My heart is broken this Christmas season.
The unthinkable has happened.
Tootsie Roll Industries has discontinued its best ever candy...Junior Mints Candy Coated Minis...the only thing I was looking forward to this Christmas.
The CEO of Tootsie Roll Industries needs a roundhouse kick to the head because Junior Mints Candy Coated Minis are were (RIP) the world's best candy (at least as far as I'm concerned...and pretty much everyone I know who was lucky enough to taste them last Christmas).
I'm not a big time candy lover. I'd rather get my fat and calories from cookies, cakes, pastries, etc.
But, when it comes to candy, these were absolutely amazing. The texture was perfect. The crunch was just right. The size was perfect. The amount of mint was perfect.
Basically, they were perfection in candy form. They were the type of candy that I can imagine the candy bowls on every coffee table in heaven would be filled with. Seriously. Amazing. Celestial. Divine.
And this year I searched and searched and searched for these candies to no avail.
And then I waited, thinking that maybe they'd be out later in the season.
And then I searched some more.
And then I wrote to Tootsie Roll Industries asking them what was up with no Junior Mints Candy Coated Minis this year.
And they simply replied that the candies had been "discontinued."
And then I cried (not really).
And then complained to everyone I knew who also loved these candies.
And then I thought of like 500 super disgusting candies (in the U.S. alone) that could be discontinued instead of the delicious Junior Mints Candy Coated Minis. Some examples of ralphingly disgusting candies that the world could live without are: Necco Wafers, Circus Peanuts, Orange Sticks and Slices, Conversation Hearts, 3Musketeers, Mike and Ikes, Good & Plenty (double barf...who buys these?), Dots, Snaps, etc.
And then I wrote to Tootsie Roll Industries again and begged them to please bring the candies back and give them a better chance with better marketing and that I'd personally buy at least one case of them. And then I asked why they discontinued them..."was it because they caused cancer in lab rats?" I asked.
Because I would take my chances with the cancer if that was the case. I mean first of all, I'm a lot bigger than a rat. Second of all, those studies are often wrong. And third of all, Junior Mints Candy Coated Minis are amazing...and you've got to die of something or from something anyway...so why not die in complete minty bliss?
But they haven't answered that email yet.
I can't imagine any other logical reason for discontinuing such a tasty holiday treat other than cancer in lab rats.
Anyway, I'm just wishing and hoping and praying that by some miracle Tootsie Roll Industries will give these candies another chance.
If you feel as passionately as I do about this issue, please take the time to leave Tootsie Roll Industries a comment about your disgust at the loss of these candies.
It only takes a minute.
And it could change the world.
7 comments:
You are certainly passionate about this. I'm sorry I don't share your passion. I'm still fine with Mint M and M's. However, I agree with your list of candies that the world could do without. Yet, I personally know people that really like those candies. Each to his own, I guess.
I know people that like all of the candy listed on your yukky list. Really I do.
But I also know people that loved the minis. Good idea to write and beg.
They should discontinue tootsie rolls. They are disgusting. Whenever I get one, I throw it away. I will write to them.
Actually, my dad likes most of the candies that I put on the Yuck List. That's how I know about those gross candies.
And I'm not saying that we need to discontinue the Yuck List...even people with bad taste in candy deserve to have their favorite...I'm just saying they shouldn't discontinue my favorite candy. That's all.
Oh, and EB, if they discontinued Tootsie Rolls not only would it break my mom's heart but the company would have to be renamed. So, that's just one gross candy we might have to put up with.
The cancer labs Bret has worked in have had mice, not rats. Maybe because they can fit more in a cage and researchers are less likely to lose a finger. So your bigger-than-a-rat theory is even better now because humans are much, much bigger than a mouse. Good luck getting your candy back.
I forgot to mention your mention of coffee tables in heaven. Good one.
I've never had these before! It sounds like I'm really missing out. Bummer. Hope you have a Merry Christmas anyway!
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