Sunday, August 23, 2009

Africa: Part 1 REVISED (Picture Overload Warning!)

Okay, let's start this post off with a trivia question... What is the capital of Africa? Think hard and give me the answer in the comment you leave because I know that you will ALL leave a comment when you see what hard work I've gone through to share pretty much a million pictures from my Africa trip with you. Don't look online or cheat in any other way (like asking another person) but just write what you think in a comment and I'll give you the answer in my Africa: Part 2 post that is coming soon to a blog near you (that's my blog). This summer I spent five weeks in Africa. Three of those five weeks were spent in Ghana. So, Africa: Part 1 will cover most of my Ghana pics and Africa: Part 2 will cover the rest of the trip. And I still don't have a lot of the pictures that I wanted to use because they were pictures taken on my friends' cameras and since I haven't been to Utah since the end of April I haven't gotten their pictures yet. So, I just had to use my pictures and a few of my friend Ryan's pictures that I stole off his Facebook page. If I get any super duper good pics later I'll share those too. For now though, here you go... I went to Ghana with a group from the University of Utah mostly made up of Public Health students like me. Here's a picture of our group with some of the locals that helped us with our projects.
This is Carl. He is like the coolest guy ever. He was our local planner, organizer, tour guide, barterer, cultural resource, etc. Turns out he's Mormon. I knew he was too amazing not to be.
I really loved Ghana...in spite of the fact that they are a bunch of Obama LOVERS. Obama made a visit to Ghana just a week or two after I was there so everybody was talking about it, selling Obama t-shirts, Obama paintings, and the van owner in this picture even wrote "Obama Welcome" on the back of his van. 'Great,' I thought to myself, 'I'm probably going to hate these people.' But I didn't. Especially when you realize that none of them realize or know anything about his politics or how he is ruining America. Also, since they can't vote in US elections I guess it doesn't matter that they love him.
We stayed in a pretty big city called Kumasi, Ghana. I don't know how many millions live there. I'm pretty sure not even the people there know how big the city is. The following picture shows our bus stuck in traffic. I even had time to hop out and buy some mangoes and a SIM card thanks to the traffic.

Here are just some city scenes. You'll notice a lot of people carrying stuff on their heads. Ghanaians use their heads to carry stuff (water, food, TP, clothing, etc.) I think more than any other place I've been...including the other parts of Africa I've traveled to. Ghanaians must have some majorly strong necks and excellent balance. The following is the section of pictures I'd like to label "GOATS." Goats are EVERYWHERE in Ghana. Some of them look like sheep but don't be fooled, they are goats. At least that's what the people there told us. Maybe they just don't distinguish between goats and sheep. Here are some goats just chillin in the middle of the city. Okay, I can't take credit for this cool picture. It is actually Ryan's goat picture, not mine, but I think it is super cool so I thought I'd share. Here's a little goat crossing a wooden plank bridge. And a goat just hanging out by the front door. By the way, scratched into the paint to the right of the door you can see the words "I AM BLESSED." I liked that. Goat on your front porch, fabric for a door and they consider themselves blessed. Not a bad outlook. Some kids just relaxing in front of their house. This is in a little village outside of Kumasi. Most of the villagers actually live in houses (even though they aren't that great) as compared to the villagers where I went in Ethiopia who pretty much all lived in huts. Ghana is actually pretty well off compared to the rest of Africa.
Getting decent pictures of or with the kids is pretty tricky. The minute they see the camera they go crazy and all try to shove into the picture, make funny faces, give the peace sign, etc. And they LOVE getting their pictures taken...especially now that with digital cameras they can see their pictures. Some of the younger kids don't recognize themselves when you show them the picture. They don't have a lot of mirrors in the village. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, actually not I guess. How would you know your hair was messed up if you didn't have a mirror?
Anyway, I was able to get a few decent pictures of individual kids or at least small groups. Since the kids are so picture crazy most of the pictures I took out in the village were of the kids so I have plenty to share.
A bunch of kids in their school uniforms. Apparently in order to go to public school the only requirement or cost is that the kids have a uniform and still many kids cannot go to school because their parents cannot afford a uniform for them. Sad.
These kids aren't just giving their little siblings piggy back rides for fun. They carry around their younger siblings that can't yet walk and take care of them while their moms cook dinner, do laundry, etc. I've seen some pretty little kids caring for even younger kids.
This little guy was just chillin in front of the Catholic church/community center in the village. Somebody wrote in marker "PLEASE SWITCH OFF YOUR PHONE" to the side of the church door. I love that even in a little village in Africa they have problems with people's cell phones going off in church. You wouldn't think that any of them would even have cell phones but some do. It is just weird that this little village skipped the whole land line era and went right to cell phones.
If you can't already tell just by looking at my hair, it was pretty freaking hot and humid in Ghana. So while we were waiting for our bus to come pick us up and take us back into the city I was just fanning myself with this little battery powered fan. Then I stared showing it to the kids and the next thing I knew I had a crowd. Too bad the SECOND the kids saw that someone was taking a picture of us they all started to make the peace sign and shove into the picture or it would have been a cuter picture. Oh well. We mostly worked either at the teaching hospital in Kumasi or out in a group of villages just outside of Kumasi. Village life was pretty interesting. The following are pictures of the villages and villagers.
The is the bathroom in Barakuma (one of the villages). Thanks to my bladder and gut o' steel and the fact that I sweat out everything I drank I never had to use any gross bathrooms. This is an open pit latrine which is basically a big hole with some wooden slats over the top. SICK.
I liked this mud house with a bright blue door and I love how they painted the door and then some. I guess they wanted to use the whole bucket of paint.
Some of the villagers wanted us to take a picture with them. One of them told me that they liked my outfit and that the next time I come I should bring another set of clothes so I could leave it for them. I'm glad they liked my outfit because I sure didn't. I bought the most random ugly clothes at Target like the night before I left for Africa. Apparently my lack of style didn't matter to anyone else but me.
A cute older couple in the village. They wanted their picture taken so I took it. A lot of the older people don't like their pictures taken so I was glad these two did.
A beauty salon in one of the villages. Too bad it was closed because I for sure would have gotten my hair cut there. Oh well, maybe next time.
And too bad I'm not a guy because I could have gotten one of these snazzy haircuts. I love the guy with the flat top and sunglasses. Awesome. The village. I think with open sewage running through. God bless America.
While I was in Ghana I worked mostly on a parasite study at the hospital. Some of the days though I worked with groups doing census and GPS mapping work as well as a group doing a nutritional study. We walked around the villages and got to know some of the locals. The following picture is a few of us with some of the villagers we met. I liked their yard because they actually had a sort of landscaped yard, which is pretty rare there. And painted on their house in the background is the saying, "Laziness is a crime, punishable by poverty." They said it, not me.
In Barakuma (the main village we worked in) they have a Catholic church that also serves as a community center and pretty much everything else. This is a picture of the inside of the church. Probably one of the funniest moments of the trip for me was being in a nutritional focus group meeting and seeing Apia, the Muslim community leader we worked with a lot, walk to the back of the church while we were having a meeting and hauk a loogie outside through the hole in the cross. Classy.
There are ALL sorts of Christian denominations in Ghana. I don't even know where they fit in Christianity...Lutheran, Presbitarian, Baptist, Anglican?...I really don't know if they fit into any of those catagories. The names of the churches would just be names like, "Christ Savior Shepherd Church," or "Lord Jesus Save Us All Church." Random.
But basically there are Christians and Muslims there and from what I could see they all seem to get along pretty well. Everyone is SUPER religious but they all seem to be pretty much generically religious so as long as you believe in God or Allah or Jesus Christ you are allright. It is kind of weird. They just don't really care about the divisions in religion like they do in some places. We asked on of the Muslims if he was Shiite or Sunni and he said that he was neither...he was just Muslim. Interesting.
So everybody is religious in some way and they carry that religion into their everyday lives. Probably about 80 percent of their business/store names have something to do with religion. I thought they were funny so I wrote some down. These are real names of stores in Ghana. Shepherd Jesus Fast Food
Christ the Lord Barber
In God We Trust Fashion
God is Mighty Plumbing and Tile
Precious Jesus Enterprize
God First Fried Rice
Jesus Opens Doors Barber and Salon
The Blood of Jesus Fast Food
Alpha and Omega Fast Food
Prince of Peace International Store
Lord Jesus Christ is My Shepherd Mart
Showers of Blessings Financial Services
Glory Be to God Fast Food
By His Grace Rasta Hair
The Lord's Hand is Stretched Out Salon
The Lord Our Banner Fashion
Lion of Judah Construction
Great Provider Salon
Anointing Phone Repairs
Give Thanks Saloon (as in a place you get alcohol)
God is my Provider Fast Food
To God Be the Glory Internet Cafe
Jesus Never Fails Fashion Center
Except (not accept) the Lord Ventures
God Gives Spaying (yes, and God takes away)
Amen Scientific Herbal Hospital
God Bless You Enterprize
Christian and Muslim Tailors
And here are a few non-religious that I thought were funny.
Ninja Fast Food
Salon de-Love
Magnetic Hotel (not sure if I want to know what that means)
Black Taliban Moblie
Three Pee's Fast Food
It Taste Good Fast Food
I think my favorite has to be God First Fried Rice. Which one is your favorite?
When we weren't working out in the villages we were usually at the hospital working on the parasite prevalence study. This is a picture of the front reception area at the hospital. Yes, all those papers you see there are people's medical records just stacked all over the place. Somehow they are organized but I don't know how. The sign at the front says, "Reception and Complaints," and let me just tell you if I had to go to that hospital I'd definitely have some complaints to make.
Behind the front reception area is a HUGE waiting room. Not a nice, comfortable waiting room with cushy chairs, water fountains, vending machines and bathrooms. Just a bunch of wooden benches with HUNDREDS of patients waiting to be seen. I wanted so bad to get a picture of it but I just felt bad taking a picture of people in a situation like that, so I didn't.
It is probably a good thing that their records aren't computerized yet. While we were in Kumasi the power went out several times. They seemed to get it back on pretty quickly but for some reason after that all the Internet service (in a city of millions of people) was down for days. Also, after the power outages for some reason the plumbing in the hospitals got all messed up and there was no running water for a couple of days meaning no working bathrooms. I'm glad I had my bladder and gut o' steel but I still felt bad for all the those sick people without toilets that would flush. And that is what a public hospital in Ghana is like. And it is one of the nicest public hospitals in the country I hear.
Well, at least they don't try to hide that health care isn't so great there. As you can see from the picture there are ambulances lined up going into the hospital and hearses going out. Yay for universal health care!
And for your convienience, if things don't work out so well for your family member in the hospital, you can just run across the street and purchase a casket. There are several styles and colors to choose from. Or better yet, if you are the sick person, you can pick out your own casket while you are stuck in traffic on the way into the hospital. That way you'll get what you really want.
A use for a lawn chair that I never would have imagined. But hey, 10 points for creativity.
And although they may be behind the times in some ways, when it comes to transfusions they are way ahead of the rest of the world. According to this sign they even do head transfusions. Can you imagine when some good looking person died everyone would be fighting over their head? Boy would that be a mess. Okay, just kidding that would be a head transplant, not a head transfusion, but it is what came to my mind for some reason when I saw the sign. Maybe I'm weird.
Here is a little parasite (I think ringworm) under the microscope that we found when we were doing our parasite prevalence study. We actually found a lot of parasites. We even found a tapeworm in ova form...there it was, my dream come true, sitting on a slide in front of my face...easy weightloss via parasitic tapeworm infection. All I would have had to do was lick that slide and I would have been Keira Knightly within months. But, I couldn't do it. I guess it never occured to me that if I wanted to eat a tapeworm that I'd probably have to eat feces. Oh, if I could just get one in a purified form. Someday...
Just a random picture of a kid selling bags of water. Cheaper than bottled water but not too sanitary.
One weekend we took a never ending bus ride on the worst roads in the world for about 8 hours up to a game reserve called Mole National Park. That is pronounced Mol-A and isn't pronounced like the little rodent or round brown thing on your face. We went on a walking safari to see some elephants and other African animals. It had rained a lot the night before which explains our big rain boots. (Christa and Kate, does that bring back memories of Costa Rica? It sure did for me.)
These elephants posed perfectly for me. Thank you elephants.
Me and elephants. I'm the one wearing the raincoat.
Baboons scare me. They are mean and will steal any food you may have right out of your hands.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I loved that they had a speed bump sign on this horrible dirt road with potholes big enough to lose a child in. As if they need speed bumps or even one little bumpy road warning sign. The whole road was terrible. I was sitting in the back of the bus on the way to Mole and caught air on one of the bumps and cracked a filling in my tooth. I would suggest flying to Mole if you ever want to go.
There were lots of creepy bugs in Ghana. Check out this huge beetle Ryan is holding! Some of the people in my group saw a scorpion the size of a small cat. I was glad that I wasn't there to see that. One of the locals stabbed the scorpion with a butcher knife and it didn't die until they stabbed it a bunch of times. That's how big it was. Yikes!
On the way back from Mole we stopped at this Muslim mosque which is the oldest mosque in Sub-Saharan Africa. I think it was built in the 1300's or so. It is the pokey building behind me.
Lots of the kids in the town were sitting or hanging from the beams that stuck out of the mosque. I mean it is only like 700 years old. Whey wouldn't you let the local kids use it for a jungle gym? It was kind of cute though to see the kids all playing on the mosque.
This is a view of the Volta River, one of the main rivers in Ghana. It is quite pretty. Just don't swim in the water unless you want schistosomiasis and that is one parasite that I don't want. Tapeworm, yes, schistosomiasis, no thank you.
Soccer is HUGE in Ghana as it is pretty much everywhere but the US. These guys were all loaded up on this van either going to a soccer game or just cheering for their soccer team. I'm not sure what they were really doing but I thought I'd take a picture anyway.
We stopped in a little town on the way back from Mole that had a monkey sanctuary nearby. These kids were apparently the cool kids in town.
A picture of a little goat herder in that same town.
The monkey sancutary was pretty much a dissapointment, especially since we drove like an hour out of the way to get there. I guess I just don't like monkeys. They are kind of annoying and scary. I did, however, think that this tree in the monkey sanctuary was cool.
Kids at school in one of the villages we worked in.
Just a lady with a bowl on her head and a baby on her back.
I know this is probably too small to read but it says, "DO NOT URINATE HERE AGAIN. BY ORDER." It is kind of funny. They have "Do not urninate here" signs painted all over the place. Some of the paintings even include illustrations in case you don't know what urinate means. I think it is quite progressive really. Yay for Ghana.
Here is another one. Seriously, are guys that lazy? The bathroom is like two steps away from this sign. Funny. This is a lady in one of the villages getting potable water for her family from a standpipe. Can you imagine how heavy that water would be on your head and how it would ruin your hairdo? Talk about a hurt neck and a bad hair day!
I liked this kid's shirt. It says "Adorable Ewe" and has a little sheep on it. It reminds me of a shirt I had as a kid that I think my dad bought me at the Reno Ram Sale. It said, "Ewes not fat, ewes just fluffy," with some sheep on the shirt. I wonder if this t-shirt was once at a ram sale in Nevada.
If you don't have a fancy play pen, stick your kid in a basket. Not a bad idea, not bad at all.
We were at a clothing store in Kumasi and I just thought it was funny that their mannequin was this little sweet bro white dude mannequin. So, I posed for a picture. The arm in the background was that of my friend Robert. Robert is from Uganda, so obviously, he's black. And right before the picture was taken he was like, "hey I'll stick my arm in the picture so people will know you are in Africa." Right Robert, because there are no black people in the US so if you're black arm is in my picture everybody will know that the picture was taken in Africa for sure. Haaaaaaaaa!
At church in Kumasi. I love going to church all around the world. The members are always a cut above the rest. They had such an amazing spirit in their ward. A country road in Ghana. I just liked this picture.
This lady is smashing up palm nuts to make a palm nut soup. The food wasn't too great there. They eat a lot of starchy casava and sick fish stuff. Everything is pretty fattening so even though I didn't eat a lot I didn't lose any weight. Dang it!
After we were done with our work in Kumasi, we headed to the Ghanaian coast, to a place called Basua. It was pretty gorgeous there and the water was a great temperature for swimming. This was the view from our hotel rooms.
I took the following picture at Coconut Grove, which was somewhat near Basua. We ate lunch at a nice restaurant there. Obama was scheduled to eat at that same restaurant a couple of weeks later. After we were done eating we were just sitting talking and I saw a RAT scurry up a rafter in the restaurant. All I could think was haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa, Obama is going to eat here and there are rats! I didn't even care that I had just eaten there. These next two pictures are of the Elmina slave castle. This was one of the places that slaves were held until they could be loaded onto ships heading to the Americas. It is actually quite a picturesque place although pretty sad. We went back to Accra where everyone headed their own separate ways. Those of us traveling on to southern Africa had an extra couple of days in Accra. We spent most of our time at the temple or in the big new modern mall in Accra. After three weeks out in the villages both the temple and the mall were WONDERFUL to us in their own ways. And may I just say that whoever decorated the inside of the Accra temple did a fantastic job. I think it is one of the best decorated temples I've ever been in.

I'm sick to death of this post and I bet you are too. The end.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

If only I were as cool as a bull-riding monkey...

Back to the real world on Monday...school starts yet again. I hate that end of summer, beginning of school dread. Especially since I have some major items on my To Do List such as: 1) Decide for sure which classes I'm taking and/or if I even want to finish my Master's Degree. 2) Find a place in SLC to live. Homeless shelter maybe? Under a bridge? In my car? Orphanage? Who knows. 3) Maybe find a part-time job in SLC if there's something that will work with my school schedule. 4) Oh, and then FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. That one has been on my To Do List for about 15 years. I wonder when/if I'll ever be able to check that off. 5) Catch up on blogging. I know, I know, I'm way behind.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Single in a Double Occupancy World...

Single...
In a Double Occupancy World
Okay, first of all may I just say how excited I am to finally have a use for the picture of the Siamese twin banana that I found at the grocery store in Brazil last month. Have you ever eaten a Siamese twin banana? I had never even seen a Siamese twin banana before this one and so I thought it was pretty cool. I guess I'm easily entertained.
Second of all, I will warn you that unlike my last post, this post is a sappy post of me complaining about my sorry lonely life. So, if that isn't your thing, you can stop reading right now. But if you do decide to read on, consider yourself forewarned. So right now I should be on my way to Sweden for my 30th birthday but I'm not. I wasn't ever really sure that I'd be able to pull off the trip which is why I didn't want a ton of people knowing that I was trying to go. But, somehow a lot of you did find out that I was trying to put together a shotgun trip to Scandinavia. I guess I'm not that good at keeping things quiet. Anyway, the reason I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull it off or not was because I didn't actually get my ticket until LATE Wednesday night. Yes, less than a week ago and I was supposed to fly out TODAY. Earlier this year I was trying to get a little trip together for August but potential travel partners were falling out like flies. That is a saying, isn't it? Well, if it isn't a saying what I mean to say is that I'd find one person that would think they could go with me and we'd get looking at tickets and stuff and then a few weeks later they'd tell me that it wasn't working out for them to go. So, then I'd find another person that acted interested in going and we'd start to plan the trip and then they'd back out too. I have never had such a hard time finding someone to travel with me. I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyway, by the time I planned and unplanned the trip with several people and nothing was working out, it was the end of July. Part of the problem was that during what should have been prime planning time I was in Africa with prehistoric Internet service so I wasn't able to plan as well. And more often than not, I'm the trip planner, the one trying to talk everybody else into going, so I guess if I'm not able to actively bug/convince people to go with me then nothing happens. So anyway...last week, in an act of desperation/depression after finding out that the Antarctica cruise I'd wanted to go on was sold out (because I'd held on trying to find someone to go with me) I decided to call up United and see if I could find a ticket to Scandinavia using some old frequent flyer miles that I've had for a long time and had just never used. And, they had a ticket, and a really great one at that. So, I got the ticket and started researching Scandinavia and just decided that I'd go alone. Anyway, super long story short, this morning, after staying up most of the night packing and still trying to plan things, I just decided not to go. Of course I can't just be like a normal person and decide more than 6 hours before my flight was supposed to leave. Anyway, I wish that I had just decided several months ago to go solo on this trip so I would have actually started planning more in advance. Because it wasn't so much the travelling alone that made me decide to not go (since I'm probably safer in Scandinavia than I am in SLC alone) it was more just the fact that I didn't have ANYTHING really planned in advance and because of that the trip was going to be a lot more expensive than it would have been if planned in advance and there were some things I wanted to do that were already sold out. And I wouldn't have time to get a Eurail pass and so my train tickets were going to cost me double of what they would have if I'd had even a few weeks in advance to plan. Sometimes it is fun to just not plan in advance and go with the flow, but it is a lot chancier doing that when you are going to be alone. It is just that when you are traveling alone you are a little more limited in where you can stay, if you're on a budget like I am, and I was having a hard time finding a decent place to stay for a decent price (even on Scandinavian pricing terms) and I didn't want to get to a city and end up not being able to find a cheap room and having to spend like 400 dollars on a hotel room. At least when you're with someone you can split the cost or if you have to end up sleeping in a train station or something at least you can take turns sleeping and guarding your luggage so you don't get robbed and stuff. Okay, so that is just the BACKGROUND (sorry it was so long) for my whiny post titled "Single in a Double Occupancy World." I'm starting to think that there is some big international conspiracy against single people, especially when it comes to traveling because they sure don't make traveling as a single person easy and affordable. For example, for me traveling alone, just getting from the Stockholm airport to the Stockholm city center via train was going to cost me around 63 dollars round trip. BUT, for two adults traveling together both can go for 65 dollars round trip. And, those two people can bring up to 4 children under the age of 18 for FREE. So, basically, airport transfer in Stockholm for a family of 6 would be 65 dollars and for just one poor single person it would be 63. Really fair, isn't it? And from a business standpoint this doesn't even make since. I mean you might want to offer some sort of a family or group discount to encourage large groups to travel in your country, but they aren't really benefiting too much from this deal. They are making like and extra 2 bucks and allowing 5 extra people to crowd up the train. So, basically the single people are carrying the main financial burden for the train, kind of like we do with taxes in the USA. Okay, so I get that hotel rooms are cheaper if you split it with another person. I get that hotels aren't going to give a single person a room for half as much money as a couple would pay. That makes sense, when they can make double with the same amount of space, why wouldn't they? But why not just build some smaller single rooms? And at some of the hostels I looked into I could pay the same amount to stay in a huge dorm room with 15 stinky Germans as a couple could each pay for a private double room. Now that just doesn't make sense to me. There are all sorts of discounts for travel...group discounts, family discounts, student discounts, senior citizen discounts, military discounts, teacher discounts, etc., but I've never seen a SINGLE PERSON DISCOUNT. In fact, single people pay more. Here's a great example of that. So I've been looking into going on a cruise to South America an Antarctica next year. I haven't been able to find anyone who can or who wants to go. So finally last week I called the cruise company to find out about just going alone. I knew that they had a program called "Single Share" where if you want to go on a cruise by yourself instead of having to pay for the whole double occupancy cabin by yourself they'll match you with another single person of your same sex who hopefully won't be a complete psycho and cut off your ear and eat it during the night. So, this cruise is 1900 dollars, which for a 20 day cruise covering 4 countries and Antarctica is pretty much a steal of a deal. So, you'd think that the "Single Share" price might be just the 1900 for your half of the room plus maybe even 100 or 200 extra dollars to cover the cruise company's costs of organizing the roommate thing. That made sense to me. But, no, that's not how it is at all. Instead they told me that the "Single Share" cost would be about 3400 dollars! What the what the? So, I could either pay 3400 dollars to share my cabin with a complete stranger and potential be killed and eaten in the night or worse, or I could just pay 3800 for the whole cabin by myself. So basically it is like you pay for two people but just one gets to go. Shoot I might as well just pay for someone to go with me if I was going to do that! So the greedy cruise company (which I believe plays a major part in the conspiracy against single people) will make 6800 dollars off a cabin with two single people in it, verses 3800 dollars off a double occupancy situation. How does this make sense? How is this even fair? Someday, I believe, the next generation will look back on our time right now and say to themselves, "How did they ever treat single people so crappy?" just like I look back at the pre-Civil Rights era or pre-Feminist movement and think to myself, 'What were people thinking? How could they be so cruel?' Anyway, so basically, sometimes it really sucks being single. That's all. Now I need to go unpack my bags. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the airline let me change the dates of my tickets and I didn't have to pay a fee, so that was nice. They do that for single and married people I guess. Progressive. Anyway, I'm now scheduled to go in June of next year. So, if anybody wants to see the midnight sun in Scandinavia with me next year, let me know. If I can't get anyone to go with me at least I'll have more time to plan and can maybe find some better deals.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Even nice people are stupid sometimes...

Okay, people, please don't take this post as a sappy post of me complaining about my sorry lonely life. It isn't meant to be that. Instead it should be taken as an instructional post as I love all my blog commenters and sort of like some of my blog leeches and I don't want any of you to ever be STUPID, because even nice people are stupid sometimes.
Let me set the scene....
Cousin's wedding reception. Young cousin. Maybe 20 years old. Marrying nice guy in the temple at the "normal" age for marrying. Perfect.
Enter me. Nearly 30. Severely single. At said wedding reception. Trying not to feel awkward. Holding my darling little cousin William as a distraction and if nothing else as a conversation starter for people who don't know what to say to a SINGLE PERSON (Awkward). At least they can say, "Oh isn't he darling," or "Whose baby is this," etc.
Enter *Ruth. Ruth is a very nice distant relative that I see at weddings and funerals. Ruth is friendly and fun and NICE. Normally. I like Ruth because she is friendly and goes out of her way to talk to me.
Me. Sitting at a table with non distant relatives. Chat chat chat. Ruth sits down next to me. More chat chat chat. Friendly friendly friendly. THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN out of NOWHERE Ruth hits me with a zinger. "SO, ARE YOU STILL SINGLE???" she says.
SILENCE around the whole table as all eyes look my way. 'What will the unstable crazy single girl say?,' people wonder...
Me: "Yup."
Me again mostly to break the awkward SILENCE: "So Ruth, are you STILL SINGLE???" By the way, Ruth is like a 70+ year old widow.
Ruth laughs and says, "Yes."
Me: "Well I'll keep my eyes open for a nice man for you to marry."
Conversation over. Two points Ruth. Ten points Becca.
SERIOUSLY, "are you still single?" What kind of a question is that? First of all I just saw and talked to Ruth at yet another cousin's wedding in April. I was single then. And because I'm not some Ricks College (aka:BYU IDAHO) student, I think it is safe to say that a few months later I would NOT BE MARRIED.
And, if by chance a miracle had occurred in those few months and I wasn't single anymore then wouldn't I have some awesome guy sitting next to me??? Or, wouldn't I have some major bling bling on my ring finger??? Or, if nothing else, wouldn't I just blurt it out to you because I would be so freaking ecstatic to NOT have to spend the next 60 years BY MYSELF only to be found dead and alone, half eaten by wild dogs at the age of 90??? Yes, yes, yes.
Dear Ruth,
If I am ever NOT STILL SINGLE, I will send you an invitation to my wedding reception. That is how you'll know. Until then, let's not repeat the conversation we had today.
Thank you, Becca
So tonight I'm laying in my bed thinking about this conversation and how maybe I can convince my mom to put "STILL SINGLE" on my headstone since she refuses to fulfill my dying wish of having "SPINSTER" on my headstone.
That gets me thinking about my future headstone... (I'm not really weird, I just couldn't sleep because the dread of 60 lonely years was hanging over me...that's why I was mentally designing my headstone.)
Anyway, I decided that if I can't have "SPINSTER" or "STILL SINGLE" on my headstone like I want that at least I should have some say in how it looks, and I decided that my headstone should:
definitely not have any hearts on it
nor birds
not a picture of trees and mountains
NO ANGELS for sure
Of course not a kitty or puppy
and NO shellacked pictures of me, please, please, please
How about just a nice upright rectangle or old school rectangle with a rounded top, my name, date of birth, date of death and maybe two straight lines, one thick one thin bordering the whole thing. Classy I think, don't you?
Okay, time for bed.
*name changed out of the kindness of my heart

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear President Obama...

Dear Barack,
I hate your "universal health care plan," and I hope it never ever passes. I just wanted you to know that.
With disdain,
Becca
Oh and P.S. When you say that your socialized medicine plan will not raise ANY sort of taxes for me since I make under $250,000 a year, I don't believe you...not for one second. You're such a little Joker Barack, now aren't you?
Hey everybody, I just thought I'd let you know that you should probably snitch on me because I don't agree with the president. At least that's what Obama wants you to do. Here's a little quote from the Official White House Internet site explaining it all. "There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spinning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via emails or through casual conversation. Since we can't keep track of them all here at the White House, we're asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems FISHY, send it to flag @ whitehouse.gov." WOW, Mr. Obama, would you also like us to send some books your way for you to burn? Maybe if you just burned all the books that don't support your policies and shut down all the Internet sites where there might be fishy rumors about socialized medicine you will COMPLETELY rule this country as the full dictator you would like to be. Oh no, we can't have people talking about politics via email or CASUAL CONVERSATION. Where would that lead?...Oh, maybe to people actually having an opinion and taking action against your policies before you spin anymore out of control! Mr. Obama, as a graduate student of Public Health, I have studied various universal or socialized health care plans that are in place throughout the world. I have also traveled to several countries where they have some form of socialized medicine. And let me tell you something, those plans DON'T work. Ask someone in the waiting line at the public hospital in Kumasi, Ghana who has been waiting for hours, maybe even overnight, to see a doctor and there are still 150 more people in front of them in line. Ask my parents' friend Irene who went to a public hospital in Brazil to get some lab tests done for some health problems she is experiencing and should see those lab results in about THREE months. Ask a lady I taught in my mission in Argentina who was going to the public hospital to receive chemotherapy for breast cancer. Some days she got treatment and other days she didn't...it just depended whether or not they had the medications she needed. They probably said to her, "Oh we're sorry, we know you have BREAST CANCER, but we just don't have any medicine today. Try back again tomorrow." As if an hour long bus ride to the hospital is easy for a 70 year-old with cancer! Yes, all people may have access to health care in these countries, but the health care disparity between rich and poor is still very apparent. The poor get health care but, what quality of health care? And the rich either just pay more money and go to a private doctor or hospital or they may just come to the United States of America to get their surgery or health care or they may just suck it up and take a lesser quality of health care with the poor people because they are already paying 20-25 percent taxes just to cover health care anyway, so they may as well use the "free" health care programs. The way I see it in the poorer, developing countries that have socialized medicine, the quality of care is pretty much horrible for the poor people and the richer people just pay in cash to go to private doctors and hospitals. In richer, more developed countries that have socialized medicine, they may still have pretty good health care but they PAY FOR IT with incredibly high taxes. We already have government programs to cover the health care costs of the poor, old, and handicapped. If there are any gaps in those programs I'm sure that those gaps would be covered by the donations of wealthy people in America to charities and NGOs, IF Americans weren't taxed so much. Leave the rich and even middle class alone and you'll find that they are pretty generous people. Today I spent over 400 dollars for a dermatologist appointment, lab tests, and prescriptions. And I didn't even fill one of the prescriptions I was given because it was way too expensive. I don't have health insurance. Well, just major medical. So, I had to pay that 400 dollars out of pocket. Too bad for me. I'm the one who CHOSE to quit my job and go back to school full time and so I'm the one who CHOSE to lose my health insurance. It isn't anyone's fault but mine and I don't expect anyone else to have to pay the consequences for my choice. (And just for the record, it is the ONLY bad thing about having quit my job...everything else = wonderful.) And if I get in dire straights I will just make little jars, put cute little labels on them that say, "Becca's Anti-ZIT fund," and will leave them at all the grocery store check stands. And nice people will drop their change into my Anti-zit fund and the world will be a wonderful place and we won't need some big government health plan to make it a wonderful place, because it already is. I'll close my ranting and raving with these words from Thomas Jefferson. "A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have." AMEN brother.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I guess I'm okay...

Today I got my hair cut and colored by my fabulous hair stylist Audrey. Usually when I'm getting color I'll wear an old t-shirt, just so I don't have to worry about staining one of my favorite shirts. So today I wore this nasty old Rex Lee 5K t-shirt that has yellow deodorant stains and is sort of getting thin because it has been washed a few too many times. I think I've had it since 2003 or so. Oh, and this morning I even dripped a little mouth wash on it, so I was looking extra special.
After my haircut I decided to run into the post office in Rigby to mail a letter. I was a little bit self conscious about my shirt, especially in Rigby where I'm sure to run into someone I know, but I really needed to get the letter mailed. So, I just decided that I'd hurry and run in, hope the line wasn't too long, and then get out of there before somebody from the Rigby High Class of '97 saw me.
I parked my car and headed into the post office and just as I'm walking in an old guy (at least 70) walks out of the post office wearing levi shorts and suspenders. Yup, no shirt. I guess he wanted to show off that tattoo he got when he was in the army or something. And I thought to myself, "hm, I guess I'm okay," and I walked into that post office with my head held high and mailed my letter.