Since I came back to the US of A at the end of August I've been staying with my cute little grandma.
It's the longest I've stayed in one place for the past year...nearly two months! I'm starting to get a little stir crazy (even though I did go to California for one week of those two months) and I bet my grandma is getting sick of having me around, but for now (until I figure out what to do with the rest of my life), it's where I am, and I'm glad my grandma is nice enough to let me be here. And, while I'm here, I might as well learn something.
Here are a few of my life lessons learned while living with my grandma...
1) Wheel of Fortune is actually a pretty decent show. I quite enjoy watching it and I love how super smart I feel when I know the correct answer before the contestants do. Pat Sajak owes me thousands of dollars.
2) If you donate to the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Paralyzed Veterans of America, Vietnam Veterans, Retired Veterans, the Special Olympics, Firefighters Association, Police Association, St. Jude Hospital, March of Dimes, Republican National Committee, Native American Association, etc. you will forever receive mail and phone calls from those charities asking for more. I guess it's just the price you have to pay for being a kind and giving person.
3) NEVER, under any circumstances buy videos from Feature Family Films. If you do, they will call you for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and will drive you absolutely crazy on the phone until you buy more. My brother finally had to call them and tell them to "stop harassing the elderly" to get them off my grandma's back.
4) Candy can actually get stale and hard. This was a major eye-opener for me. I truly had no idea this was even possible. I grew up in a house where it never lasted long enough for us to know that this was even a possibility. We'd hoard candy sometimes, but only until the next Fast Sunday or snowstorm when we could re-sell it to each other (and my to my dad) at exorbitant prices.
5) Pies and cakes and other desserts can get dry or moldy. I never would have imagined this. But, with only me and my grandma around we've had cakes get dry and stale and an apple pie get moldy. Growing up in my house, you never wanted to take too long of a nap on Sunday afternoons or you'd miss "Second Dessert." You had to time your naps just right and not take too long of one, or the entire chocolate cake from Sunday dinner would be gone before you got to it. Either that or you had to write your name in spit on the portion of the dessert that you wanted to stake a claim on before you went to take your Sunday nap or you might as well forget about getting another shot at dessert. Our treats were always super fresh because they never lasted longer than a day.
6) The fridge can seem to be empty and yet you can make a delicious meal out of practically nothing. This has always amazed me about my grandma. My mom can do it too. You think there's nothing to eat and then all of a sudden they've whipped together a delicious meal. I'd like to learn to do that someday.
7) How to always have a delicious fresh pineapple. Here's my grandma's secret. After you buy a fresh pineapple, cut off the top, turn the pineapple upside down, and place on a plate (either in the fridge or on the counter depending on how quickly you want the pineapple to ripen). Your pineapple will ripen evenly and all that sweetness that usually gets concentrated at the bottom of the pineapple and almost turns alcoholicish will instead sweeten the entire pineapple. Trust me on this one. The trick works every time. I only recently learned why my grandma always has delicious fresh pineapple in her fridge and now I want to share that tip with the world (or at least with my blog leeches).
8) Fox News isn't all that bad. And, I think I secretly have a crush on Glen Beck (even though I think he's sort of crazy and he cries a lot).
Oh, and my grandma wants to know if you (and everyone you know) voted for Jason. Today is the last day to do it. So, don't be a loser and forget.
Later,
Becca
11 comments:
Fox news rocks. Glen Beck rocks. You should have a crush on him. It's a healthy crush. That's awesome about the pineapple. I will remember that. Good life lessons to learn!
Unless the clock on my computer is messed up it showed that you posted this a 5 a.m. Could that possibly be? If so, what the heck?
Glad to see you are learning things from Gma. Maybe she should post some things she'd learned from you. You know, a guest post. That would be fun, wouldn't it?
Glad to hear the pineapple trick. I can't believe neither of you mentioned that to me since we have a lot of pineapple here. I'll try it.
Mom, yes the clock on your computer is messed up. I do stay up late but not that late as I'm not a complete crazy insomniac nor one of those people who gets up so early that you kind of wonder about their sanity. So, 5 AM is not usually a time I am awake for.
Oh, and I never told you the pineapple trick because pretty much all the pineapples in Brazil are super delicious anyway.
I tried to try out to be on Wheel of Fortune. They never called my name. Lowest point of my life.
you are a loser christa.
I tried the pineapple thing this week and mitchy and i enjoyed some very delicious pineapple this morning.
have you learned about jeopardy yet? we're like old people in our house and LOVE jeopardy. i guess i can't make john stoop to my level of lameness, but i love jeopardy.
thanks for the tip on the pineapple.
Okay...this is getting repetitive...thanks for the pineapple tip! Thank your Grandma Fern, as well.
Very informative tips. I think I'll cut and paste. Grandma is a pretty tricky little gal.
Your pineapple IS always really yummy... I'll have to try it sometime!!
I had fun on our "date" last night... I think we should go on another. (this time I'll actually put make-up on!! And I promise to leave my dickie at home)
Haaaaaaa Becky...yeah, leave home your white turtle neck dickie the next time we hang out. That was seriously embarrassing. I think we should go on another "date" soon and this time invite Bobbi because she was TICKED that we didn't invite her.
Becky's wearing dickies now?
Bought a pineapple yesterdee, cut off the top and put it on its head—decided to give it a whirl.
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