You know...those little vending machines that appear in every grocery store, doctor's office, mall, small business and anywhere else that bored children and their desperate mothers/caretakers may be found.
You know...the machines where you can find those clear plastic cases with brightly colored lids that contain things like: fake tattoos, giant gumballs, fake facial hair, sticker earrings, knockoff Silly Putty, little pills that turn into towels or sponges when soaked in water, parachute men, things that spin, things that swim, bouncy balls, and one of my favorites...those sticky hand shaped things that you can use to: flip in your brother's face, pick papers up off the ground, get the windows in the car really dirty, and annoy your mother.
Anyway, I don't know what these little vending machines are actually called because I've always called them "poop* machines" because my mom one time (after a long day of shopping with us kids) said: (after we asked her for some money for probably the hundredth time to buy one of those treasured prizes contained in the little vending machines)
"If they sold little balls of horse poop* in those things, you kids would want one...as long as it came in that little container with the colored lid!"
And sadly, she was probably right.
And ever since we've referred to them as "poop* machines."
What, you may ask, made me think of poop machines?
Well, last week my cousin Audrey called me to see if I could come keep an eye on her kids while she was at the doctor's office.
Right when we walked into the doctor's office I spotted a poop machine over in the corner by the kids play area...which by the way really didn't have any toys for the kids to play with. I guess it is just an area to quarantine kids in. They did have a movie playing, but that's about it. I guess they want to sell some things from their poop machine.
When I saw the poop machine I instantly knew that Dawson and Cole would want to buy something from the machine...any normal kid would. And secretly, I think I wanted them to ask me if they could...probably because I actually think that some of the things they sell in the machines are really funny...and maybe because of some deep-seated need to still rebel against my mother and her wishes. Sorry mom.
But, being the adult that I am (or that I should be)...I didn't say, "Hey kids, let's buy some stuff from that machine over there." I waited patiently and sure enough, a few minutes later I saw little Cole over there trying to buy something with three pennies he had in his pocket, and that's when I felt it was okay to go over and give them each a quarter.
So, if you have a strong hate for poop machines and the prizes found therein...don't ever have me watch your kids...because I still think they are pretty cool and will probably give your kids money to buy stuff from them.
I mean, for 25 cents, we bought a mustache that entertained Cole and Dawson for at least 15 minutes. And then Cole put his three pennies in the little plastic case, which made a perfect little rattle to entertain Mia. (Don't worry, I was watching her VERY carefully to make sure she didn't try to eat the pennies.)
I secretly believe that all adults think that poop machine prizes are kind of cool but that they feel some need, as adults, to disapprove...I guess just to keep kids thinking that we're in charge.
So, let your inner kid out...and support your local poop machine this weekend. You'll be surprised how fun a fake mustache can be.
*"Poop" should actually be replaced with a much stronger word, but due to my mom's current missionary status and my desire to keep my blog somewhat clean, I have used the word "poop" instead.
13 comments:
The only thing I can say in my defense is, just wait til you're a mom.
That wonderful tribute almost made me choke up. No, that's not quite true. That wonderful tribute almost made me want to choke YOU.
Oh, and I was going to send you an Easter present, but you've been such a little poop*, I think I'll just send you a quarter.
*refer to above post for asterisk explanation
Audrey appreciated your help that night so much. She called me at 11pm to tell me about it. She was impressed with all of your skills with her kids.
My first thought when I saw the title was that you were going to be writing about having to change A LOT of icky diapers while you were watching your nephew.(I tend to think of little babies as "poop machines") Now I'll be thinking of those vending machines in a whole new light.
Haaaaaaaaaaa I didn't even think of that Becky! I guess I shouldn't have put the two posts back to back.
I've never heard those machines referred to as that...but from now on, will think of that!
Hey, so I forgot to ask...where did you get the darling idea for the Hens/Chicks suckers that you put together? They were darling and good. I don't know if I took the chance to tell you that there that night. PLUS...I LOVE your games, so please keep putting them together. We always get to know more about each other than we bargain for, but that's what makes it so fun!! Thanks!! (You're probably wondering why all the comments all of a sudden...sorry, I've mooched quite a bit lately, and Taylor just had to leave to help someone with their power, so I have a few minutes to leave my thoughts!!) Happy Easter!
No mention was made of what Dawson got for his quarter. It must not have been as awesome as the fake mustache.
Dawson bought some thing that you put in water and it swims or something. We didn't have any water so he had to take it home to play with later. That's why both he and Cole were playing with the mustache.
I feel like I have not commented in awhile.
And now I have.
Done.
Becca, my mom is right, I was soooooooo grateful for you being able and willing to help a sista out! I know it sounds lame but when I pulled up to the Doc office (feeling like s#!@#!) I was about to bust into tears til I dialed your number. The thought of taking 3 little nuggets into my appointment with me was more than I could bare!
So from the bottom of my heart... THANKS again! Oh and thanks for the night run to Walgreens too! My finger is healed cuz of that cream!
OH and will you tell Russell hi from Dr. Mike (?)
Oh one last thing... I think I owe you $.50! I need to ask Daws where is at, I have never seen it!
No Audrey, the poop machine prizes were my treat. I may be unemployed but I can still come up with 50 cents.
Now, normally I stay in semi-leech status on your blog- but considering we dished out some change for these dynamo machines just hours ago, I must speak up.
The kids got sweet stuff: a ring that *world record* hasn't broke yet & a sweet purple die, (dice? If there is only one, what do you call it?).
And bonus- the "gold" on the ring was only already slightly worn off when she opened it up.
i saw a poop machine at the most random place the other day, i cannot even for the life of me remember where, but i died laughing. all i could say to explain my laughter to my confused husband was, "you need to read becca's blog." i couldn't explain the *poop machine to john, especially because he'd cringe when i used the real word.
while i'm on the subject and feeling verbose, there is a furniture store down here in Provo called "Furnish It". they needed a little help before their website went public. it is furnishit.com read that fast and see why john hates when i swear.
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