my brothers will want to know what I want for Christmas.
They usually don't start asking that question until about December 23ish. But I thought I'd give them a little head start this year.
And really, I'm super easy to buy for. I like and want most things. So instead of listing everything that I might like to receive for Christmas I thought instead that I'd just mention a few things that I hope not to receive this year.
A lot of what I'm posting is Mormon artwork. I'm not a huge fan of most Mormon artwork. I'm pretty picky I guess. I just like the normal stuff.
Same with Mormon music...I don't like a lot of it. That Dairyman's Daughter song from the 90's almost ruined my fragile teenage testimony. Really any Michael McLean music scares me. And some of the following artwork does too, so please don't buy me any of it for Christmas. Thank you.
They usually don't start asking that question until about December 23ish. But I thought I'd give them a little head start this year.
And really, I'm super easy to buy for. I like and want most things. So instead of listing everything that I might like to receive for Christmas I thought instead that I'd just mention a few things that I hope not to receive this year.
A lot of what I'm posting is Mormon artwork. I'm not a huge fan of most Mormon artwork. I'm pretty picky I guess. I just like the normal stuff.
Same with Mormon music...I don't like a lot of it. That Dairyman's Daughter song from the 90's almost ruined my fragile teenage testimony. Really any Michael McLean music scares me. And some of the following artwork does too, so please don't buy me any of it for Christmas. Thank you.
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| Jesus passing the Sacrament while zombie baby approaches |
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| Jesus signing "I love you"(1) |
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| Jesus helping with scripture study |
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| Jesus reflecting in your 1970's mirror-covered closet doors |
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| Jesus suiting up the sister missionary |
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| Jesus and the black kid in a wheelchair dressed in a baptismal jumpsuit (2) |
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| Babies see Jesus everywhere |
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| Jesus presents the Constitution while Abraham Lincoln performs in a barbershop quartet and really random people from the past (like that lady who blew up in the Challenger space shuttle) look on |
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| Nazareth High School Class of 18 A.D. (3) |
Footnotes
[1] If you, or one of your children, are deaf, I won't think it's weird if you own this picture.
[2] If you are black AND wheelchair bound, owning this picture might be okay, but, according to the most recent church statistics, there are only four black kids in wheelchairs in the church and I doubt you're one of them.
[3] This isn’t that freaky of a picture I suppose, but for some reason a smiling Jesus just sort of scares me and I don't know why.
Other things I hope not to find under the tree this year...
This wall vase. Freaky.
Spray-on hair filler. Because the last thing I need during a snowstorm is to have spray-paint running down my neck.
Pajama jeans
And avoid Snuggies in all their forms...
the Gangsta Snuggie...
the Babysitter Snuggie...
the Alien Snuggie...
and the Sport Snuggie.
And please please please don't buy me...
a steak brander...
or fetus cookie cutters.
Because that's just creepy.
Thank you.
What are you hoping not to get for Christmas this year?
12 comments:
So does this mean Jesus is the opposite of a vampire? He only appears in mirrors?
I totally need to start paying attention in Gospel Doctrine.
Yeah Kim, duh.
You do need to pay better attention in Sunday School!
Your post was:
Somewhat irreverent? Probably.
A little unfeeling? Possibly.
Funny? Without a doubt.
At least it was to me, but then, I might be partially to blame for your warped outlook. I refuse to take the blame for all of it though.
I think the babysitter snuggie could also be called the Kanga Snuggie or the LaLeche Snuggie.
I bet the marketers for that would love to get their hands on the list of customers that bought the fetus cookie cutter.
Oh, and I don't want a Richard Simmons exercise video or anything with Sponge Bob on it.
I know something you do need after today....snow boots. (not rain boots) :)
I don't want any of those things either. I think I will settle for an updated ipod. 8 gig just filled up fast.
that fetus cookie cutter is forever burned into my memory. not a good thing. i cant imagine any cookie looking appetizing in the shape of that. yuck.
You know you pretty much guaranteed that you will get one of these things for Christmas.
And....when we moved into our house in Alabama we found that hair spray stuff in one of the bathrooms. Gross.
And....I laughed out loud when I saw the baby hole snuggie or the woman giving birth from her boobs snuggie. Disturbing.
Wow. Where do you find this stuff? I second the "Disturbing" comment.
These are HI-larious. I haven't read your blog in a while but after reading a few posts I realize I'm missing out on some precious little gems of knowledge. Good stuff!
I'm late in getting to you on this one too...but Taylor and I LAUGHED out loud at this one. We LOVED the artwork...but we've had this conversation before!! I was happy to see the year-book picture! LOL. Merry Christmas Becca!
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