Ruth* Strikes Again, etc.

Remember Ruth*?  Well, she's up to two strikes with me.  One more strike and she's out.  


So tonight I'm at yet another cousin's wedding reception...fortunately, nearly all 38 of my cousins are married and I won't have many more weddings to attend.  


Anyway, my brother Russell and I were looking for a table to sit at and the only spots open were at Ruth's* table.  I told Russell that I was not sitting at Ruth's* table because I didn't want to be asked if I was "still single," and that I would just wait for another spot to open up.  


But somehow Russell convinced me that it would be okay...that I'd just seen Ruth* ten months earlier and that she would remember that I indeed had that  chronic disease called "singleness" and that she wouldn't mention it.  So we sat down across from Ruth*.


And, sure enough within SECONDS of sitting down Ruth* says to me, "so you're still single right?...wait, no, you're married...no, you're single."  


What I said: "Yes Ruth*, I am STILL SINGLE."  


What I thought: 'Holy crappoly what is wrong with you crazy lady?  Do you not have any other way to categorize or remember people other than STILL SINGLE or NOT STILL SINGLE?  Don't you remember when I saw you ten months ago and you asked me the same question?  And, if I am married then boy do I have the crappiest husband in the ENTIRE WORLD because he is NEVER with me when you see me!!!  What a non-existent jerk!' 


Dear Ruth*, 
I PROMISE that if the miracle of all miracles occurs and I do at some point in my earthly existence end up NOT STILL SINGLE then you will be the first to know, but until then I'm going to AVOID YOU LIKE THE PLAGUE YOU CRAZY FORGETFUL LADY!  And, since I'm told that I'm more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married in my 3o's (and that statistic was discovered before O. B. Laden was even a household name, so now I'm even MORE LIKELY to be killed by terrorists) I doubt I'll ever speak to you again Ruth*.  So, goodbye and enjoy your seemingly clueless existence in your black and white world of STILL SINGLE and NOT STILL SINGLE.  


Ahhhhhhh I'm just mad that I haven't gotten around to making my "I ask stupid questions" badges.  Maybe I'll anonymously mail one to Ruth* when I get them done.  


Somehow she hasn't yet figured out that my brother Russell is also STILL SINGLE or she'd probably bug him too.  He has enough other clueless/rude people pestering him so it's probably a good thing that Ruth* hasn't honed in on his marital state.  Besides, even if she did, it probably wouldn't bother him...he doesn't seemed to get as bugged by stupid people...I usually get bugged for him.  Like the fact that even though Russell has OWNED a home for TWO years in the ward I grew up in, has lived in the ward his entire life, and has taught Elders Quorum every other week for the last SEVERAL years, they don't have him listed in the ward directory that just came out a couple of months ago.  I guess you don't exist until you exist as a couple.  Ahhhhhhhh I'm so bugged right now!!! I'd better go to bed!


*Name changed not out of the kindness of my heart but to be consistent with past posts.  




Just one more quick story though...


I don't really know where my church records are.  I told my ward in SLC that I was moving in December and to either just send my records back to church headquarters or to my home ward.  And since the lost sheep people in SLC haven't called me yet, I'm assuming that my records are in my home ward, but I don't really know.  


So, a few months ago I was making out a tithing check but didn't know which ward to write it to.  I didn't want to leave the check blank so I just wrote the check out to "God," and then left it in my checkbook until I could find a ward to belong to.  


Yesterday I was at the bank cashing a check and I usually just give the teller my debit card so she can get my account number from that, but I didn't have my debit card with me so I just flipped open my checkbook so she could get the account number.  And there it was front and center...my check made out to God.  As soon as I  noticed it I flipped to the next check but I'm still pretty sure the teller saw it.  Haaaaaaa...I bet she's like "why does this girl have a check written out to God?...how does she think he's going to cash that check?"  


Oh well, I guess I gave her something to laugh/wonder about.  I bet the life of a bank teller is pretty boring (unless the bank gets robbed or something).  


Well, that's all for tonight.  Bye now.
Oh, and don't forget to be nice to single people (and everyone else too).