Decade-End Summary 2000-2009

Decade-End Summary 2000-2009

(aka: My Twenties)

alcohol units consumed: 1 (mission mix-up)

cigarettes: 0 (excellent)

pounds lost and re-gained at least six times: 30 (v.b.)

new countries visited: 35 (v.g.)

degrees obtained: 2 (excellent)

houses bought: 1

houses sold: 1

grandparents lost: 2 (v.s.)

sisters-in-law gained: 1

time spent on foreign soil: 2 years and 3 months 

times moved: 18

roommates: 34

Well, I can't say that this decade was too bad.  It is crazy to me that my twenties have come and gone.  Honestly, it was all kind of a blur.  There are whole years where all I remember is where I traveled to.  Sad.  Oh well, at least I remember something. 

2000: The end of the civilized world did not come, as some anticipated, on January 1, 2000.  We had a big extended family New Year's party to celebrate Y2K.  I spent the beginning of the year at BYU and the end of the year as a missionary.  I entered the MTC on August 23, 2000.  While at the MTC I got to sing in the missionary choir at General Conference...super cool, especially since I don't sing.  I guess they just needed sisters, and fortunately I am an excellent lip-syncher due to years of practice.  After a three week visa wait in San Diego, I made it to Argentina by mid-November.  I always wanted to serve a mission and the time finally came!

2001: I spent the whole year in Argentina as a missionary and loved almost every minute of it.  I met lots of wonderful people, made life-long friends, shared the gospel, learned Spanish (or Castellano as the Argentines call it), ate a lot of delicious food and a lot of disgusting food, helped people change their lives, gained confidence, gained weight, got lice, learned and experienced more than I ever could have imagined, and knew I'd never be the same because of serving a mission.  

2002: I was still a missionary at the beginning of the year, came home in March, thought everybody lived worldly and empty lives (including myself), got used to "normal" life again, traveled to China with my mom, grandma, cousin, aunt and some family friends, went back to BYU, and got a job teaching ESL at the MTC.  

2003: I spent the whole year at BYU.  I studied a lot and worked a lot and had a little bit of fun.  Luckily I loved my job at the MTC.  It was like a second little mission and was such a fun adventure.  I traveled to Guatemala, Honduras and Mexico with my friend Cindy and discovered that all my time spent floating the canals of Idaho as a child payed off.  Pretty much everyone in the group got Montezuma's revenge, except me.  My gut of steel is my one gift from God, and is evidence to me that I'm meant to travel.  

2004: in January I unwillingly moved to Salt Lake City to do my student teaching.  It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  In April I skipped out on my graduation ceremony from BYU and headed to Argentina, Uruguay, and Chile with my mission companion Hermana Merzlock.  We had a great time visiting the places and people we loved.  In August I started my first "real" job working at ARUP laboratories.  In October I got to go to Peru and see Machu Picchu...it was a great trip, even though I had to go on my own.  

2005: I got to travel to Guatemala with my grandpa and grandma F.  I'm so glad I got to go and meet all my grandpa's Guatemalan friends, especially since my grandpa passed away a couple of months later.  In March I bought my first ever house...it was such a cute little place.  That summer a high school friend Corrine and I traveled to Europe for a couple of weeks.  We had a great time visiting the U.K., Holland, Germany, Austria, and the Czech Republic.  We had some great adventures.  

2006: I seriously don't remember anything about 2006 except that it was the year of the Briget Jones Thailand Tour, my third trip to Guatemala with my grandma, and I somehow talked Lee to go to Europe with me so he could visit his mission.  Lee and I went to France, Hungary, Slovakia, Poland, and Ukraine.  I had so much fun.  Oh, and Lee lived with me for about six months during 2006.  He  was one of my favorite roommates ever because he is such a good cook and a great friend.  I loved having him live with me.  In August Lee and I went sky-diving to celebrate my 27th birthday.  Don't worry, we wrote out our wills first.

2007: In January my mom and I warmed up for a week in Cabo San Lucas.  In February my grandma B passed away...so sad.  In March my mom and I headed to Paris for a week.  It was pretty cold but fun.  In April my mission companion Hermana Forrest and I traveled to Ethiopia and Kenya, first stopping off for a few days in Holland and Belgium.  Such a great trip.  In September Lee got married and I gained my first ever sister-in-law, Kim.  I started graduate school that fall so my traveling had to go on hold for a bit.

2008: I started off the year with a quick trip to California and Mexico with some work friends.  In March my Spinster friends and I road tripped Portugal, Spain, Morocco, and Gibraltar (U.K.) over Spring Break.  It was quite the adventure especially since none of us were really proficient in driving a manual transmission car and that's all we could rent in Europe.  Kate got good at driving stick really fast and became the main Spinstamobile driver.  In May I sold my cute little house.  In June my parents left for their mission in Brazil.  I spent July in Paraguay working on my practicum for grad school and then stopped by Brazil to visit my parents on the way home.  In October Kate, Christa, and I had an awesome week in Costa Rica despite the torrential rain storms and mudslides.  In December my siblings and I headed back to Brazil to  visit our parents for Christmas.

2009: Due to unbelievably low airfare to Belize I went in both January and February, once with my brothers and cousins and once with some Spinster friends and a random guy named Ed who we met in Guatemala.  In February I quit my job.  I was soooo ready for a change.  In June I did some work for school in Ghana and then traveled afterward around Africa with friends.  I spent July in Brazil, August in 30th-birthday-depression, and then went back for my last semester of school in September.  In October I traveled to Panama with VIDA and learned that I could survive without a daily shower and a hairdryer (but I hope I never have to).  


Well, there's my decade in review.  I have a fresh new passport and can't wait to see what the next 10 years will bring.  Hopefully I'll be more prepared for 40 than I was for 30.  I'm going to start preparing myself mentally right now so meeting my next decade mark won't be so traumatic.  Well 2010 to 2019, here I come!

Sorry if my decade summary seems like one big boring travel log...but really I don't do much else besides work, school, and travel in my life, and I figure you'd rather hear about travel than about work and school.  So there.  

Year-End Summary 2009

Year-End Summary for 2009

alcohol units consumed: 0 (excellent)

cigarettes: 0 (v.g.)

pounds lost: 10 (good)

pounds gained: 20 (n.g.)

new countries visited: 8 (not bad)

jobs quit: 1 (yay!)

degrees obtained: 1 (excellent)

times moved: 4 (not fun)

blog posts: 79 (v.g.)

weeks spent on foreign soil: 11 (not too shabby)

January: Spent the first part of the month in Brazil, flew back to Utah, moved out of my apartment and into my car, stayed in hotels and with my friend Rachel until it was time to go to Belize, and then moved into my new apartment upon returning...it wasn't a fun month...even with the trips to Brazil and Belize.

February:  Worked like crazy at the first part of the month, quit my job after much turmoil, stress and pain, and went on Belize trip number two.

March: School, blah.

April: School, blah.

May: Moved back to Idaho, spent the month at my grandma's house, was sick most of the month with some weird upper respiratory disease obtained while SCUBA certifying at the Aquatic Center, thought my ear would explode when I flew to Africa due to weird disease, ear didn't explode.

June:  Spent the whole month plus some in Africa (Ghana, South Africa, Mozambique, Zambia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe) and loved pretty much every minute of the trip, fulfilled life-long dreams of SCUBA diving and Bungee Jumping, didn't want the trip to end.

July:  Got back from Africa, found out I was going to be an aunt (yay!), four days later flew to Brazil to surprise my mom for her birthday, spent the rest of the month in Brazil with my parents, stressed over turning 30 for pretty much the whole month.

August: The arrival of the dreaded 30th birthday...it really was as bad (or worse) than I thought, spontaneous road trip of Idaho, Oregon, California, and Washington with Grandma Fern, and moved back to Utah for school.

September:  School, blah. 

October: Lots of school, and a somewhat last-minute trip to Panama.

November: School, blah.

December: Passed Biostatistics, finished grad school, moved back to Idaho, Christmas, yay!

Overall 2009 was not my favorite year of life, but I didn't die or get any major diseases so I can't complain.  And...I did get to travel some, finally got up the courage to quit a job I came to despise, and found out that in early 2010 I'd be a first time aunt.  So, really, not too bad. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Panama October 2009

The end of 2009 is finally here and I realized that I can't write my year-end summary if I haven't even caught up on my blogging for the year.  So, here's my Panama blog...finally.

Here's our group in Panama City.  There were eight of us plus Charlie, the driver of our big yellow van.  From left to right it's Charlie, me, Scott, Whitney, Julia, Ann, Erik, and Joey (whose real name is Scott but who we nicknamed Joey because he looks like Joey Tribbiani and because it was too confusing having two Scotts in the group).  

Julia, me, and Joey in front of the Panama Canal

The Panama Canal


For some weird reason I've always wanted to see the Panama Canal...lifelong dream=fulfilled.  

From Panama City we flew to Playon Chico.  It is a small town in the area of Kuna Yala (also known as San Blas) which is occupied by the Kuna Indians.  It is basically a strip of land along the Caribbean coast of Panama and also includes the San Blas Archipelago.  From Playon Chico we took a 45 minute dugout canoe ride to Irgandi, a small village where we spent most of our time.  

In Irgandi we stayed in the LDS church.  Yes, that's probably illegal but that's where the church and village leaders thought we should stay and none of us were about to complain since it is the nicest building in the village.  A pretty high percentage of the Kuna Indians are LDS.  In Irgandi probably about 20% of the people are active LDS...and I'm sure many more have been baptized.  Even the Saila, village chief, is LDS in Irgandi.  

Things are just different in Irgandi.  Nobody thought it was weird for us to hang our hammocks on the church rafters.  I think everybody there thought we were there officially for The Church.  We had to keep reminding them that just because we were all members of the LDS Church didn't mean we were sent there by The Church.  We were treated like royalty anyway. 

Here's the view out of the window of the church building.  It was a pretty sweet setting.  Luckily a tsunami didn't hit though.

A little path through the village.  We kept hearing different things but I think there are about 250 people in the village.  It seemed smaller than that though but I guess there were a lot of kids.  

This is Rafael.  He was our main translator in the village.  They speak their own Native American language there.  The more educated people speak Spanish a little too.  So those of us who spoke Spanish would translate from English to Spanish and then Rafael would translate from Spanish to Kuna for us.  The double translation made things a little complicated but there wasn't any MAJOR miscommunication luckily.  


We brought old glasses and new reading glasses for the people there.  I love the glasses that Rafael chose for himself...bling, bling.

Some of the village women in their traditional dress.  Pretty much everybody in Irgandi wears the traditional clothes except for the kids.  

We didn't have a lot of bottled water since we had to bring all of our water from Panama City so we supplemented with coconut water.  It isn't too bad really.

This is the "hospital" in the village next to Irgandi.  I think it is only really used for the women who are having babies.  

This is the birthing room in their "maternity hospital."  How would you like to give birth there?  They at least had running water in the room.  It's the only place I saw running water in Kuna Yala.  

A favorite play spot for the kids in Irgandi

The guys in our group went fishing with the men of the village.  They brought back some lobsters and octopus for us to eat.  There were eight of us and eight octopus tentacles so we had to take a picture.  I'm not a big fan of octopus.  It basically tastes like plastic...and I bet plastic has fewer calories.  

Here are some of the women trying out the glasses we brought.  They were testing the glasses by seeing how well they could sew with them on.  

We taught some hygiene classes at the school and practiced proper hand washing with the kids.  I felt kind of like a hypocrite teaching hygiene classes when I felt so dirty myself...but oh well.  Also, teaching kids to properly wash their hands using river water (the only source of fresh water in Irgandi) may have been counterproductive.  I guess if they use soap it is better than nothing.  

Jose and his daughter Flori (in the background) were our "tour guides."  They are Kuna but have lived in Panama City for a long time.  I like the glasses Jose chose for himself.

Here's one of the village women with a mola she made.  Molas are a traditional Kuna artwork that they use as part of their traditional clothing.  They use reverse appliqué and their work is quite intricate.  The molas look really great framed and we are selling a bunch of the molas for the women of the village to raise money so they can build a library there.  The way this woman's cheeks are painted is just how they do their make-up when they are all done up.  If you look closely you'll also notice that all the women have their noses pierced...even the Relief Society President. 

And this lady read my mind and had a nativity scene mola.  So cool.  I collect nativity scenes from all over the world and I love that I found this one.  As you can see the molas are sewn into a shirt but the women just took off the shirt parts for us.  They are also really cool sewn into handbags.  

We did a little face painting of our own to get our guys ready for the VIDA versus Kuna basketball game.  We probably shouldn't do weird stuff like this since we are the only Americans that most of these people will ever see and now probably everybody in Irgandi thinks that Americans paint their faces before playing basketball.  Too bad there aren't many TV's in Kuna Yala so the people can learn the truth about America...octomom, midgets, white trash weddings, little girls in beauty pagents, washed up stars who dance, etc.  

The guys and Flori all ready for the big game.  The only bad thing about their basketball court is that if the ball goes off the court it might land in the ocean.

The guys got really sweaty.  I guess I shouldn't have let on that I'm a bit of a clean freak because Scott thought it was SO funny to give me a big sweaty hug.  Yuck. 

This is the LDS church in Playon Chico.  I just thought it was cool how it is built out over the water.  Some of the villages are built on little islands and they build a lot of buildings out over the water since there isn't much ground.  

Another view from the church in Irgandi

Some of the cute little boys from Irgandi.  Sorry about the speedo/undies.  I was just glad they were all dressed.  

These little boys always wanted us to take their picture.  The one in the front was a little rapper...every time we saw him he'd start into a little rap.  It was pretty funny.  

The girls were a little more camera shy but still let me take their picture.  

There were a lot of kids in the village but these seven really liked us white folk.  They were kind of our little entourage.  Everywhere we went there were little kids watching our every move.  The really little kids and babies were afraid of us though because most of the really young ones hadn't ever seen a white person.  They would stare at us for a minute and then start bawling.  It was kind of funny.  

Just a pretty little path in Irgandi

We did our own cooking as a group.  Here's Julia and I taking our turn cooking. Staying at the church was awesome because they even had a gas stove there. We all thought we'd be cooking over a fire so having the stove was a huge improvement.  Thank you tithing!

Here's Julia and I with the kindergarten kids and other random children after we taught them hand washing.

And speaking of hand washing, here's the bathroom we had to use for our stay in Irgandi.  And yes, it is a latrine that just hangs over the ocean.  And yes, I felt like a bad world citizen every time I went to the bathroom.  Most of the islands the Kuna people live on are too small and the water table is too high to dig latrines so this is the traditional Kuna bathroom.  They are working on other solutions, but for now, this is it.  Makes you think differently of the ocean, doesn't it?  

Me with a little friend that was always hanging around the docks in Playon Chico ready to greet us

The San Blas Archipelago is made up of nearly 400 islands.  Some of them are really small, like this one.  They call the really small islands "coconut islands" because nobody lives on those islands but they use them to farm coconuts.  They trade the coconuts with the Columbians for food and supplies.  They don't have much cash in Kuna Yala, especially in the smaller, more isolated villages.  They didn't even use money until the 1990's.  Before that they just traded coconuts for everything. 

On our last day in Kuna Yala we took a boat out to one of the little "coconut islands," far away from the islands where people live and use the ocean as their sewer.  It was like a little piece of paradise.  

Here's the little island where we spent the day

And back to Irgandi...one last picture of the kids playing on their playground equipment.  

Here are some people watching a soccer game from the runway in Playon Chico before our plane came in.  The locals all seemed to know the plane schedule and moved off the runway before our plane landed.  Kind of scary though...

But before we flew back to Panama City we spent one las night on the island of San Ignacio.  We had a nice crab dinner that last night in Kuna Yala.  The crabs were super huge and super yummy.  

And they were still slightly alive.  While we were taking pictures, Julia's twisted a bit and it's claw fell off.  Sick.

We visited the Panama City Temple on our last day in the country.  It had a really neat setting overlooking the Panama Canal.  It felt weird to be walking around, even just the Temple grounds, and feeling so dirty.  Being dirty was the hardest part for me on this trip...but I did it!  I bathed in a river, didn't use a hairdryer, and wore a hat for pretty much the whole week, and still had a good time.  That's pretty amazing for me.  Also, it's amazing that I didn't get sick since we washed our dishes in unboiled river water.  Thank you once again to swimming in canals of Idaho as a child.  It sure makes traveling, but not weight loss, easier.  

The end of my first Panama adventure.  We're planning on going back in May and will hopefully (if we can raise enough money by then) be helping the villagers build and stock a library for their village.  They are going to help build it and will take care of it but since they don't have much actual cash, we are working to raise the money for the library.  

I really, even without showers or a real bathroom, had a great time in Kuna Yala.  The people were wonderful, the place was beautiful, and we had a lot of fun.  I can't wait to go back!

You Say License, I Say Licence...

Here's the end of the licence saga...

Oh, and may I just say, I've received a lot of flack (phone calls, emails, comments) about how I spelled licence.  But in my defense, both license and licence are correct spellings.  Licence is British English and license is American English.  But, since I'm a European American with mostly British ancestry I feel at liberty to use either spelling.  So there.

Idaho came through for me, big time.  Christmas Eve I went over to the Jefferson County DMV.  They were closing at 2:00 but the lady on the phone told me I'd be okay if I made it there by 1:00.  Since I don't have any utilities in my name and since in the past year I have at least sort of worked a little for Batt Construction Lee wrote me a paystub for my "work" (aka: pro bono work) for the last few weeks. 

So I tell the lady I need a new Idaho DL and hand her my temporary Utah license and my paystub. 

Then she says, "Your paystub needs your address on it." 

Me: "What?"

DL lady: "Yeah, your paystub needs to show the address where you live."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I thought it just needed to show that I had worked in Idaho recently.  So at this point I'm COMPLETELY frustrated with this whole driver's licence problem.  What do they seriously expect homeless people to do?...not drive?...that's ridiculous. 

I think I was especially frustrated because I found out Christmas Eve morning that due to the delay getting a licence my Brazilian visa was now going to cost me $450!  

So anyway, right there at the DMV I start crying.  Not sobbing or anything super embarrassing, but just normal DMV-type crying.  And through my tears I say to the DL lady, "Is there anything I can do to prove that I live in Idaho?"

And then I just told her the truth, the truth and nothing but the truth.  That I just graduated from college and that I was living in Idaho with my grandma until I find a job and sort of working for my family's business.  And that I'm not really mentally unstable but that I've been trying for weeks to get a valid licence, with no success. 

She was super nice and just said, "Well, we can have your grandma sign an affidavit saying that you live with her."

To which I replied, "My grandma is in Brazil and won't be back for a week.  I have to have my new licence by Monday so I can apply for a Brazilian visa."

I'm sure my story had to sound kind of fishy...my 83 year old grandma off in Brazil.  BUT, it was the truth!

DL lady: "What's your grandma's name?"

Me: "Fern F******."

DL lady: "Oh, I know Fern, she's in my ward.  That's right, she is in Brazil." (Only in Idaho!) 

So while we're discussing how the DL lady knew (and loved) my grandparents, a lady comes in from the hall and says to the DL lady, "my mom is in your ward too and I can vouch that this girl is a Batt...doesn't she look like a Batt?"

It was kind of random, but was nice that a lady I didn't even know was saying that I was who I was. 

Then the nice DL lady was trying to figure out how she could give me my driver's licence even though I didn't have any way to document before they closed in an hour that I did (as of December 23rd) live in Idaho.  

She was like: "Your Uncle Dale and cousin Brian were in here just a few hours ago, maybe I could just call them." 

And then as we continued to chat I asked the DL lady where she lived and it just so happened that she lived on the same street as my parents.  So I told her where my parents lived and she said, "Oh, so your dad is Alan?"

Me: "Yup."

Her: "Oh, Alan was our Stake President...he is a great guy, blah, blah, blah...he's on a mission right now in Brazil."

Me: "Yup, that's why my grandma is down there visiting."  I think she may have been a little confused as to why my grandma Fern, who she probably didn't know was related to my dad, would be visiting my parents and it took her a minute to realize that she was my mom's mom. 

Her: "Well, I know your grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle, and if you say you live in Idaho then you live in Idaho."

Then there was this police lady just standing behind the desk with her and she said, "Yeah, if she says she lives in Idaho, she lives in Idaho!"

I took the driving test, passed with flying colors, and soon had my new, non-temporary Idaho DL in my possession. 

And...the nice DL lady typed in my weight that I had on my Utah DL from 5 years ago and not the new weight that was on my temporary licence.  Yay for her!  But, of course my picture is SUPER ugly and I have like 16 chins in it.  I look like I weigh 400 pounds.  So, by my picture you'd think I weighed 400+ pounds and had KFC crumbs lost in my fat rolls, but by my weight on my DL you'd think I was quite normal.  The truth is that I'm somewhere in between. 

And that, folks, is just one reason why I love Idaho.  I have no address on record but the nice DL lady, random lady in the hall, and police lady all vouched for me.  Thank you, thank you.  Small towns are the best!

Now I've just got to get my visa application down to the visa company in SLC ASAP and hopefully I'll get my visa back in time.  Anybody know any nice and trustworthy people that are going to SLC in the next couple of days?  I don't know if I trust the mail at this point. 

The DMV and the Beginning of my Life of Crime

I caved. 

I finally got a new Utah driver's licence. 

I had to. 

I need to get a new Brazilian visa, which is unfortunate for me since they are like 200+ dollars and also unfortunate because one of the requirements for the visa application is a copy of your driver's licence, presumably a valid one.  And, as my blog readers know I haven't had a valid driver's licence for over four months.


So I looked up the requirements for renewing my Utah licence and found that if I wanted to change the address on my licence from what it was five years ago to where I actually live now, I would have to bring two utility bills or other official mail showing my name and my new address to prove that I do actually live in Utah.  Well, all the utilities are in my roommate's name and I don't have any of my bank statements, credit card bills, etc. that come to my current address.  Ridiculous!  I've lived in Utah for over eight years, payed taxes here, voted here, go to school here and even pay resident tuition, etc., but because all my mail goes to Idaho I'm apparently not a Utah resident according to the DMV (Division of Motor Vehicles).  I'm not a resident of anywhere!  I'm completely stateless I guess.


HOWEVER, the DMV website did say that if I was just renewing my licence and not changing addresses then all I'd need to bring with me was my old licence.  


And that's where the lying began.  I decided that I'd just leave my address on my new licence as my address back at Turnberry Apartments from 5+ years ago when I first got my Utah licence.  I just thought oh well, it shouldn't matter what the address is on my licence...I move around so much anyway.  


How bad is it to lie to the government about where you live?  The government lies to me...can't I lie back to them just a little?  


Now I'm sure some of you are like "why didn't you just change your bank or credit card statements to your current address or something?"  The answer to that question is that I didn't have time to do that.  I've got to get this Brazilian visa application in the mail stat so that I can get my passport back before I go to the Domincan Republic with my book club in January. (I know, I know, I'm in the coolest book club ever!)  


Anyway, so I go to the DMV a few days ago and fill out my application with the old address like it is on my DL for my DL renewal.  I took my time filling it out and even took a few minutes to re-memorize my old address from Turnberry Apartments, in case they asked me for it verbally.   


I did, briefly, consider explaining my predicament with the address to someone at the DMV to ask them what they thought I should do, but I thought to myself, 'naw, none of these people have any power against the red tape and it's just better to ask forgiveness than permission.  Because what if they tell me no, and then I just won't be able to get a driver's licence at all?'


After a LONG wait, as is normal at the DMV, my number was called and I went to the desk.  The guy there starts to enter the info from my form into the computer and he says, "oh, that's weird, there is a different address in the system for you." 


Me: "Oh really," with a puzzled look on my face "what address is it?"  I remembered that at one point in my years in Utah I did update my address with the DMV, but I couldn't remember which of the four addresses I've had in SLC since moving out of Turnberry Apartments I used.  


DMV guy: "Oh, I don't know.  I already erased it."


Me: "Well," I said trying to act natural, "is it going to be a problem that the address on my expired driver's licence and on the form I just filled out are different from the one you had in the system?" 


DMV guy: "No, it is just weird that there is a different address in the system.  But it doesn't really matter for now.  The new strict rules that will make people  have to prove their new addresses aren't in effect until January 1st."  


Me thinking to myself: 'You idiot!  You could have put your real address.  Those rules you read online aren't in effect yet!' 


Ahhhhhhhhhh I hate myself!


But at that point I can't just say to the guy "Oh, JK, JK, JK I totally LIED about my address on that form.  Now that I know that I don't have to prove my current address can I change it?"  


But I just figured, what the heck.  I'm moving again later this month anyway and so no matter what address I put it won't be current for long.    


So I finish up with the DMV guy, pay my 25 bucks, and head over to the desk where they take the really ugly pictures of you.  


They take my picture and then tell me to go to another desk to wait for my licence.  When they call me up to that desk they hand my this flimsy TEMPORARY licence and tell me that my new licence will be mailed to me in 2 to 3 weeks.  


What?  I thought they give you your new licence right away?  So, I say to the guy, "Um, um, well, I'm going to be up in Idaho for a couple of months.  Is there anyway the licence can be sent to my parents' house in ID?"  


To which he says, "No, it can only be mailed to the address on your driver's licence" (the old Turnberry Apartment address from 5+ years ago). 


To which I say, "Well, can it be forwarded to me?" 


To which he says, "No, you can't forward government mail."


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why is my life so complicated?  


So, I now have a temporary licence on paper that I'm sure is not going to cut it as far as my Brazilian visa application goes (they are REALLY strict with the visas) AND, my new DL is getting sent to some random apartment in SLC where there's probably some refugee family from Burma living who won't speak English and won't understand when I show up at their door to try to explain my predicament.


I thought that was bad enough.  But, then I get home and start looking up the Brazilian visa requirements again and see that it says "ADDRESS ON DRIVER'S LICENCE MUST MATCH ADDRESS ON VISA APPLICATION."  Ahhhhhhhhhhh!  Now, what do I do?  I can't send my visa which is in my passport to this random apartment in Salt Lake City where I don't even know the people living there and take the chance that these people are good people and not criminals that are going to take advantage of having both my driver's licence AND passport and try and still my identity or something.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhh once again!


So, I called Jefferson County in Idaho and asked them what it would take so I could get a driver's licence there and if they would give me my licence immediately or if it would have to be mailed.  Now they already rejected me for a licence back in August because I couldn't prove my residency by either utility bills or a pay stub.  I explained that I was just moving to Idaho and wouldn't have any utility bills in my name and don't have a job yet, but need a licence.  


And it looks like good old Idaho is going to come through for me because first of all they give you your licence immediately, and second of all the girl on the phone asked me if I worked at all and I said "sort of" and she said, "well, just have someone you work for in Idaho write you a paystub or even a letter just saying you work in Idaho."  She was so nice and helpful, as a good Idahoan should be.  


And luckily I have technically worked in Idaho in the last year.  I worked one day at Mini Bazaar, and I work on a regular basis for Batt Construction as a personal shopper for the President of Batt Construction as well as the head of Batt Construction's Brazilan import/export division.  


So, I think I'll be able to get my licence after all.  I just have to take a written test though.  I hope I don't flunk.  That would be sad.  


Oh, and I've got to figure out some way to cancel my Utah DL from getting sent to that random apartment in SLC where I lived 5+ years ago.  I'll work on that tomorrow.  What a waste of 25 bucks! 


So, kids, you should have learned from this post that crime doesn't pay, and that it is better to ask permission than forgiveness.  


But, in my defense, I just have to say, "THE SYSTEM MADE ME DO IT!"  What was I supposed to do?


No wonder homelessness leads to a life of crime.  If you can't prove what your address is you're forced to start lying about it and then next thing you know you're robbing a Maverick store.  I bet that's how it all starts for some people...lying to try and get a stinking driver's licence!  What a messed up system!