With our economy down in the dumps lately, I can't help but feel like an American hero when I spend money. Like I'm taking one for the team every time I grab my American Express. Does anyone else feel that way?
Especially when I make a bigger purchase (not just groceries and gas but something a little more like a camera, clothes, plane ticket, etc.) I feel like such a little hero (well heroine I guess).
Here's how it plays out in my head...
I make a purchase and all of a sudden the bright store lights fade and the spotlight focuses in on me. Suddenly I'm decked out in red, white and blue with an American flag in the background, a sparkler in my hand, and a big cheesy smile on my face with a little bling shining off one of my front teeth.
And over the store's loudspeaker an announcer (who for some reason has the same voice as the movie preview guy's voice) says, "Rebecca Batt, an American hero, is attempting to save our country one purchase at a time. Thank you Rebecca for stimulating the world economy by buying that plane ticket (or whatever I just bought)."
And then I clasp my hands together and raise my arms up in the air shaking my clasped fists twice over each shoulder in the VICTORY shake and I say, "You're welcome America, you are welcome!" And then I leave the store or log off the Internet in the case of an online purchase and the spotlight fades.
Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating and dramatizing just a little, but seriously does anyone else feel like they are kind of an awesome person when they spend money as if we weren't in some major recession?
Unfortunately, unlike that half black guy who lives in that white house, I cannot just print out whatever amount of money I want to spend. So my heroism cannot go on forever but I will try and do my part.
And that brings me to the subject of today's post which is shopping...particularly shopping for clothes.
I HATE shopping for clothes because:
1) Your hair gets majorly messed up when you try on clothes and then inevitably (especially in SE Idaho) you run into like 10 people you know and then you feel like you have to explain that your hair is not normally a staticy, frizzy mess as you frantically try to pat it down.
2) Clothes are expensive and then they just get ruined or go out of style.
3) Clothes just don't look cute unless you are like a freaking anorexic...and I, obviously, have overcome anorexia...more than overcome anorexia in fact. Actually I never had it, but you get the point.
4) You often have to try on clothes with other clothes that you have at home and then if the clothes you are trying don't work you have to return them...what a pain!
5) My mom isn't here to do it for me or at least go with me.
Just a couple of weeks ago I realized that my reason number 5 for not liking shopping is perhaps my biggest problem lately. I am way dependent on my mom when it comes to clothes shopping. I guess that you just need that one person who will tell you the truth about the clothes you are trying on without completely crushing your self esteem.
Moms, sisters, and daughters are the best for this kind of thing. My mom might say something like, "I really don't like that shirt on you...it is just a weird cut and kind of clingy fabric, don't get it."
So I know that it wasn't a good shirt to buy and I think that it is the shirt's fault that it doesn't look good...stupid weird cut and clingy fabric...and not maybe my misshapen body and spare tire making the shirt look bad.
And if you find something that does look good and you get validation from your special shopper helper that it looks good then the first time you wear that outfit in public you can feel like a million bucks whether or not anyone else gives you a compliment.
Buying new clothes is all pretty complicated for me. I need my mom there with me shopping or just to do the shopping for me. Luckily my mom likes to shop and would sometimes just go buy me a bunch of clothes and let me try them on at home and then she'd return the ones I didn't like. Now that's the life. If I ever get really rich I will hire someone to do my shopping for me.
In the meantime I've been thinking of starting a club of shopaholics and non-shoppers where the shopaholics do the shopping for the non-shoppers. It would be a win-win situation. The shopaholics would get the need for shopping out of their systems by shopping for others and wouldn't have to spend their own money or go into debt to do so, and the non-shoppers would get cute clothes without having to go shopping. Perfect.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I realized that in the 11 months my parents have been in Brazil that the only clothing items I had purchased were:
1) a hoodie from American Eagle
2) an undershirt from Aeropostale
3) a little short sleeved sweater thing from Target
That is it. Seriously. Those were my clothing purchases in almost a year!
So, due to the fact that my lack of clothing was affecting my social life and my desire to attend church I finally decided that I HAD to force myself to do a little shopping these past few weeks. And today I spent most of the day shopping for clothes to wear this summer which is only complicated by the fact that they have to be Africa friendly clothes. Ahhhhhhhh...I wish we weren't born naked. What a pain.
So I just finished torturing myself with SCUBA classes...and by the way, I passed the class and didn't die or anything when we went diving in the big scary lake this past weekend. However, I am SUFFERING from messed up sinuses and a super painful ear ache due to my SCUBA diving. Oh, and I think I have stress induced hives from my SCUBA worries but that's a whole other story. But at least I'm done. I faced my fears and whether or not I ever SCUBA dive again it will be nice to know it is an option and that I'm awesome for facing my biggest fear.
Anyway...so now that the SCUBA torture is over I'm now onto torturing myself via shopping. Luckily, no matter what, the longest that torture can last is until Saturday because then I'm off to Africa for five weeks. If I don't have clothes by then I'll just have to buy some bright print with African animals on it and wrap myself and my head in fabric like the Africans do. Hopefully it won't come to that. Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The New American Hero...
With our economy down in the dumps lately, I can't help but feel like an American hero when I spend money. Like I'm taking one for the team every time I grab my American Express. Does anyone else feel that way?
Especially when I make a bigger purchase (not just groceries and gas but something a little more like a camera, clothes, plane ticket, etc.) I feel like such a little hero (well heroine I guess).
Here's how it plays out in my head...
I make a purchase and all of a sudden the bright store lights fade and the spotlight focuses in on me. Suddenly I'm decked out in red, white and blue with an American flag in the background, a sparkler in my hand, and a big cheesy smile on my face with a little bling shining off one of my front teeth.
And over the store's loudspeaker an announcer (who for some reason has the same voice as the movie preview guy's voice) says, "Rebecca Batt, an American hero, is attempting to save our country one purchase at a time. Thank you Rebecca for stimulating the world economy by buying that plane ticket (or whatever I just bought)."
And then I clasp my hands together and raise my arms up in the air shaking my clasped fists twice over each shoulder in the VICTORY shake and I say, "You're welcome America, you are welcome!" And then I leave the store or log off the Internet in the case of an online purchase and the spotlight fades.
Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating and dramatizing just a little, but seriously does anyone else feel like they are kind of an awesome person when they spend money as if we weren't in some major recession?
Unfortunately, unlike that half black guy who lives in that white house, I cannot just print out whatever amount of money I want to spend. So my heroism cannot go on forever but I will try and do my part.
And that brings me to the subject of today's post which is shopping...particularly shopping for clothes.
I HATE shopping for clothes because:
1) Your hair gets majorly messed up when you try on clothes and then inevitably (especially in SE Idaho) you run into like 10 people you know and then you feel like you have to explain that your hair is not normally a staticy, frizzy mess as you frantically try to pat it down.
2) Clothes are expensive and then they just get ruined or go out of style.
3) Clothes just don't look cute unless you are like a freaking anorexic...and I, obviously, have overcome anorexia...more than overcome anorexia in fact. Actually I never had it, but you get the point.
4) You often have to try on clothes with other clothes that you have at home and then if the clothes you are trying don't work you have to return them...what a pain!
5) My mom isn't here to do it for me or at least go with me.
Just a couple of weeks ago I realized that my reason number 5 for not liking shopping is perhaps my biggest problem lately. I am way dependent on my mom when it comes to clothes shopping. I guess that you just need that one person who will tell you the truth about the clothes you are trying on without completely crushing your self esteem.
Moms, sisters, and daughters are the best for this kind of thing. My mom might say something like, "I really don't like that shirt on you...it is just a weird cut and kind of clingy fabric, don't get it."
So I know that it wasn't a good shirt to buy and I think that it is the shirt's fault that it doesn't look good...stupid weird cut and clingy fabric...and not maybe my misshapen body and spare tire making the shirt look bad.
And if you find something that does look good and you get validation from your special shopper helper that it looks good then the first time you wear that outfit in public you can feel like a million bucks whether or not anyone else gives you a compliment.
Buying new clothes is all pretty complicated for me. I need my mom there with me shopping or just to do the shopping for me. Luckily my mom likes to shop and would sometimes just go buy me a bunch of clothes and let me try them on at home and then she'd return the ones I didn't like. Now that's the life. If I ever get really rich I will hire someone to do my shopping for me.
In the meantime I've been thinking of starting a club of shopaholics and non-shoppers where the shopaholics do the shopping for the non-shoppers. It would be a win-win situation. The shopaholics would get the need for shopping out of their systems by shopping for others and wouldn't have to spend their own money or go into debt to do so, and the non-shoppers would get cute clothes without having to go shopping. Perfect.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I realized that in the 11 months my parents have been in Brazil that the only clothing items I had purchased were:
1) a hoodie from American Eagle
2) an undershirt from Aeropostale
3) a little short sleeved sweater thing from Target
That is it. Seriously. Those were my clothing purchases in almost a year!
So, due to the fact that my lack of clothing was affecting my social life and my desire to attend church I finally decided that I HAD to force myself to do a little shopping these past few weeks. And today I spent most of the day shopping for clothes to wear this summer which is only complicated by the fact that they have to be Africa friendly clothes. Ahhhhhhhh...I wish we weren't born naked. What a pain.
So I just finished torturing myself with SCUBA classes...and by the way, I passed the class and didn't die or anything when we went diving in the big scary lake this past weekend. However, I am SUFFERING from messed up sinuses and a super painful ear ache due to my SCUBA diving. Oh, and I think I have stress induced hives from my SCUBA worries but that's a whole other story. But at least I'm done. I faced my fears and whether or not I ever SCUBA dive again it will be nice to know it is an option and that I'm awesome for facing my biggest fear.
Anyway...so now that the SCUBA torture is over I'm now onto torturing myself via shopping. Luckily, no matter what, the longest that torture can last is until Saturday because then I'm off to Africa for five weeks. If I don't have clothes by then I'll just have to buy some bright print with African animals on it and wrap myself and my head in fabric like the Africans do. Hopefully it won't come to that. Stay tuned...
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8 comments:
you crack me up! i hate shopping these days too, but it has more to do with having to drag 2 babies along and this beautiful body i'm left with after pregnancy. i'm just bummed because i threw away all my fat clothes after i lost all of the baby weight last time, and now i have like 3 outfits to wear until i get (relatively) skinny again. guess that's good enough motivation! i love that you said "i wish i weren't born naked." you are hilarious.
good job on the scuba stuff. i'm glad you didn't die. i would love to do that especially since we will be in hawaii later this summer.
have a good trip! let's play again when you get back.
It's nice to know someone misses me even if it is someone that was using me. Not really. I liked, with emphasis on the ed, to shop. That little pleasure has been seriously impeded by my move to Brazil. But I know you can do it. I'm sure a true "American hero" would stick with it. So put on your big girl shopping shoes and keep your eye on the mall.
In regards to the beginning of your blog is another reason why I picture ...you, business suit, lower angle camera, arms folded,TIME magazine....possibly the title like "Becca Batt: The American Hero slash Day Trader"
and yes it wouldnt be actually a "/" it would say slash.
Yes, Brian and I love to say "just doin' our part" after we put something on our credit card.
I totally agree with all of your anti-shopping points, except for maybe the hair issue. Mine just looks like a staticy frizzy mess all the time!
You need Becky. She is an awesome shopper and always tells the truth. Audrey says she helped her a bunch yesterday.
The hero idea is great. I have been at a lower level....just thinking I am doing my part for my country....when I shop. I like the hero idea much better.
Good post. I would like to be one of those shoppers for others. I would excel.
On a post on Kim's / slash comment made me thing of dashes. .....and please tell her to come back and read this....
My brother's mother-in-law had this happen at a school she substitute teaches at in Florida.
The mother of a girl kept calling the school because they were pronouncing her daughter's name wrong. La-a. They kept saying "La" (like singing la la la) and "a" (like the letter "a"). Finally the mother shed light on the name. You pronounce it "La" (like singing) "dash" "a" (uh).
"La dash uh"
Bahahahaha!!!!!!! Who says living in the south isn't great?!?!?! You can't make this stuff up.
I hope that girl gets to change her name someday. (comment on previous comment)
seriously, i cant believe that name is real Christa.
"Who just threw that ham at me?"
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