I've often, while grocery shopping, thought to myself, 'who buys those giant tubs o' cheese puffs?' You know...the ones the size of a small child...
literally, a small child.
To me cheese puffs look like styrofoam balls dusted in a powdery orange paint. Disgusting. And the fact that often these cheese balls are sold in massive tubs...double disgusting. (At least in the humble opinion of my taste buds.)
Anyway, someone must buy them or they'd stop making them, right? But I don't know of one person who buys and/or consumes them, and I never see strangers buying them...even super sketchy late-night Walmart roamers.
And that, folks, is why I've always felt like one of the greatest mysteries of our time, besides the questions of: what really happened at Area51, where does Sasquatch live, and who really assassinated JFK...is...who eats cheese balls?
Side note: Speaking of conspiracy theories...one of my brothers told me the other day that he thinks the skinny jean fad is a conspiracy by makers of jeans to cut costs, and therefore increase profits, because skinny jeans take less fabric than normal jeans. He is basing this on the fact that skinny jeans are actually only flattering on the body of 1 in 100,000 people. So, there's no logical reason for a fad that makes us all look fat. Therefore, it must be a conspiracy theory. Kinda makes sense to me...what do you think? End side note.
Anyway, after years of yearning and searching for the cheese ball answer, tonight as I was in Walmart...boom, just like that, the answer was there...as I saw a couple of these...
buying one of those giant tubs o' puffs. So, there you have it. Based on a sample size of two, I'm going to conclude that polygamists are the ones causing the demand for cheese puffs. And it makes sense...if you've got to feed 40 kids on one man's income...you've got to have some filler food in your children's diets...and what better substance than orange colored styrofoam to keep the kids' stomachs satisfied?
9 comments:
Becca. I like your new blog layout. And I have always wanted to buy those cheese puffs and see if they are good, so if you see me with a big poof and an ugly dress on soon--- you know why.
Christmas present for Kim...check.
I don't think they are buying them for the kids. I think they are using them to keep those massive sleeves puffed out. They could save a lot of fabric/money by going to a basic set-in sleeve.
I forgot to say I like your blog's new look. I had a hard time figuring out how to comment without the little comment box popping up.
Your new blog format is very cool. Now I have one more thing that is old fashioned! Dang it.
I bought one of those jugs once for a family reunion and threw away 3/4 of it. They last way too long and are not tasty. Don't tell Audrey though, cause she likes 'em!
I'm due for a new hairdo. Mabye I ought to give the 'titlewave' look a shot.
You should try that hairdo Cassie. The best part about it is that you can store cheese puffs in the poof of your hair. That might come in handy on fast Sunday and road trips!
Alright Becca. I have to comment. Saige asked for--and received-- a giant container of said cheese balls for her birthday. So some of that demand may be caused by weak mothers trying to appease their children. Just sayin' :) And BTW, they are really awful. Taste and smell. Think of fermented milk-- bulk style, baby.
Haaaaaaa leave it to Saige to ask for a giant tub o' cheese puffs. She's so funny! Did she eat them?
Oh, and I'm glad to see you finally comment. I know your conscience feels cleaner already!
Post a Comment