Polygamy or Inactivity...my moral dilemma on Sunday mornings

Today I woke up and started getting ready for church and thought to myself, 'what am I going to wear to church today?' YUCK. I hate deciding what to wear to church especially right now as I am at an all time low on clothes I like...especially church clothes. And I really do not like shopping for clothes...especially now that my best clothes shopping partner (aka MOM) is living in Brazil right now. I mean, I have enough money and there are sales EVERYWHERE thanks to the recession or depression or whatever we're in right now, but I cannot get myself to go shopping...at least for clothes. I am fine shopping for luggage or for makeup or for purses, but for some reason I have never enjoyed clothes shopping. The main reason is probably honestly that my hair does not fair well after trying on a lot of clothes...and there's nothing worse for you self-esteem then walking around by yourself at the mall on a Friday night with BAD hair. So I just don't clothes shop. But then I wake up on Sunday morning and sometimes wish I were either 1)inactive or 2)polygamist. Inactive because then I wouldn't need any church clothes or Polygamist because then I would just have some plain, homespun, uniform-like, pioneer church dress to wear every Sunday and I wouldn't really have any need to look cute or make a decision about what to wear. My only decisions would be...light blue pioneer dress or light purple one?...and hair in bun or hair in ringlets? EASY. Besides if you are a polygamist woman there isn't really a need to be all hot looking, cute, and trendy. I mean when 5 or 10 of you can marry the same guy it really takes away the whole competition thing...unless of course you are competing for favorite wife, but that's a whole other story. So here is what I think wards need to do to prevent non-shoppers from either 1)going inactive or 2) going Polygamist. Have a SHOPPING COMMITTEE! They have committees for everything else (they even have an ENGAGED COMMITTEE in my ward so that engaged people can at least feel good about themselves while they contribute nothing to society), so why not a shopping committee where people who don't like to shop can give their money to those who do and have them shop for them? BRILLIANT. The shopaholics will get to get some of their need for too much shopping out of their systems, possibly saving them from bankruptcy, ruined marriages, etc., and the non-shoppers will have cute, stylish clothes to wear each Sunday with little to no effort. Maybe I'll bring it up with the Bishopric...it never hurts to try, right?

Me Jane...You Tarzan

So I still haven't gotten around to posting any pictures from Costa Rica...and I need to soon! But in the meantime here are a few video clips that I STOLE from my friend Kate's blog. Sorry Kate, I owe you one. Here's me in a bright orange jumpsuit swinging off the Tarzan rope in the Monteverde Cloud Forest in Costa Rica. It was just a little bonus part to our zip-lining adventure. I wish I had the zip-lining filmed because it was AMAZING. I definitely want to go again. I'm sure you are wondering why I am sporting that awesome convict-like orange jump suit. It was due to the rain...although it didn't really rain on us at all so we didn't need the suits anyway...and they had that "kid coming in from recess in the winter" smell if you know what I mean. Yuck! But it was so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun it made it way worth the wet sweat smell. And here's Kate doing the same. We had technical difficulties with the video of Christa doing it too, but I promise she did. On our way up to Monteverde we got stuck in the mud for quite awhile and had to walk up a hill barefoot in mud up to our shins...uphill, both ways! It was actually a fun little adventure. Here's a little video of a couple of minutes of the hour or so we were trying to get out. Actually our van got unstuck and up the hill in about 15 minutes but then our driver (who we called Evel Knievel) was the only driver brave enough/good enough at driving to get out and so he helped like 8 other vans get up the hill too. That's what took so long. Thank you Kate for the great background music! I'm so glad I went to Costa Rica with friends that can see the adventure in everything with me. It was sort of a crazy trip but we had SO MUCH FUN!

How Black is Black? / I Hate America Right Now

I'm speechless (okay not really, I never am). Is America really that dumb? Barf on toast. Do the people who voted for Obama even know what he stands for? Or are they just voting for "Change" and for the first "Black President." And yes I did purposely put "black president" in quotes because here is my question to the world...how black is black anyway? If my calculations are right Barak Hussein Mohammed Obama (that's his real name according to the Internet) is exactly 50% black and 50% white. So why is everyone saying that he is the first black president? He is (or will be in January) the first HALF BLACK PRESIDENT. I don't know why the technicality bothers me but it does. I mean, that would be like a hermaphrodite running for president and when she/he won everybody saying, "Oh yay, we have our first WOMAN president." NOT SO I say. Half and Half isn't whole. Now if somehow Barak was 51% black then I guess we could call him black...but since we all know that 23 chromosomes came from his Black Daddy and 23 came from his whiter then White Mommy...that he is only Half a Black (and half white). So I could have just as easily voted for him based up on the fact that he is White...but I didn't. And not that I'm in love with McCain either, but sometimes you just have to choose the lesser of two evils. Am I against the idea of having a black president? NO. In fact I think that black guy who played the President of the United States on the show 24 and is also in a lot of Allstate commercials would make a great black president just based upon his looks and commanding voice. I'm not against a black candidate for any office...or an Asian, or Native American, or Hispanic or whatever. However I still believe that someone should not win an election based on their color and not on their qualifications...and that goes for white folk too...they shouldn't just win because they are white either...the best person should win. Same with jobs, scholarships, medical school placement, etc. But I guess the world isn't the fair place I want it to be. Shame shame. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

At least he looks semi-decent in a swimming suit. So maybe if they make a calendar of Presidents, Kings and Dictators of the World our little Baraky will maybe even make the cover. I still hate how it looks like he's always wearing lip liner though. He should get that fixed. He has the money. And now he has all of our money too, so he has no excuse for weird lip coloration. Okay, that's all for this installment of "Becca's non-factually based arguments and opinions." Until next time...which may be soon unless our new Half-Black President gives hope to all the hopeless and gives people confidence in America and suddenly our economy recovers. And then I won't rant and rave anymore because I'll be HAPPIER and closer to my retirement to the island of Aruba. I still won't like Barak but I might like America a little more. The end!

Happy Election Day Everybody!

My cousin Lucy sent me this cartoon today and since she doesn't have a blog of her own I thought I'd post it because I think it is HILARIOUS and oh so true.

Who Took the Indians Out of Thanksgiving?

The other night my brothers and Kim and I were talking about how America is heading towards Socialism...with the government bailing out banks and with stupid people out there supporting a presidential candidate who supports socialised medicine, etc (I won't name any names since tomorrow is election day and I don't want to even mention his name and give him any free advertisement.)

Anyway, someone brought up the fact that when the the United States was first settled, in Jamestown or maybe one of the other early settlements, they tried out Socialism. They gave everybody a plot of land to farm and then had everyone bring in their harvests to be shared by all. Within just a couple of years the system fell apart because some people just didn't work as hard in their fields knowing that they could survive because of the hard work of others in the settlement. ANYWAY, soon thereafter they just went back to everybody just living off the harvest from their own piece of land and all of a sudden the lazy people disappeared. Now this isn't the point of this post...this is just a little side note to show you that Socialism does not work and that we've already tried it here in the US...so we have proof. (Although I don't have the facts to back up our conversation on the Pilgrims and Socialism.)

Anyway talking about the Pilgrims brought Thanksgiving to my mind. And not just any old Thanksgiving but that first Thanksgiving when the Pilgrims and Indians (now known as Native Americans) got together and ate a big feast. See picture below for details...

And then all of a sudden it hit me...who took the Indians out of Thanksgiving? I mean, really, after that first Thanksgiving you never heard of us White folk inviting over the Indians anymore. Were they bad guests? Did they not BTOM (Bring their own meat) or something? Were their table manners below par? Whatever happened to Thanksgiving being a holiday where Caucasians and Native Americans got together to share some grub?

My family all laughed at me quite a bit when I suggested this idea, but in my defense aren't holidays meant to commemorate whatever we started the holiday for? I mean, is it weird that I think it is weird that my family has NEVER had any Indians over for Thanksgiving dinner?

Anyway, I just think this is something we all should think about. I know I am. Since my parents are in a foreign land my family probably won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year (or I guess for the next three years), but if I was going to have a Thanksgiving dinner I would sure think seriously about finding some Indians to invite.

It will just be my little brother and I spending this Thanksgiving together and I just don't think that cooking a turkey for two is really worth it...especially since I don't really cook anymore. So, due to our lack of desire to make a big meal together we are thinking of going to a Homeless Shelter in SLC and helping serve Thanksgiving dinner. Either that or we might go to NYC for the long weekend. We are undecided.

But, if we do end up serving the homeless I will probably get to share my Thanksgiving dinner with at least one Native American because there is one that I always see at Pioneer Park so I'm betting he'll show up for dinner. If so, I'll be sure to share a blogpost on "My first REAL Thanksgiving." Stay tuned...

Oh, and this post isn't meant to be racist...it is just meant to give you something to think about. I mean, I love Indians. Well, actually I don't know any. But if I did I would love them and I would invite them over for Thanksgiving...so there!

When Tragedy Strikes...

Seriously, I thought I had reached rock bottom...until today. I'm up in Idaho this weekend and as I usually do today I went to Millhollow in Rexburg for my favorite Pistachio frozen yogurt mixed with White Chocolate Almond frozen yogurt with cookie dough mixed in. I know it sounds gross, but it is not. It is amazing. It is one of the few joys in my life. I mean... I am homeless, parentless, live in a country well on its way to Socialism (which is only good news for the lazy people), I HATE my job, my financial future is looking pretty bleak, I am one-third of the way done with a Masters' Degree that at the rate I'm going I may never finish...and after all that I'm going through right now I find out today that Millhollow is no longer carrying Pistachio frozen yogurt. SERIOUSLY? So I'm just trying to carry on, realizing that my whole world is crumbling around me. Can't I have that one little joy in life, can't I? And why now? So if any of you know the owners of Millhollow please beg them to reconsider. Because until they get pistachio back I won't be back at Millhollow or back in Rexburg (since frozen yogurt is my only reason for visiting Rexburg). And if any of you have any suggestions of something that can replace the hole in my heart left by my new lack of pistachio frozen yogurt please let me know. Until then I'll just try to carry on and will try to put my life back together. Maybe I'll have to move to Idaho and open my own frozen yogurt store. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Belize or Bust (Times Two)

I should have been a travel agent...really I should have. So far due to my public service announcement 17 tickets to Belize have been purchased so far (and those are just the ones I know of for sure)! And 15 of those tickets are either for me or for people traveling with me. I think American Airlines should at least give me a free t-shirt or something for all the business I've gotten for them...or maybe a kick in the pants for helping so many people know about their dirt cheap airfare. And don't judge me people, but I'm actually going twice. Once in January and once in February. Too bad my mom isn't on the same continent as me so she can control me better...I'm an out of control orphan. I just figure with such cheap airfare it is actually cheaper to meet up with my friends on trips to Belize then it would be to actually go and see them. For example, my friend Kate from Ohio...I could either spend $331 over Presidents' Day weekend to go see her in Ohio (BORING) or meet up with her in Belize (EXCITING) for $224. What would you do? Most of the time being single sucks. We single people don't have the benefits of marriage and family such as:

1. tax breaks
2. being considered "normal" by society
3. fulfilling your purpose in life
4. having someone love you and someone to love
5. not having everyone wonder (and talk about) what is wrong with you
6. having cute little kids (aka tax breaks)
7. not having to wonder what is wrong with yourself
8. not having to date anymore
9. not having to be in a Singles' Ward
10. not having to always worry about how you come across (too quiet...too loud, too independent...too needy, too educated...not educated enough, blah, blah blah)
11. not having to feel guilty for not going to the 5000 Singles' Ward activities per week
12. etc.

HOWEVER...sometimes being single is AWESOME. Like:

1. When there is cheap airfare to Central America and you have to decide to go on the spur of the moment
2. When you want to go to Belize twice in two months there isn't anyone to tell you that you're crazy and ridiculous...and if they do you don't care anyway
3. When you see moms in the grocery store with super bratty kids screaming and begging for that Hannah Montana diary, Thomas the Train toy, or those mini M&M tubes (Yum)

So today, yay for Spinsterhood!

So who did I talk into making the quick decision to go to Belize with me??? Trip #1 (January): Every single one of the SINGLE cousins on my dad's side of the family except the one in high school and the two on missions....EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. And that (AMAZINGLY) even includes my blogleech brother Russell...due to some amazing fishing spots in Belize. Plus my cousin's two friends. So there are 9 of us so far on that trip Trip #2 (February): Me and 5 of my single girl friends are going to be celebrating Single People Awareness Day (Feb 14) in style! Tallie asked in her comment how I get so much time off of work. Well, first of all, I just bought these two tickets without even asking for time off...so hopefully it will work out. With my current feelings about my job what they are if it came down to losing my job or going to Belize I would take Belize. But really, I do get quite a few days off...I think like 18 or something plus holidays and I'm going over holiday weekends for both of my trips to Belize and am just going for 5 and 6 days for each of the trips...so I really am not having to take much time off work at all...especially since I work four days a week so I always have three day weekends. And...sometimes when I go on trips I just take leave without pay like this summer when I was in Paraguay and Brazil. I figure the less money I make the less taxes I pay...funny how our American system just makes me want to work less. Anyway...in conclusion, now is a GREAT time to travel. That is if you have any cash and can get over the depression that looking at your retirement funds will bring you. The dollar is SUPER strong right now and airfare is cheap and getting cheaper. For example, today I found round trip to Honolulu from SLC for 400 bucks (including taxes). I think that is pretty dang good...not as amazing as the Belize deal, but still good. And...what is with all the SUPER cheap flights they have directly out of Idaho Falls right now...like New York City for under 300 dollars from Idaho Falls? And tickets to Fortaleza Brazil where my parents are have dropped like 500 bucks just in the past few weeks. Luckily they haven't dropped around Christmas time or we'd be mad...but I'm glad they are dropping for the rest of the year. So you may have lost tens of thousands in your retirement fund, the housing market may be crap, and our future as wealthy Americans may be uncertain, but for now, I say, "Spend it before you lose it and TRAVEL!" The end.