Where should I go for the big 30?

So, as my loyal blog fans and buggy blog leeches know, I'm turning the big 30 this August.

I always told myself that if I was still single at 30 I'd buy myself some Bling-bling if you know what I mean. But as that date is fast approaching and I find myself in a very single state of being I don't really want any bling.

First of all, I don't need to draw any attention to my man hands with bling and second of all I just don't want to buy into the whole De Beers diamond marketing ploy. Thirdly I'd rather spend the money on something more fun like a trip and fourth of all I still haven't given up ALL hope (not for another year or two) that someday someone else (hopefully a half normal, straight, employed or seeking higher education, English-speaking, Mormon male) may want to buy me a little left handed bling if you know what I mean.

So, a trip it is. But I don't know where to go for sure. That's where blog fans and leeches who would like to come out of the leech closet come in. Let me know where you think I should go to celebrate my birthday this year.

The only real requirements I have for this birthday trip is that it be to a foreign country that I have never visited before, that it is a place that is good to visit in August because I want to actually be there on my exact birthday, and that it isn't too incredibly expensive so that I can convince somebody to go with me or if it is expensive that it is safe enough that I'll be okay travelling there alone.

Since the place I go for my birthday has to be somewhere new, here's an updated list of the countries I have already visited so you know which ones not to suggest.

*USA(born and raised) *Australia *Canada(2 times) *United Kingdom(3 times) *Ireland *Israel *Jordan *Egypt *Argentina(2 times) *China/Hong Kong *Guatemala(4 times) *Honduras *Mexico(3 times)*Uruguay *Chile *Peru *Holland(2 times) *Germany *Austria *Czech Republic *Thailand *France(2 times) *Hungary *Slovakia *Poland *Ukraine *Belgium *Ethiopia*Kenya*Portugal*Spain*Morocco

*Paraguay*Brazil (3 times)*Costa Rica*Belize(2 times)*

So take a look at the map and suggest somewhere fun for me to celebrate my 30th birthday. If you are the FIRST person to suggest the country where I end up going, I'll bring you back something special from that place. So suggest away...

May 1st...A day to remember...

First of all I have no idea what "quakin' in your boots" from the above picture means. I hope it isn't anything bad. My trusty friend the Urban Dictionary was of no help to me so I apologize ahead of time if it means something nasty to any of you. And if it does, just know that I have no clue...but you should all know that by now. But, I wanted to use it because I thought it was a cool picture and that it raises a good question...WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD NO FEAR? It is kind of an interesting thing to think about. If you seriously had NO fear what would life be like? There really are only three main things in life that I am deathly afraid of... Fear #1: Being found dead, fat and alone, and half eaten by wild dogs. Or dying in my bed and having no one notice that I was gone for so long that I melt (at least partially) into my mattress. I know that this fear sounds crazy but when you are a singleton you think about these kinds of things. Fear #2: Getting killed and chopped into little pieces by a serial killer or by Sasquatch. How can anyone normal not fear this??? and last of all but perhaps my greatest fear ever is... Fear #3: Large bodies of water and all that large bodies of water entail...including: sharks, drowning, finding a bloated dead person in the water, etc, etc. The only real nightmares I had as a kid that I remember all involved the ocean or some big lake. And although my fear may be natural born I would like to take this opportunity to publicly and personally thank my brothers and male cousins for reinforcing my natural fear by constantly tormenting me, grabbing my ankles, and telling me that there were piranhas, sharks, and/or snakes in the water any time we went swimming in a lake as kids. So, because I'm turning the big 30 this summer (which marks the beginning of the end for me) I decided that it was time to try and conquer some of my fears. Because what if I live my whole life and never experience some things just because I am afraid? What if I miss out on super cool stuff? Or what if I die, knowing deep inside that I was a total unadventurous wimp? And since as long as I'm single I can't do much about fear #1 and as long as there are serial killers and Sasquatch in the world I can't do much about #2, I figured that the best place to start was fear #3. And so, on May 1st, 2009 I went to my first SCUBA diving certification class. (I'll tell you more about those classes in future posts because even just taking the class is quite traumatic for me and I'm sure there will be things to share about the class.) But may I just say that for those of you lucky enough to not have fear #3 you may not understand why just taking a SCUBA class would be a big deal. But it is a huge deal for me...it is a step in the right direction to overcoming or at least suppressing my greatest fear. And just taking the class means that I will actually have to SCUBA dive in a large body of water. Great, what was I thinking? Now don't start thinking I'm a wimp...I have been skydiving, I did live in a house with 45 frogs, giant spiders and snakes this past summer, I have been to Africa 3 times, I love roller coasters and crazy scary rides, I've been spelunking in some pretty tight places and haven't freaked out, I'm not afraid of flying, etc., etc. BUT...Fear #3 makes me fear and tremble just thinking about it. So, wish me luck as I scare the living $#!% out of myself by getting SCUBA certified and leave a comment and let me know...What would you do if you had NO fear?

Oops!

So today I had to put my foot in my mouth. This isn't an uncommon occurrence since I often say stupid things due to a little faulty brain wiring. Don't worry...it wasn't as bad as asking a woman when she's due to deliver her baby when she isn't even pregnant or anything. But here's what I said... So, I'm at my cousin David's wedding this weekend and was going through the line at their reception. When I got to Dave and his new wife Liz I gave them a hug and congratulated them. But then that was done and the people in front of me in line weren't moving on. Great. What else can you say to a newly married couple besides congratulations?...especially when you just have a minute and don't have time to get into a real conversation. So I said, "Where are you guys going on your honeymoon...or is it a big secret?" Dave smiles and replies, "Wisconsin." So I start laughing and say, "Haaaaaaaaaaa that's hilarious...what are you guys going to do there...tour a cheese factory or something?" They just laughed back and then the line started to move again and I moved on and I thought to myself, 'well, I guess I'll have to ask someone else where they are really going.' So a few minutes later I asked one of Dave's siblings and guess what?...they are going to Wisconsin on their honeymoon. I guess that's where Dave's new wife is from and so they're going out there for the open house/honeymoon combo. ANYWAY, in my defense, David was smiling and half laughing when he told me they were going to Wisconsin on their honeymoon which made me think it was a little joke and secondly, WHO GOES TO WISCONSIN ON THEIR HONEYMOON ANYWAY? SERIOUSLY.

My blessed nomadic life...

Just for all of you who were worried about me using up all my savings moving a million times and losing sleep over it...probably just my MOM...I just wanted to say that after I wrote my post complaining about the high cost of being a nomad,that things started looking up for me a little. First of all my nice Aunt Ellen offered (well actually her daughter Lucy offered for her) to drive her pickup down to Utah when she comes next weekend and help me move then. Unfortunately, I have to be up in Idaho by the 1st of May (details on why I have to be in Idaho by May 1st coming soon...) and so that didn't quite work out. But then, I decided to call one last rental place and found a truck I could rent that should only end up costing me about 200 bucks...which is much better than 350. But, this place only had a 16 foot truck and not a 10 foot truck (which is all I really needed). So now I have to drive this huge moving van to Idaho today and back tomorrow. It's too bad I don't know anyone who needed to move something from Idaho to Utah tomorrow since I'll be coming back with an empty truck. What a waste! Someone should start a website where you can share moving trucks or something. Anyway, I'm a little scared to drive a moving truck for 8 hours in the next day but what else do you do as a nomadic spinster? So wish me luck for the drive!

Family...

Here is a direct transcript from phone conversations with my brothers earlier today when I called them asking them for their social security numbers so they can be beneficiaries on my IRA accounts. Me: "Tyler I need your social security number." Tyler: "Why?" Me: "So I can steal your identity." Tyler: silence Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?" Tyler: "Well are you planning on dying anytime soon?" A few minutes later I called Russell... Me: "Russell, I need your social security number." Russell: "Why?" Me: "So I can steal your identity." (thought I'd try it out one more time) Russell: Silence (dang, my joke didn't work again) Me: "No, really, I'm setting up my IRA and need your SS # so I can list you as a beneficiary...you do want to be a beneficiary, right?" Russell: "Well have you been feeling sick lately?" Me: "No, I'm just setting up my account and you have to plan for sickness and death ahead of time." Russell: "Oh." Me: "So can I get your SS #?" Russell: "Well how secure is the website?" Me: "I don't know...secure I'm sure. Do you want to be a beneficiary or not?" Russell: "Sure." Little do they know that my mom has a 3 by 5 card at her house in Idaho with all of our SS numbers written on it. I just haven't been able to get a hold of Lee yet to get those numbers from him. So I decided to just call my parents in Brazil to get theirs. Here's how that conversation went... Me: "Dad, I need your social security number." Dad: "I can't give that out...what for...how do I really know that this is you on the phone?" Me: "It is for my IRA account beneficiaries..." and then before I could even finish explaining my dad excitedly starts in with his SS #... Dad: " 519-**-****." So at least once my dad knew it had to do with being a beneficiary he gave me his number. Then he hands the phone to my mom. Me: "Mom, no one in this family trusts me!" Mom: "Well, you should have called me...I would have given you my social security number plus all my account passwords." (This is because we always tease my mom about how NOT careful she is with information like that.) Little does she know that I already know all her passwords but at least it is good to know that someone in my family trusts me and doesn't want me dead. And as far as Lee goes...he still won't answer my phone calls so I guess no money for him! He'll learn to answer when I call...

The dark side of life as a nomad...

Nomad: A person who wanders from place to place.

AKA: a transient, hobo, wanderer, vagabond, wayfarer(as in poor, with grief), and vagrant.

Yup, that's me. I'm on the move again.

I've lost track of how many times I've moved in the past year...especially if you count my temporary moves. In May of 2008 I sold my beloved house and moved all my stuff up to my parents' house in Idaho and then "moved in" with my Aunt Jenny for a few weeks. Then I stayed at my parents' house in Idaho for a few weeks then I was back to Jenny's for a few days. Then I moved my life to Paraguay for five weeks and then visited my parents in Brazil for two weeks. Then I flew back from Brazil on a Sunday and the next day moved into a place in Salt Lake that I had never seen living with people I had never met. That went well until our lease was up and none of us wanted to resign so we decided to all go our separate ways. So about four days after returning from Christmas in Brazil, I moved again. This time it was into a storage unit...well my stuff anyway. Then I spent the next few weeks at hotels, in Belize, and at my wonderful friend Rachel's house. And then I moved into another random house with more random people...

And that's where I have VERY STABLEABLY (not a real word) lived for 3 whole months!

But since I'll be out of the country for the majority of the summer and I don't have anything tying me to Utah right now, I figure that I might as well not be flushing my savings down the toilet in the form of rent. So my cute little grandma has said that I can move in with her for the summer so I'll have a home base in between my summer travels. And I'm excited to get to spend some time with my grandma and to get to eat her yummy cooking and to live in Idaho...even if it is just for a few weeks.

Oh, and if anyone else wants me to pop in for a visit this summer I'd be glad to. Maybe I could see how many different places I could spent a night at this summer and then blog about who was the best host/hostess. Maybe I'll even make a prize for the winner. I'm already planning on spending some QUALITY time with my cousins Geri, Bobbi, and Audrey. I can't wait to taste your cooking! JK JK JK!

Oh, but now to the whole point of this post which is... THE DARK SIDE OF LIFE AS A NOMAD. Really, I haven't minded the nomadic life overall. Although stressful at times it can also be exciting and carefree. And since I will most likely be a vagrant until my dad gets back from Brazil to build me a house in ID in 2011(SAD), I had better learn to love this lifestyle and I really do.

But here's the one dark side I didn't really ever consider and that is...life as a vagabond is EXPENSIVE. The moving vans, the gasoline, the thank you gifts to moving helpers, etc. It really adds up!

And right now I only really have a bed and a dresser to move from Utah to Idaho and it's going to cost me 350 bucks probably! Poopy. What should I do...just chuck my mattress on the side of the freeway and forget about it? Or I could sell my bed, but who wants some stranger's mattress even if it is 100% PEE STAIN FREE? Or I could store it down here in Utah but a storage unit isn't cheap plus I'd have to rent a truck to get it to and from the storage unit. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And this, kids, is why you shouldn't be a wanderer.

Oh, and P.S., it is really crappy when your parents are on a mission and you no longer have access to your dad's pickup truck anytime you want. I will never take my parents or their pickup for granted again, never.

So, here's what I think I've finally decided to do. Bite the bullet and flush the 350 or so down the drain and move my bed and dresser to Ideeho. But then once I move it up there it is staying and no matter how long I live as a nomad, even when I come back to Utah in the Fall for school, I'm sleeping on a camping mattress on the floor of wherever I live. And I won't even care what my roommates think of me. Real nomads sleep on the floor anyway.

The end.

BFFs

Obama and Chavez...Best Friends Forever! We might as well start buddying up to our Socialist neighbors...that way when we get fully there in a few years we'll already have friends just like us! Yay for reaching out!