me. saving you money.

This is a Public Service Announcement. I'm going to save you money. No, I'm not going to tell you about some great rebates or how you can cut out or print off a million different coupons and then add them all together and use them to save you tons of money which almost offsets the money you spend on paper and print cartridges to print all your coupons, the gas you burn driving to 10 different stores to do your shopping, and all the stamps you use to send in rebates. (No offense couponers. I'm actually a little jealous of your skills.) Instead, I'm just going to tell you how I've wasted money lately and try to warn you not to do the same. Money waster #1... Let me just say that if you were at all considering going to the theater to see "The Invention of Lying," DON'T. Just trust me on this one. I went to see it on opening night. It looked super funny. The previews looked funny. The idea of the story is super funny. And, I usually love Ricky Gervais. Jennifer Garner usually doesn't bother me too bad. I love Tina Fey (especially in 30 Rock). And besides those three actors who I like, there were a couple of my favorite Arrested Development actors playing small parts in the movie. So I thought 'this movie is going to be super.' But it wasn't. And it made me a little sad because it had so much potential. Great actors and a really funny idea. But it was stupid, kind of crude, and pretty sacrilegious. And I'm not just saying that because it was just Conference Weekend and I'm all spiritual right now. And the movie was kind of sad too because sometimes the truth is harsh and I think we need a few little lies to make the world a nicer place. Does that make me evil? Hopefully not. I mean, honestly, what if everybody went around all the time telling each other "you're fat and stupid"? And I'm not just talking about your brother telling you that when you're home fighting while your mom is at the grocery store on Saturday afternoon. I'm talking about people being completely blunt and mean all the time. Because really, the truth can be pretty cruel. So I'd rather live in the land of not being brutally honest all of the time. The movie made me kind of sad because I thought to myself, 'we humans are kind of jerks when we really say what we think.' Anyway, I'm just telling you, don't waste your time or money. I promise. I don't think Lee, Kim, or Ty really liked it either so there are 4 thumbs down for you to consider. Now I've saved you: 8 dollars if you are single, 16 dollars if you are married, and even more money if you live in New York, L.A., London, or Idaho Falls, ID where it costs more than 8 dollars to see a movie. And, if you are the type who has to have your popcorn and soda, well then I guess I've saved you even more. You can thank me later.

Now on to money waster #2... TURKEY SAUSAGE. So, those who know me well know that when it comes to meat I'm pretty picky. I don't like pepperoni, salami, bacon, sausage, hamburger (unless it is the SUPER lean kind and now that I've been reading book about Prion diseases I'm not sure I like hamburger at all anymore), or any other meat where you can see, feel or taste the actual fat. Even with chicken I have to trim off every bit of fat, tendons, blood vessels and other non-meat parts. It takes me FOREVER to cook anything with meat in it because of my meataphobia. But I do like the flavor of bacon and sausage at least. So my roommate had this yummy looking recipe for soup that has sausage, orzo, spinach, etc. in it. And since it is now freezing cold here I decided to make it while I was sort of listening to conference on Saturday. And I used turkey sausage. And it was sick. The sausage was a good brand, wasn't past date, and everything, but it just had a weird herb or spice flavor in it that sort of made me gag. So, after I made up this whole pot of soup and decided that it was the turkey sausage that was sick and not the soup, I pulled all of the sausage out of the soup and threw it away. And saved the soup in honor of my mother and my gma Fern who never throw food away. So now I have a big pot of sausage, spinach, orzo soup minus the sausage. It isn't half bad really. Oh, and also, you'd think turkey sausage would be all lean and nice but there were still chunks of fat and miscellaneous things that I had to pick out before cooking. So, my money saving tip is not to buy turkey sausage. It is sick. But that is just my opinion.

So, now that you've saved all this money because of my two warnings you're probably asking yourselves, 'What am I going to do with all this extra money?' Well, let me tell you.

I've started selling MaryKay cosmetics and I'd like to have a party at your house and, using social pressures, force-sell you and all your friends some makeup. Just kidding. Oh, and if any of you are MaryKay reps, no offense, eh? But please don't ever ask me to host a party. Especially if you are going to make my guests chant "MARY KAY ROCKS!" which I was honestly asked to chant once at a MaryKay party that my mom MADE me go to. It was horrible and I'm not quite sure I've forgiven my mom for that one just yet. No, no Mary Kay, Amway, or Scentsy. This opportunity is a feel good, warm, fuzzy, donation that won't benefit anyone financially. I'm gathering children's books to donate to two different causes, one in Ethiopia and the other in Panama. And I thought to myself, 'hey, I think that like 99.9% of my blog readers are married mommies. They should know a thing or two about children's books.' The books we are trying to gather can be new or nicely used (like probably if you have 16 OOC kids, your books won't be nicely used). We need Spanish or Spanish/English books for a library that is being built for the Kuna Indians in Kuna Yala, Panama. Which I guess would have to be new unless any of you have kids that hablar espanol or if you are tight with any Hispanics who you can hit up for books. (Oh, and if you click on the link to find out more about Kuna Yala, don't be afraid. These people aren't Nazis. They just happen to have a swastika on their flag. But I promise, they are nice people.) And we need the English books for the High Risk Children's Center (aka: Orphanage) at the Village of Hope in Ethiopia. So, if your kids are all grown up, or if you've finally accepted the fact that your kids are more into video games than books, you can send your old books my way and I'll make sure they get to people who need them. So, in conclusion, if you have a bunch of children's books that aren't being used, if you know of someone who does, or if you are just feeling super generous and giving during this Halloween season and want to either go online and buy some books (especially Spanish books) or donate money for us to purchase books with, then that would be much appreciated. Oh, and any donations of money will be TAX DEDUCTIBLE. Yay! Keep the $$$ out of Barack's hands. And this will be sort of be an ongoing project for the next year, so if you have books to give but just don't want to take the time to find them all right now, or have money to give but want it to be from your 2010 taxes instead, then that's A-okay. And since I'm not into using social pressures to encourage people to do good, if you want to participate in this little project, you can either: 1) Leave me a comment and I'll contact you with more details or, better yet 2) Go to the "Email me" button on the right side of my blog page and let me know that you want to help. If the button won't work for some reason, just email me at beccalasolterona @ gmail.com. Oh, and don't get worried if I don't email you right back. I'm going to Panama this weekend and won't have Internet access for a week. And then, after you are done emailing me you can go back and leave me a comment anyway. Because, as you all know, I LOVE comments. But, no pressure to participate. Only if you want to. I hate pressuring people and I hate being pressured. Remember that Mary Kay party my mom made me go to? Yeah, I hated that. I'll leave you with three final words that you can repeat out loud with me, if you'd like... MARY KAY ROCKS!