I've got to be honest here.
Some Sundays I really wish I had one of these...
a Get Out Of Jail Free card.
Here's how it works...
High Councilor getting a little long winded? Sniff your baby's bum, grab the diaper bag and walk out. Nobody will think you are rude, nor will they question whether or not your baby actually needed a diaper change. In fact, they will thank you for changing your baby's diaper before they smelled anything (especially true for older babies).
Dying of hunger or thirst during Sacrament Meeting? Grab your kid, baby bottle or sippy cup, fruit snacks and goldfish crackers, and walk out to the hall for a tasty snack. No one has to know it's you that is uncontrollably hungry and thirsty and not your kid.
Having a hard time concentrating in Sunday School? Purposely let your child misbehave...give them loud or otherwise annoying toys or let them run around the back of the room. Then, minutes later when they become visibly obnoxious to those around you, take the kid out. Let your face flush a bit and people will think that you're so embarrassed that your kid is such a hellion, but really you are the hellion who just wants to get out of studying Isaiah.
These are just a few examples of using the Get Out Of Jail Free card in church. I'm sure you can all think of more...ones you may even be guilty of using yourself. I think pretty much every parent uses the card at one time or another.
And the bad thing about being a childless spinster is that you're stuck...for three straight hours. Because really the only thing you can do to get out of a meeting in progress is to start coughing uncontrollably. And, really, you can only do that about once or so a year. Any more than that and people will start thinking you have tuberculosis and will avoid you. And you don't want that to happen.
So, you just stick out those high councilor talks and lessons on Isaiah and hope that someday, someone, will come up with a socially acceptable hall pass for people of all walks of life.
But until then, I'll endure to the end and will use my uncanny ability to daydream as a mental escape in times of need.
Oh, and am I aware that my nephew is beyond adorable? Yes, yes I am.
And, I'm afraid that so is he.
Just look at Mr. Rico Suave. Eight months old and already knows how to work a crowd.
8 comments:
That is one cute little boy!
Come to Brazil. It appears to me that no excuse is necessary to walk out.
Love the Rico too.
I've done it. Church just makes me tired. So - I take Tate in the mother's lounge during Sunday Schoool. We hit the lights, take off our shoes, sit in the rocking chair and take little snooze. I once woke up drooling a little. OOPS!
And Mitch is so adorable!
In our ward, I'm pretty sure you can walk in and out without anyone noticing or caring. People do it all of the time with or without kids. I think everyone just assumes they are working on their calling or had to go to primary for some reason or other.
Becca!
I love your blog. I have to say that I have used my children as an excuse to exit tiresome meetings-- but on the other hand I feel justified because I have also been in some pretty embarrassing situations where my child LOUDLY pooped on me during the sacrament. (more than once :)
Totally wish I had that card last Sunday! and he's real cute. Do you think Lee and Kim would loan little Rico out?
He is a little stud!! I think my ward must be like Tallies, we have adults getting up and leaving Sac all the time! I personally think it is the girls (women) that got a new dress and want the rest of us in the back to see how good they look today! (as we sit back there with gold fish stuck to one of our 4 skirts we dare wear to church!)
You forgot to mention your ward hopping idea from lack of church attire! HILARIOUS yet WISE!
That card only works if you know that no one will follow you. When my youngest was a baby I was called to be in the primary presidency, and without fail, every Sacrament meeting with Youngest would get tired and hungry, I'd head to the mother's lounge for a little R&R for both of us. Not two seconds after Youngest was sound asleep (and so was I) the door would open, light would flood in, both of us would jerk awake, and there would be the primary president, come to have a little pow-wow before primary. Oh my drooping eyes...
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