If only I were as cool as a bull-riding monkey...

Back to the real world on Monday...school starts yet again. I hate that end of summer, beginning of school dread. Especially since I have some major items on my To Do List such as: 1) Decide for sure which classes I'm taking and/or if I even want to finish my Master's Degree. 2) Find a place in SLC to live. Homeless shelter maybe? Under a bridge? In my car? Orphanage? Who knows. 3) Maybe find a part-time job in SLC if there's something that will work with my school schedule. 4) Oh, and then FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. That one has been on my To Do List for about 15 years. I wonder when/if I'll ever be able to check that off. 5) Catch up on blogging. I know, I know, I'm way behind.

Single in a Double Occupancy World...

Single...

In a Double Occupancy World

Okay, first of all may I just say how excited I am to finally have a use for the picture of the Siamese twin banana that I found at the grocery store in Brazil last month. Have you ever eaten a Siamese twin banana? I had never even seen a Siamese twin banana before this one and so I thought it was pretty cool. I guess I'm easily entertained.

Second of all, I will warn you that unlike my last post, this post is a sappy post of me complaining about my sorry lonely life. So, if that isn't your thing, you can stop reading right now. But if you do decide to read on, consider yourself forewarned. So right now I should be on my way to Sweden for my 30th birthday but I'm not. I wasn't ever really sure that I'd be able to pull off the trip which is why I didn't want a ton of people knowing that I was trying to go. But, somehow a lot of you did find out that I was trying to put together a shotgun trip to Scandinavia. I guess I'm not that good at keeping things quiet. Anyway, the reason I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull it off or not was because I didn't actually get my ticket until LATE Wednesday night. Yes, less than a week ago and I was supposed to fly out TODAY. Earlier this year I was trying to get a little trip together for August but potential travel partners were falling out like flies. That is a saying, isn't it? Well, if it isn't a saying what I mean to say is that I'd find one person that would think they could go with me and we'd get looking at tickets and stuff and then a few weeks later they'd tell me that it wasn't working out for them to go. So, then I'd find another person that acted interested in going and we'd start to plan the trip and then they'd back out too. I have never had such a hard time finding someone to travel with me. I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyway, by the time I planned and unplanned the trip with several people and nothing was working out, it was the end of July. Part of the problem was that during what should have been prime planning time I was in Africa with prehistoric Internet service so I wasn't able to plan as well. And more often than not, I'm the trip planner, the one trying to talk everybody else into going, so I guess if I'm not able to actively bug/convince people to go with me then nothing happens. So anyway...last week, in an act of desperation/depression after finding out that the Antarctica cruise I'd wanted to go on was sold out (because I'd held on trying to find someone to go with me) I decided to call up United and see if I could find a ticket to Scandinavia using some old frequent flyer miles that I've had for a long time and had just never used. And, they had a ticket, and a really great one at that. So, I got the ticket and started researching Scandinavia and just decided that I'd go alone. Anyway, super long story short, this morning, after staying up most of the night packing and still trying to plan things, I just decided not to go. Of course I can't just be like a normal person and decide more than 6 hours before my flight was supposed to leave. Anyway, I wish that I had just decided several months ago to go solo on this trip so I would have actually started planning more in advance. Because it wasn't so much the travelling alone that made me decide to not go (since I'm probably safer in Scandinavia than I am in SLC alone) it was more just the fact that I didn't have ANYTHING really planned in advance and because of that the trip was going to be a lot more expensive than it would have been if planned in advance and there were some things I wanted to do that were already sold out. And I wouldn't have time to get a Eurail pass and so my train tickets were going to cost me double of what they would have if I'd had even a few weeks in advance to plan. Sometimes it is fun to just not plan in advance and go with the flow, but it is a lot chancier doing that when you are going to be alone. It is just that when you are traveling alone you are a little more limited in where you can stay, if you're on a budget like I am, and I was having a hard time finding a decent place to stay for a decent price (even on Scandinavian pricing terms) and I didn't want to get to a city and end up not being able to find a cheap room and having to spend like 400 dollars on a hotel room. At least when you're with someone you can split the cost or if you have to end up sleeping in a train station or something at least you can take turns sleeping and guarding your luggage so you don't get robbed and stuff. Okay, so that is just the BACKGROUND (sorry it was so long) for my whiny post titled "Single in a Double Occupancy World." I'm starting to think that there is some big international conspiracy against single people, especially when it comes to traveling because they sure don't make traveling as a single person easy and affordable. For example, for me traveling alone, just getting from the Stockholm airport to the Stockholm city center via train was going to cost me around 63 dollars round trip. BUT, for two adults traveling together both can go for 65 dollars round trip. And, those two people can bring up to 4 children under the age of 18 for FREE. So, basically, airport transfer in Stockholm for a family of 6 would be 65 dollars and for just one poor single person it would be 63. Really fair, isn't it? And from a business standpoint this doesn't even make since. I mean you might want to offer some sort of a family or group discount to encourage large groups to travel in your country, but they aren't really benefiting too much from this deal. They are making like and extra 2 bucks and allowing 5 extra people to crowd up the train. So, basically the single people are carrying the main financial burden for the train, kind of like we do with taxes in the USA. Okay, so I get that hotel rooms are cheaper if you split it with another person. I get that hotels aren't going to give a single person a room for half as much money as a couple would pay. That makes sense, when they can make double with the same amount of space, why wouldn't they? But why not just build some smaller single rooms? And at some of the hostels I looked into I could pay the same amount to stay in a huge dorm room with 15 stinky Germans as a couple could each pay for a private double room. Now that just doesn't make sense to me. There are all sorts of discounts for travel...group discounts, family discounts, student discounts, senior citizen discounts, military discounts, teacher discounts, etc., but I've never seen a SINGLE PERSON DISCOUNT. In fact, single people pay more. Here's a great example of that. So I've been looking into going on a cruise to South America an Antarctica next year. I haven't been able to find anyone who can or who wants to go. So finally last week I called the cruise company to find out about just going alone. I knew that they had a program called "Single Share" where if you want to go on a cruise by yourself instead of having to pay for the whole double occupancy cabin by yourself they'll match you with another single person of your same sex who hopefully won't be a complete psycho and cut off your ear and eat it during the night. So, this cruise is 1900 dollars, which for a 20 day cruise covering 4 countries and Antarctica is pretty much a steal of a deal. So, you'd think that the "Single Share" price might be just the 1900 for your half of the room plus maybe even 100 or 200 extra dollars to cover the cruise company's costs of organizing the roommate thing. That made sense to me. But, no, that's not how it is at all. Instead they told me that the "Single Share" cost would be about 3400 dollars! What the what the? So, I could either pay 3400 dollars to share my cabin with a complete stranger and potential be killed and eaten in the night or worse, or I could just pay 3800 for the whole cabin by myself. So basically it is like you pay for two people but just one gets to go. Shoot I might as well just pay for someone to go with me if I was going to do that! So the greedy cruise company (which I believe plays a major part in the conspiracy against single people) will make 6800 dollars off a cabin with two single people in it, verses 3800 dollars off a double occupancy situation. How does this make sense? How is this even fair? Someday, I believe, the next generation will look back on our time right now and say to themselves, "How did they ever treat single people so crappy?" just like I look back at the pre-Civil Rights era or pre-Feminist movement and think to myself, 'What were people thinking? How could they be so cruel?' Anyway, so basically, sometimes it really sucks being single. That's all. Now I need to go unpack my bags. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the airline let me change the dates of my tickets and I didn't have to pay a fee, so that was nice. They do that for single and married people I guess. Progressive. Anyway, I'm now scheduled to go in June of next year. So, if anybody wants to see the midnight sun in Scandinavia with me next year, let me know. If I can't get anyone to go with me at least I'll have more time to plan and can maybe find some better deals.

Even nice people are stupid sometimes...

Okay, people, please don't take this post as a sappy post of me complaining about my sorry lonely life. It isn't meant to be that. Instead it should be taken as an instructional post as I love all my blog commenters and sort of like some of my blog leeches and I don't want any of you to ever be STUPID, because even nice people are stupid sometimes.

Let me set the scene....

Cousin's wedding reception. Young cousin. Maybe 20 years old. Marrying nice guy in the temple at the "normal" age for marrying. Perfect.

Enter me. Nearly 30. Severely single. At said wedding reception. Trying not to feel awkward. Holding my darling little cousin William as a distraction and if nothing else as a conversation starter for people who don't know what to say to a SINGLE PERSON (Awkward). At least they can say, "Oh isn't he darling," or "Whose baby is this," etc.

Enter *Ruth. Ruth is a very nice distant relative that I see at weddings and funerals. Ruth is friendly and fun and NICE. Normally. I like Ruth because she is friendly and goes out of her way to talk to me.

Me. Sitting at a table with non distant relatives. Chat chat chat. Ruth sits down next to me. More chat chat chat. Friendly friendly friendly. THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN out of NOWHERE Ruth hits me with a zinger. "SO, ARE YOU STILL SINGLE???" she says.

SILENCE around the whole table as all eyes look my way. 'What will the unstable crazy single girl say?,' people wonder...

Me: "Yup."

Me again mostly to break the awkward SILENCE: "So Ruth, are you STILL SINGLE???" By the way, Ruth is like a 70+ year old widow.

Ruth laughs and says, "Yes."

Me: "Well I'll keep my eyes open for a nice man for you to marry."

Conversation over. Two points Ruth. Ten points Becca.

SERIOUSLY, "are you still single?" What kind of a question is that? First of all I just saw and talked to Ruth at yet another cousin's wedding in April. I was single then. And because I'm not some Ricks College (aka:BYU IDAHO) student, I think it is safe to say that a few months later I would NOT BE MARRIED.

And, if by chance a miracle had occurred in those few months and I wasn't single anymore then wouldn't I have some awesome guy sitting next to me??? Or, wouldn't I have some major bling bling on my ring finger??? Or, if nothing else, wouldn't I just blurt it out to you because I would be so freaking ecstatic to NOT have to spend the next 60 years BY MYSELF only to be found dead and alone, half eaten by wild dogs at the age of 90??? Yes, yes, yes.

Dear Ruth,

If I am ever NOT STILL SINGLE, I will send you an invitation to my wedding reception. That is how you'll know. Until then, let's not repeat the conversation we had today.

Thank you, Becca

So tonight I'm laying in my bed thinking about this conversation and how maybe I can convince my mom to put "STILL SINGLE" on my headstone since she refuses to fulfill my dying wish of having "SPINSTER" on my headstone.

That gets me thinking about my future headstone... (I'm not really weird, I just couldn't sleep because the dread of 60 lonely years was hanging over me...that's why I was mentally designing my headstone.)

Anyway, I decided that if I can't have "SPINSTER" or "STILL SINGLE" on my headstone like I want that at least I should have some say in how it looks, and I decided that my headstone should:

definitely not have any hearts on it

nor birds

not a picture of trees and mountains

NO ANGELS for sure

Of course not a kitty or puppy

and NO shellacked pictures of me, please, please, please

How about just a nice upright rectangle or old school rectangle with a rounded top, my name, date of birth, date of death and maybe two straight lines, one thick one thin bordering the whole thing. Classy I think, don't you?

Okay, time for bed.

*name changed out of the kindness of my heart

Dear President Obama...

Dear Barack,

I hate your "universal health care plan," and I hope it never ever passes. I just wanted you to know that.

With disdain,

Becca

Oh and P.S. When you say that your socialized medicine plan will not raise ANY sort of taxes for me since I make under $250,000 a year, I don't believe you...not for one second. You're such a little Joker Barack, now aren't you?

Hey everybody, I just thought I'd let you know that you should probably snitch on me because I don't agree with the president. At least that's what Obama wants you to do. Here's a little quote from the Official White House Internet site explaining it all. "There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spinning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via emails or through casual conversation. Since we can't keep track of them all here at the White House, we're asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems FISHY, send it to flag @ whitehouse.gov." WOW, Mr. Obama, would you also like us to send some books your way for you to burn? Maybe if you just burned all the books that don't support your policies and shut down all the Internet sites where there might be fishy rumors about socialized medicine you will COMPLETELY rule this country as the full dictator you would like to be. Oh no, we can't have people talking about politics via email or CASUAL CONVERSATION. Where would that lead?...Oh, maybe to people actually having an opinion and taking action against your policies before you spin anymore out of control! Mr. Obama, as a graduate student of Public Health, I have studied various universal or socialized health care plans that are in place throughout the world. I have also traveled to several countries where they have some form of socialized medicine. And let me tell you something, those plans DON'T work. Ask someone in the waiting line at the public hospital in Kumasi, Ghana who has been waiting for hours, maybe even overnight, to see a doctor and there are still 150 more people in front of them in line. Ask my parents' friend Irene who went to a public hospital in Brazil to get some lab tests done for some health problems she is experiencing and should see those lab results in about THREE months. Ask a lady I taught in my mission in Argentina who was going to the public hospital to receive chemotherapy for breast cancer. Some days she got treatment and other days she didn't...it just depended whether or not they had the medications she needed. They probably said to her, "Oh we're sorry, we know you have BREAST CANCER, but we just don't have any medicine today. Try back again tomorrow." As if an hour long bus ride to the hospital is easy for a 70 year-old with cancer! Yes, all people may have access to health care in these countries, but the health care disparity between rich and poor is still very apparent. The poor get health care but, what quality of health care? And the rich either just pay more money and go to a private doctor or hospital or they may just come to the United States of America to get their surgery or health care or they may just suck it up and take a lesser quality of health care with the poor people because they are already paying 20-25 percent taxes just to cover health care anyway, so they may as well use the "free" health care programs. The way I see it in the poorer, developing countries that have socialized medicine, the quality of care is pretty much horrible for the poor people and the richer people just pay in cash to go to private doctors and hospitals. In richer, more developed countries that have socialized medicine, they may still have pretty good health care but they PAY FOR IT with incredibly high taxes. We already have government programs to cover the health care costs of the poor, old, and handicapped. If there are any gaps in those programs I'm sure that those gaps would be covered by the donations of wealthy people in America to charities and NGOs, IF Americans weren't taxed so much. Leave the rich and even middle class alone and you'll find that they are pretty generous people. Today I spent over 400 dollars for a dermatologist appointment, lab tests, and prescriptions. And I didn't even fill one of the prescriptions I was given because it was way too expensive. I don't have health insurance. Well, just major medical. So, I had to pay that 400 dollars out of pocket. Too bad for me. I'm the one who CHOSE to quit my job and go back to school full time and so I'm the one who CHOSE to lose my health insurance. It isn't anyone's fault but mine and I don't expect anyone else to have to pay the consequences for my choice. (And just for the record, it is the ONLY bad thing about having quit my job...everything else = wonderful.) And if I get in dire straights I will just make little jars, put cute little labels on them that say, "Becca's Anti-ZIT fund," and will leave them at all the grocery store check stands. And nice people will drop their change into my Anti-zit fund and the world will be a wonderful place and we won't need some big government health plan to make it a wonderful place, because it already is. I'll close my ranting and raving with these words from Thomas Jefferson. "A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have." AMEN brother.

I guess I'm okay...

Today I got my hair cut and colored by my fabulous hair stylist Audrey. Usually when I'm getting color I'll wear an old t-shirt, just so I don't have to worry about staining one of my favorite shirts. So today I wore this nasty old Rex Lee 5K t-shirt that has yellow deodorant stains and is sort of getting thin because it has been washed a few too many times. I think I've had it since 2003 or so. Oh, and this morning I even dripped a little mouth wash on it, so I was looking extra special.

After my haircut I decided to run into the post office in Rigby to mail a letter. I was a little bit self conscious about my shirt, especially in Rigby where I'm sure to run into someone I know, but I really needed to get the letter mailed. So, I just decided that I'd hurry and run in, hope the line wasn't too long, and then get out of there before somebody from the Rigby High Class of '97 saw me.

I parked my car and headed into the post office and just as I'm walking in an old guy (at least 70) walks out of the post office wearing levi shorts and suspenders. Yup, no shirt. I guess he wanted to show off that tattoo he got when he was in the army or something. And I thought to myself, "hm, I guess I'm okay," and I walked into that post office with my head held high and mailed my letter.

Latin America in one picture...

Coca-Cola and the Virgin Mary...I can't think of any picture that could better sum up Latin America than this. Well, I guess a pack of flea-ridden dogs with their skin falling off digging through a pile of trash while some kids play soccer in the background would also be a good descriptive picture. Oh, and for the record I love Latin America, but it is what it is...a Coca-Cola, Virgin Mary, soccer loving continent who doesn't spay/neuter their dogs or do a very good job picking up their trash. But I love them still the same. I took the picture at the Coca-Cola offices which are in the same building as the mission office. If the elevator stops at the 10th floor you get to pay a little homage to Mary and to Coca-Cola as the little display is right in front of the elevator doors. And speaking of La Virgin... my mom and I came across this huge statue of Mary in a plaza in Fortaleza. We drove by it one day and then decided to stop for a picture a few days later. Unfortunately, the day we stopped they were restoring Mary to some earlier glory so there was scaffolding all around and a guy walking precariously on a bent wooden board fixing Mary up. So, maybe next time I'll get a better picture. I do actually think, as far as huge statues of Mary go, that it is a pretty cool one. And you can tell she's one big mother by the size of the guy up on the scaffolding. So, hail Mary.

The Countdown

This is for my dad... so he can CORRECTLY keep track of their time left in the mission. Starting after about Christmas, which was their six month mark, my dad was telling people back home, "Yeah, this whole mission thing isn't too bad...time is flying by...we've got the first year down...now just two more to go." We had to keep reminding him that seven or eight months does not equal a year and that he still had about two and a HALF years left. Well, I'm proud to say that just last month my parents actually passed their real one year mark. One-third of the way through. YAY! 398 days down and only 697 left to go (if my calculations are correct). So in honor of their year mark I went and bought two sister missionary countdown charts and taped them together. 1095 days. So, now we can visually see the time flying by. Before I know it I will no longer have to spend all of my savings every time I want to see my parents, won't have a pile of stuff in my room awaiting the next "shipment" to Brazil, and won't have to wonder where and with whom I'll spend my holidays. And my mom and I can go shopping...and not Brazilian style shopping (which is a topic for a whole other post) and my dad can build me a house so I won't be homeless anymore. It will be great. But for now we wait. And count. Hopefully I won't forget to fill in the chart though. My family isn't too good at keeping these missionary countdown charts. I'm always impressed when people actually do stay up to date on them, like my blog leech Maggie, who is faithfully counting down the days for her special someone to get home. When Russell went on his mission we bought one of the big poster sized charts and hung it up. The first few weeks or even months we (probably actually just me) faithfully added a sticker each day. Then we kind of forgot about it until the day Russell was coming home from his mission and in the rush of getting things at the house ready for his homecoming I remember my parents telling Lee and I to hurry and fill in all the spaces on the poster I guess so Russell wouldn't feel bad that we hadn't been counting down the every second to his return. Then I went on a mission and we again got a big countdown poster. I think I guilted my family into filling it in because I knew that they wouldn't without a little prodding. I remember on holidays when we'd talk saying to them "Are you guys filling in my countdown poster? I bet you're not. Have you guys even noticed that I'm gone? Does anyone even miss me?" blah, blah, blah. So, they filled it in to appease me. Then when Lee went we again bought the poster. This time we didn't even pretend that we had been counting down. Lee's poster just had a sticker on day one, and a sticker on day 730 with nothing in between filled in. When Tyler went we didn't even bother with the poster. Sorry Ty. We are such a loving family, aren't we?