enjoy...there's also this pressure as a single woman to have a career that is either 1)very lucrative or 2)super meaningful.  Because you don't have a husband and kids...so the only way to prove that you are a worthwhile human being is to have an awesome career.  And that makes things even harder...figuring out what you really want to do while at the same time having this nagging feeling that you've got to do something really fantastic with your life.  


Anyway, if I could go back and talk to 14 year-old Becca today I'd tell her, "Becca, plan for a career...absolutely plan for a career...not as some sad Plan B, but as a plan for reality, a Plan A.  Prepare yourself to do something you love...something you could do 40+ hours a week for 40+ years...something that would make enough money to support yourself.  Find that thing you love to do and find it early.  Then prepare yourself to make it your career...prepare yourself mentally for a life in the working world.  Work hard in school, not just for the grade or degree (like I did), but work hard to prepare yourself to enter the workforce.  Make connections with professors, do internships, and think about how your education will help you in your career.  Don't just get an education to get an education.  Have a career plan, and stick to your plan.  And then, if you get lucky and marriage and children interrupt your plans to work, no worries...you'll always have that education and career as a back-up."


"Oh, and 14 year-old Becca, stop wearing those over-sized Shaquille O'Neal t-shirts.  They make you look like a lesbian."


That's what 31 year-old Becca would tell 14 year-old Becca.  


I think that maybe...hopefully...the girls who are 14 now are being better prepared for the future.  I hope, and pray, and think, that they are. 


I don't understand why many people my age were taught that having a career was the exception to the rule.  Because it's not and hasn't been for a long, long time.  Look around you.  How many women can you think of who have never had to work full-time outside of the home...who have never had the burden of being the sole provider...even for a time.  


I can't think of very many.  


Anyway, so here I am.  I'm 31 and now need to completely re-evaluate and re-plan my life.  I have to do some major backpedaling.  I have to figure out what I can do, starting now, to get through my major career crisis.  I can't look back.  I can't say "I wish I would have known then what I know now."  I can't think about what I would have done differently.  I can't think about all the career options that are now out of my reach.  I just have to figure out what to do from here on out.  And I'm working on it.  So please leave me be.  


Anyway, blah, blah, blah, the end.


I should write for a magazine (but not the Reader's Digest), instead of on a blog, because I write too much.  Oh well. 

Year-End Summary 2010*

alcohol units consumed: 0 (excellent)

cigarettes: 0 (v.g.)

pounds lost:

pounds gained: infinite

countries visited: 22 (good)

countries visited for the first time: 15

time spent abroad: 5 months (not too shabby)

blog posts: 62 (v.g.)

nephews born: 1, and he's perfect

prison stays: 0

marriage proposals: 1 

Overall 2010 was a pretty decent year.  I visited lots of new places, tried out solo traveling, steered clear of all alcohol and tobacco consumption, became a first time aunt, and even got proposed to...although I'm not sure a Vietnamese guy on a night train from Copenhagen to Berlin (who had a big black eye from a recent bar fight) counts...but I thought I'd mention it anyway.  

January: A fantastic start to the new year.  January 13th brought the birth of my darling little nephew Mitchell.  He has brought so much joy to me this year.  I love seeing him grow and learn and if I'm in a rotten mood, as I sometimes am, all I have to do is see his adorable, little, smiling face and my cold, hard heart melts and I'm a happy person again.   

January also brought a most excellent trip to the Dominican Republic with my book club friends. 

February & March:  Spent the majority of these two months in Brazil and Argentina.  I saw the Amazon for the first time, spent some time with my parents, and traveled back to my mission as well as to other parts of Argentina and Brazil with spinster friends.

April: Spent the beginning of the month hanging out with family in Idaho and the end of the month in Europe...specifically England and Turkey.

May: Spent the entire month in Europe and visited: the Isle of Man, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Denmark, Germany, Switzerland, France, Luxembourg, Austria, and Slovakia.  

June: Added Slovenia, Italy, Liechtenstein, and the Vatican City to my list of places I've been.  Then I returned to the US of A for my cousin Alison's wedding and a few weeks spent with family. 

July: Enjoyed a fantastic 4th of July with family in Idaho before flying out to Brazil a few days later.  Spent the rest of the month in Brazil with my parents.

August: Flew from Brazil to Bolivia and spent three weeks roughing it in Bolivia while working on humanitarian projects and sightseeing.  Turned 31...which surprisingly wasn't as bad as turning 30.  I guess there isn't too much of a difference between being a 30 year-old tragic Mormon spinster and a 31 year-old one.  

September: Spent a couple of weeks in Idaho and then flew to California for a visit with friends in Northern California, followed by a solo tour of the California coast.  

October, November, & December:  Stayed pretty much grounded.  Lived in Idaho with my grandma while working at Mini Bazaar and tutoring hilarious 6th graders.  

Overall, not a bad year...especially for a 31 year-old tragic Mormon spinster, with a bottom the size of two bowling balls, suffering a major career crisis.  

Hopefully next year will be even better...or at least as good.

Happy New Year everyone!

*You really must watch Bridget Jones's Diary I and II to fully enjoy my year-end summaries and many other posts.  I own them both in edited form if anyone ever wants to have a BJD party.

Hallelujah,

Praise be!

Only six months left.  

I think I can make it. 

I'm ready for shopping with my mom.

and for drift-busting with my dad.

I'm ready to have my whole family together again.

I'm ready for holidays and every-days.

I'm ready to not have to spend a ton of money every time I want to see my parents.

I'm ready to be done sending packages and "shipments" to Brazil.

I'm ready for life to be back to normal.

I like normal (mostly).

Not to be a big whine-bag or anything, but the past two and a half years haven't been my favorite years.  In fact, they've maybe been my least favorite...other than the sixth grade.  I hated the sixth grade.  It sucked.

But before we know it my parents will be home.  And it will be so nice to have them back.  I think (and hope) that the next six months will fly by.  

I think that maybe my parents have been in Brazil too long...I know for sure that my mom has been the mission nurse for too long...she's turning into a bit of a hypochondriac.  Today I coughed while talking to her on the phone...just one innocent, little, short, normal cough.  

And she says to me.."Do you have Tuberculosis?" 

Me: "No, why?"

Her: "Because you always cough at least once when I talk to you on the phone...have you been tested?" 

Me: "Yes MOM, I have been tested, several times...(post-mission test plus mandatory yearly testing for healthcare workers)...I'm TB free."

Her: "Oh, okay."

Anyway, I do realize that I haven't yet blogged my 2010 Year-end Summary.  I will...don't you worry.  I've just been super busy this past week keeping a posse of Brazilian house-guests entertained, fed, and transported.  

But now they're gone and the party is over and it's time to get back to my blogging duties...and to clean, and do laundry, and exercise, and get some sleep!


So stay tuned for more blogging soon...

"Happy Holidays"...

is what terrorists say. 

So I'll just say "Merry Christmas" instead. 

Christmas 1988...I think.  Back when Christmases were mind-blowingly awesome...and so were homemade sweatpants.   

I hope everyone is having/has had a fantastic Christmas!
Love,
me

Kid History II

This is for all of you who liked Kid History Part I.  Lee found Kid History Part II tonight.  So here it is...

I think I liked the first one better...it seemed a little less scripted...but this is still pretty dang funny (as far as I'm concerned) and well worth your time...unless you are an apostle or heart surgeon.  

And...if you're an apostle AND heart surgeon then it really isn't worth your time.  That's right E. Nelson...if you're one of my blog leeches, you can just skip this post.  But be a champ and leave me a comment sometime...okay?  

Anyway, for all of you normal people out there, it's well worth watching.  

I think my favorite parts are the licking the loogie off the hand part and John's wheezy laugh at the end.  

I hope these guys can come up with more stories to tell.  

Enjoy!